Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Comprehensive Breakdown of Steel Magnolia's "Just By Being You"

Back by popular demand (this one's for you, Meryl), I am going to break down another song so you can understand exactly what the lyrics mean. This time, I will be breaking down Steel Magnolia's "Just By Being You." I hated this song when I first heard it, and I am disgusted by it now. Seriously, if you like this song, you're a sick piece of shit. Let's break it down.

Let's run away
Where nothing stands between me and you
Let's find a place
Somewhere a little closer to a dream
And call it a home
Where there's no right and wrong
And we can be all alone

Although it's a slow song, it's pretty clear what this dude is talking about. He's talking about banging this chick. Clearly, neither of these people are classy. He's looking for a place, a little closer to a dream, and call it a home. This is actually pretty disgusting. If you don't understand what he's referring to, let me spell it out for you, he's looking to bang this girl in a port-a-potty. It's quite obvious. The way the sunlight hits the port-a-potty always gives it a dream-like feeling (especially since people only use port-a-potties when heavily intoxicated). He bangs this point home when he says that there's no right or wrong, and they can be all alone. All he has to do is put the lock on, and everyone will know that the port-a-potty is occupied. I would think about making this a post for my quintessential guide to seducing women, but I hope that everyone knows that trying to bring a girl to a port-a-potty is not a great move.

Chorus
And I'll take off my halo
If you take off your wings.
You don't have to be invincible
Cause I sure ain't no saint
You'll always be my angel
No matter what you do,
Cause you take me to heaven just by being you

When first listening to this song, this was the part that always bothered me the most. Every single time I heard this song, I assumed that he would say, "I'll take off my halo, if you take off your pants." It just seems like pants was such a better fit for this song. Then I took a step back. And after I learned his plans in verse one, his lyrics made a ton more sense to me. Yep, he's talking about those wings.
Yes, these are the wings he wants his toilet lady to remove. Seriously bro, if you dabble in that, that's alright, but don't write a song about it. He then talks about her not being invincible, which is obvious since she's having lady troubles with her snizz. He talks about not being a saint (no shit), but she'll always be an angel. This is where he kind of plays off the situation, because even if she removes her wings, he won't think any less of her. Basically, this guy is just desperate to get laid. Really, really desperate.

Tell me a secret
Tell me things no one else should know
Even in your weakness
Baby drop your guard just let it go
Until everything's exposed
And you don't have to feel ashamed
Baby just say my name

I'll admit that the beginning of this first verse had me stumped for a little bit, as it is now a broad singing the lyrics. Then, unfortunately, it became disgustingly clear. His secret? Genital herpes. That's his weakness, and dropping his guard is a metaphor for dropping his pants. This hussy is still game despite him having herpes. She has exposed her monthly problem, he has exposed his herpes, and neither are ashamed by it (although they should be). She then wants him to say her name just so she can maintain at least one small bit of pride, but baby, after what you two have gone through, you will never have pride again.

They then go through the chorus again, which is again, absolutely disgusting, before going into the next verse.

When I see you standing there
You know it all becomes so clear
The way you look
The way you touch
I need the way you lift me up
This will never feel complete
Until there's nothing in between
And we have brought down every wall
And baby, baby, baby lets just fall

They start singing this one together just to really hammer home how despicable these two people really are. They actually agree that this won't feel complete until there is nothing in between. These sick fucks aren't even going to use a condom when she's bleeding and he's got herpes. It's like they think STDs are like Pogs, and the more you have, the cooler you are. It doesn't work that way.

They end the song by singing "Let's Run Away" multiple times. I wish they meant they were going to run away to a doctor to get their junk/lady junk checked out, but I know that's not the case. These two are probably looking to increase their pog collection with the ultimate slammer of STDs and hoping to run into a bummy with HIV.

I understand that I talk about some off-the-wall topics occasionally, but analyzing this song actually made me sick to my stomach. Please boycott these appalling pieces of shit.

-Joe

P.S. I'll admit that this makes me like Brian Wilson more.

P.P.S. Although this blog is primarily pro-puppies, there's still some love for kittens, especially if they're fainting.

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