Friday, January 28, 2011

The Dumbest Customers I Helped In 14 Hours - Part One

After reading the title of this article, you must be shocked to learn that I not only ran into dumbasses, but I can actually make a whole series of posts about how stupid people are with just 14 hours of exposure to them. Hey, it shocked me too, but these people need to be reprimanded for their behavior.  It's probably best that I quit, because I probably would have had to start another blog just for my "Dumbass of the Day" award. 

Today, I'll start with the most harmless dumbass, and we'll work up to people who are both dangers to themselves and society as a whole.

A gentleman walked into the store the other day and was looking at weight loss products.  There is nothing terribly wrong with that.  I believe the best weight loss product is a good pair of running shoes, but it takes hard work for those to be effective so I understand why people will look for an easy fix (even though it will not be a long-term solution).  He pointed to a product called Xenadrine and was confident that it worked because Ronnie from the Jersey Shore uses it.  For anyone who thinks advertisements don't really work, his man is a shining example that yes, in fact, they work quite well.

Now I was familiar with the commercial, because I had seen it about 30 times in the last couple weeks.  But I had no clue what product he was promoting, because I could never stop laughing after the first five seconds.

Yes, it's easy to laugh at how awful of an actor he is.  I really imagine that him filming the commercial was a lot like when Rocky Balboa was trying to do commercials but couldn't read.  Let's be honest, there's a 75% chance that Dean (the Ronnie lookalike) was called on to do a stand-in on this commercial.

As hilarious as that is, my favorite is when Ronnie says, "I'm Ronnie from Jersey Shore, and keeping it real is what it's all about."  The beauty of this line is that while he is saying it, they show him posing for a camera at a fake red carpet event.  Are they being ironic?  I doubt it, because most meatheads aren't intelligent enough to for irony.

Yet this commercial appeared to wow this prospective customer.  Some might give him some slack since he is young and impressionable.  I mean, the kid watches the Jersey Shore, so he just hasn't fully developed his bullshit detector yet.  These would all be good arguments if this customer wasn't in his 40s, and waxing poetically about the benefits of a product that Ron-Ron endorses. 

As bad as this guy is, the people I will tell you about in the next week or so will actually be worse.


P.S.  Most hilarious conversation I've had today.  Somebody called me that worked for a job recruiting company, and he talked to me about what I wanted in a job.  After talking for a while, he told me, "This job looks like it would be good for you, ooh, wait, maybe not.  It does pay a little higher than you were looking for, but you'd be working less hours."  Needless to say, I will be meeting with this guy later today.

P.P.S.  This is a couple months old, but I forgot to put it up for people to enjoy.  Here is Henry Rollins owning a group of absolute pieces of shit, aka hipsters.

1 comment:

  1. Are you tawkin to me? What do we amuse you? Are we your clowns?
    Obviously you have not taken note that I am from the Jersey shore unlike the [ahem] 'stars' of the show you mention who are merely what we locals refer to as BENNIES aka locusts (usually from NY and Philly}that invade our beaches from Memorial - Labor Day.
    So besides needing some legal speed and self-esteem what made this guy a dumbass? Stick around in the work force and this guy will look like a Mensa candidate. One day I will share some of my own war stories.