Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Ultimate Warrior Will Inspire You

When I first started writing about The Ultimate Warrior, I did it because I thought it would be hilarious. Then immediately after I made my decision, he decided to come out of hiding and become a master of social networking and self-promotion. That was obviously a very happy surprise for me, but after reading his tweets, watching his videos, and studying his artwork, I have learned there is far more to The Warrior than meets the eye.

The Ultimate Warrior has inspired me, and he has the power to inspire you too. Let's go on a journey through the mind of the Warrior, and remember to put on your jockstrap, because this ride is so awesome it may explode an unprotected ballsack.


The Ultimate Warrior
Crossfit, Kettlebells, OldSchool, Bodyweight, Core -- they ALL work. I despise bias marketing propaganda. ALL BS. Shut up. Train.
I figured I would start off with something that is low in inspiration (for Warrior's standards) but is just really good advice. If you're looking to get in better shape, don't look for the next fad workout, just work hard, and you will see results. Some might say the Warrior is all talk, but this video proves otherwise:

Warrior and I have very similar workout habits. He probably grunts louder and spits on himself a lot more, but I talk less and check myself out in the mirror more, so I'd call it a draw.


The Ultimate Warrior
People can do better things with their life potential than others but NO ONE has more potential than any other to start with.
The Ultimate Warrior
All of us are born with the potential to do great things and live great lives.
For those that can't fully comprehend the Warrior's inspiration, this is basically telling you to stop being a pussy and go for it. What is it? That's for you to figure out, you can't depend on Warrior for everything.

The Ultimate Warrior
Haters are good for me. Their hate jacks me up like steroids. In fact, I called my tailor and carpenter. Larger clothes. Bigger doorways.
Thinking of haters while working out is a surefire method to having a great workout. Plus, "Larger Clothes. Bigger Doorways" is my favorite meathead quote since "More Weights Equals More Dates." It's one of my mantras while I put up the big boy dumbbells at the gym.

The Ultimate Warrior
Live lives of truth. Inspire ME. I succeeded at being a sports entertainer, and I am proud of what we did together.
The Ultimate Warrior is a symbol of humility. He succeeded at being a sports entertainer, but he is proud of what WE did together. I'm proud to have contributed to his professional wrestling career. I am slightly less proud that I helped him give this speech.

The Ultimate Warrior
But, to me, YOU are ALL better than that. YOU can do better. You can turn the whole fucking world upside down. I can feel your power. W
This may seem a little lame and very After School Special-esque, but this is helpful. Think about this mantra when you are doing hard work. If you do this at work, you'll earn a promotion. If you do this in your social life, you will double your friends on Facebook. If you do this with your old lady, it won't take 9 months for a baby to pop out, it will take three months...and instead of a baby, you'll probably get a puppy. Feel the power.

And to wrap up, a video from The Warrior:

"If you want to be done with something, do it right the first time." I'm so pumped I could headbutt a roided out zebra. And you can bet your ass that I'll produce big puddles of guts while doing it.

-Joe

P.S. If that wasn't enough inspiration for you, enjoy some artwork from The Warrior:

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