Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'm Unemployed Again

Well, that lasted long.  After my important announcement yesterday (I highly recommend reading that first if you haven't already), my employer and I separated on good terms today.  At this time, I will reveal that I was employed at GNC.  They were going to train me to be a manager, but I realized that this job was just not for me.  I wish I had something bad to say about them, but everyone I worked with were good guys.  My boss even told me that if I wanted to pick up hours as a part-timer, he'd gladly bring me on board for that.

This seems to be a pretty easy job where I could at least have some consistent income, so what went wrong?  Well, there are certain things about the job that added up to make me truly dread a future with the company.  None of these on their own are deal breakers, but if I could be picky (which I really can't), I'd avoid all of these.

1.  Hours - Being a manager, your days off are almost always Wednesday and Sunday.  You can get time off if necessary, but not having a weekend off without a special request is a real drag.  If I want to hold onto my youth and head to Iowa City for a weekend, I have to plan that weeks in advance.  I'd rather just get out at 5 or 6 and hit the road so I can get my dance on.

2.  Activity - I'm a pretty smart guy, but I hate thinking.  Thinking has rarely treated me well, so I try to avoid it as much as possible.  If I can just stay busy, and keep plowing through activities, that's when I am truly at my best and why I can excel when people let me be a Wild Card and just do whatever needs to get done.  At GNC, I could already tell that I was going to have a lot of down time.  Sure, I could use that time to stare at girls walking through the mall, but I get bored at strip clubs, so looking at fully clothed women wasn't exactly going to exhilarate me.  So if I just stand around, I'll start thinking, and it's best if I don't start thinking.

3.  Internet - I understand that just about every job is going to have some down time, and my best case scenario is that I shut off my brain and turn into a zombie if I don't have anything to do.  I would prefer to have Internet access.  I don't need it to look up stupid YouTube videos (otherwise I'd have nothing to do in my free time), but I do like to read.  It keeps my brain working, which makes me more effective when things need to get done.

4.  Shirt and Tie - If I can avoid wearing a shirt and tie every day, I would definitely prefer that.  I do my best work in gym shorts, with my shirt popped off, but this is something I am willing to compromise on.  I understand if a company allowed this, it would be extremely difficult for the females to focus long enough to get anything done.

5.  Name Tag - I hate name tags.  I hate them so much.  Just writing about them gets my blood boiling.  I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I find it demeaning and beneath me.  At every job that required me to wear a name tag, I have conveniently forgot it 90% of the time.

6.  Pay - This was sadly just the icing on the cake.  I'm not a money driven person.  I don't have nice stuff, I don't need nice stuff.  The only reason I want money is to feel like I am being fairly compensated for the work that I am putting into my job.  If I don't feel I'm being fairly compensated, I will have trouble working to my full potential.  This is why I rarely show any malice towards an athlete holding out for more money.  If a guy deserves more money, and he has leverage, I can't complain about him using that leverage to improve his life. 

As I said before, none of those are deal breakers on their own, but when they all added up, I knew that I would not be worthwhile to the company.  I could have stuck around a while and milked some cash out of them, but my integrity would not allow it.  So it's back to the drawing board; I am still very much available for the position of International Playboy if any ladies are interested.

-Joe

P.S.  Although I haven't played for a while, I'm still pretty sure I could pull off any of these shots in tennis:

1 comment:

  1. Wow that was a record breaking shortest career on record. I hope you walked away with a decent package ... Xenadrine diet pills perhaps? HAR!

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