Thursday, June 24, 2010

Quick Thoughts

First things first, Jose Canseco decided to be awesome again:
JoseCanseco I'm doing a porn next week. We'll bring a donkey to it's knees baby

The NBA Draft is tonight, and obviously John Wall will be the number one pick, and that's pretty boring to me. I thought this would be a boring draft for the Bulls, but there has been a rumor going around that the Bulls are looking to shop Luol Deng and their #17 pick to move up in the draft. The most talked about destination has been the Clippers at #8. If this trade happens, it means the Bulls are supremely confident that they can sign LeBron. It also means they'd only need to clear about two million off their cap to give a max contract to Bosh as well. Hello, dynasty.

I'll give Iowa State some love as I think Craig Brackins is the most underrated player in the draft. The players around him were so pathetic that they would probably have trouble with our All-Under 6'0" Field House team (to be fair, we were a pretty ballin' ass team). But everybody had the game plan of stopping Brackins to win, and he still put up very good numbers. At worse, I feel he's a guy who can be in your rotation of bigs.

The second most underrated prospect? Devan Bawinkel.

The human ear is the second most disgusting body part around. If a bug looked like an ear, people would freak out anytime that they saw that bug. It's just misshapen, and has weird folds. Things stick out where it should be smooth. And there's proof that I am right. Nobody has ever seen ear porn. When I googled Ear Porn, all that showed up was sites referring to really good or sexy music. If you are a body part that can't get some sort of pornography going, there is something seriously wrong with you. (FYI, the most disgusting body part is any penis that isn't mine)

If this blog blows up and I get bought out for $10 million, my bathroom will definitely have a toilet and a urinal in it. Usually, taking a leak is just getting rid of waste and not all that exciting, but it would be awesome to have your own urinal. There would be a urinal cake in mine at all times. Imagine the sense of accomplishment when you disintegrated an entire urinal cake using nothing but the power of your own urine. I don't think there would be a day I'd enjoy more than the day I had to replace the urinal cake because of my own destruction of the urinal cake.

If this happens, I may have to boycott Showtime.

And if you don't love Ricky Stanzi already, this video will probably change your mind. Not only has Stanzi usurped Jim Harbaugh as Captain Comeback, but he also shows that he has a heart of gold.


If that video doesn't convince you, then here's Stanzi explaining his famous post-game speech about America.

I plan on using the phrase, "These colors don't run" in any situation where it can be remotely relevant.

-Joe

P.S. I'm going to be in Southern California the weekend of July 9th, so if any of my dedicated fans want to meet me in person and buy me a drink, feel free to contact me (I really hope this works).

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