Through my years of going to the gym, I have ran into people who are absolutely ridiculous in their actions when at the gym. I would like to touch on a dozen of these assholes in a three part series. Today, I will focus on those who fault on equipment and accessories.
Guy Who Takes Up Ten Machines – If you are going to use a bunch of machines (I use this term loosely as it can also relate to bench press or just about any workout equipment in general) in the gym, you need to let people work through, because the gym’s equipment is not your equipment, it’s everybody’s. If you want to take up a bunch of machines, get yourself a personal gym. I can understand using two machines at the same time as I do it quite frequently. If you are plowing through your workout and bouncing back and forth without taking breaks, then I don’t see anything wrong with being on a maximum of two machines. If you aren’t plowing through, then let people work through and nobody gets affected.
Guy Who Lurks To Steal Equipment – As I stated earlier, it is okay to take up two machines if you are plowing through, because I only take about 3-4 minutes to get through my three sets on two different things. Since nearly everyone takes anywhere from 5-10 minutes to get in three sets on one machine, there is nothing wrong with this. If you do want to work in with me, I really don’t have a problem with that either as long as you ask first, we’re cool. The guy who just waits for me to go to a different machine while I leave all of my stuff by the other machine so he can take over irritates me. He sees me on it, he sees a pile of stuff next to it, but he assumes that I won’t be needing that machine anymore. Really? Anytime you are suspicious that somebody else is using something you want to use, simply use common courtesy and ask the person. Some people are douchebags, but most people will let you work through. The douches are the problem with not having a home gym. It’s something you accept, and you do not let the minority of douches turn you into a douche as well.
Under Armour/Weight Gloves Guy – Who the fuck still wears weight gloves? Unless you’re a hand model, it is absolutely inexcusable to be that guy. You are the least harmless of all of these people, because you aren’t drawing attention to yourself, and you aren’t interfering with other people’s workouts, but grow up. Weight gloves are like scarves, it only makes sense for gay guys.
Under Armour guy is ridiculous. I have Under Armour, and the only times I wear it is when it is cold outside and I need to do an activity like running or playing football. It’s not cold in a gym, so why anybody would need Under Armour is beyond me. This fashion statement does not make you look cool, it just lets everybody know that you’re a douche.
Do The Dew Guy – The entire world knows that there are two truly extreme things in this world, Doritos and Mountain Dew. Although I’m disappointed I have yet to see anybody chomping on Doritos during their workout, I have definitely seen guys doing the Dew. I do not quite understand how you would want to something unhealthy while trying to do something healthy at the same time. I realize that alcohol is not healthy and yet I partake in drinking copious amounts of it, but I’m not pounding Nattys in between sets. It makes me sick to my stomach and I see multiple people drinking Dew while working out. Luckily, there are some health-conscious guys out there as they choose to go with Diet Mountain Dew.
Coming Up Next Time - Morons Who Do Too Much Talking