Tuesday, January 11, 2011

If Headbands Are Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right

With the world firmly in the winter months, everyone has changed their wardrobe to adjust to the cold weather.  It's too cold for t-shirts which sucks, and it's also too cold for jean skirts, which really, really...really sucks.  As someone who adheres to age old adage of "Less is more," I have a tip that will blow your mind.

That tip is the headband.
Don't be sad pretty lady, headbands are a great way to keep your ears warm.

Now, I know what everybody is thinking.  Headbands are only for the ladies, and I'll admit that I used to agree.  But then I couldn't find my stocking cap before a run one day, and all I had was an old headband laying around.  I quickly weighed the pros and cons.  The pros would be that my ears would warm, and it would lock my headphones into my ears.  The con was I would look like a douchebag.  Pros win 2-1.  I've always been a comfort over style guy anyway.

So I put on that headband and went for my run.  Let me tell you, it was glorious.  Sure, everyone driving by probably thought I was a little dainty, but I didn't care, my ears were warmed by the soothing sounds of Metallica and my totally heterosexual headband.

But headbands aren't just for running.  They're great for when you hit up the clubs and want to score some broads for the evening.  Not only will it keep your hair looking fresh when you stomp into the club, but a headband fits conveniently in a back pocket, where a bulky stocking cap has a chance to hinder your West Coast Dance.

And don't worry ladies.  I know you thought headbands would forever remain your thing, but I promise that you'll always have cooking, cleaning, and getting paid less for the same amount of work.  God Bless America.

-Joe

P.S.  Ted Williams, who I wrote about last week, has already been arrested.  Call this a victory for logic.

P.P.S.  Have you heard about this Derrick Rose fella?  He's quite dandy with a basketball.

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