Monday, November 15, 2010

Females: The Pedophiles of the 21st Century

I've noticed an extremely creepy trend happening among females my age and even older.  Apparently, they have a huge blind spot when it comes to the laws of America, because they believe that raping children is actually now acceptable.  It is not.

These broads have what is referred to as "Bieber Fever."  They talk of how much they love him, how they're going to marry him, have babies with him, and a lot of other really disturbing things that should not be repeated.  Yet somehow, nobody is putting social pressure on these creepy broads in their mid-20s.  That is what I'm here for.

Now I'm not familiar with Bieber's music, but I know he has a song where he keeps screaming baby, so maybe it's a subliminal message to the girls who listen to this music that they want to have sex with babies.  If that is the case, please seek help ladies, because that is NOT okay.

But imagine if we reversed gender roles in this situation.  Imagine me obsessing about a 15 year old girl named Justine Beaver.  Buying posters of this girl, talking about how we're going to get married, and how great looking our children will be.  That's creepy as shit.  Just typing that scenario sent chills down my spine, because Hott Joe as a pedophile is no Hott Joe at all.  The scariest thing would be if I actually went to this little girl's concert.  Imagine me, as a totally badass 26 year old male, hanging around in the middle of a sea of teenage girls as I sing along to every Justine Beaver song.  That's so messed up.

There is no way that my friends would remain my friends.  Some would say that this means they weren't my friends at all, but those people are morons, because if your friend is acting like a creepy pedophile, it is okay to start looking for new friends.  Somehow, women are able to bond over their pedophilia and fantasies of statutory rape.

I used to think pedophiles only looked like this:
But apparently they also look like this:
This has to stop.


P.S. Don't be fooled by the Portuguese, because this video of Steven Seagal training Lyoto Machida is awesome.
Rampage is screwed.

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