Wednesday, August 17, 2011

If Charlie Sheen Had Substance

A few months ago, everybody freaked out because they thought Charlie Sheen was the most amazing human being ever. He said really weird shit, and he coined the phrase "Winning." Winning will probably live on occasionally, as it should be as relevant as Austin Powers', "Do I make you horny baby?" and Borat's "Very nice," or whatever the fuck their catchphrases were. Other than that, people pretty much grew bored of him in three weeks.

The reason that Charlie Sheen had no staying power is because he isn't that creative, and he had no substance to his message. It's necessary to have one of the two, and obviously his thoughts had no substance, and what people originally mistook as creativity was actually just a guy who's a little fucked up in the head talking out of his ass.

But there's a new Charlie Sheen out there, except this new guy is an old friend who has substance to his message and whose greatness is impossible to sum up in words. Who is it? It's this guy.
Ultimate Warrior has been putting out a ton of videos and inspirational messages every week, and they are all awesome. When people watch the videos, they may look at them and think that The Warrior is fucking crazy. Here are some of the ideas he's proposed in his videos (all paraphrased, because if I watched these videos while writing, I would immediately stop writing and start breaking down walls):

If you don't know what to do when you go to the gym, just start moving the weights from one weight tree to another weight tree across the room. If you can't move the weights, just start moving benches. When you do that, you'll accomplish goal one, making sure nobody talks to you.


Fuck your job.

The library is awesome. It's the second greatest place in the world...right behind Disneyland.


Stop eating cheerios, you giant pussy.

Okay, so maybe he is a tad crazy. But even admitting that, you have to hang in there to truly appreciate the pure inspiration that his insanity brings.

His craziness actually serves a purpose. I can't speak for everybody, but I know that I need a little crazy when I work out. When I'm just sitting at my computer, reading and writing, I listen to hippies and country music. But when I hit the gym or go for a run, I turn to gangster rap and death metal. That type of music talks a lot about killing and inflicting pain, and that's a good mindset to be in when you're inflicting pain on yourself. This is what Warrior understands. He doesn't give people the normal bullshit of try hard and things will work out. He doesn't even want people to be their best. He wants people to be better than their best, he encourages people to push themselves beyond their limits.

The truth is The Warrior isn't crazy, he's just really fucking passionate. Everybody needs a passion to be happy. Warrior is passionate about people reaching their absolute potential. You can't do that without good health, and whether it's lifting, cardio, or eating right, The Warrior is fucking passionate about healthy living. And because he talks about what he is passionate about, it is far more meaningful and far more entertaining than what Charlie Sheen or any other celebrity talks about.

Warrior has a series called "It Does Matter" where he said the videos would be two to three minutes. I honestly think that was his intention, but those videos currently average a time of nearly 11 minutes. This is a guy who has a simple message he wants to get to, and he nails it, but then it leads him off in three other directions and he'll nail all those ideas too, because as the Warrior has been preaching, there's no reason to let good thoughts go to waste.

And that's the beauty of the Warrior's messages. Unlike a crazy, drug-fueled, Charlie Sheen, The Warrior's messages actually have substance. I obviously recommend all the videos, but Dr. Warrior's Injections of Inspiration are my favorites. You will never be the same after watching these.



So put down the Cheerios, stop being a pussy, don't worry about your job, and just bring a new level of intensity to making your life better.

It's not the American way, it's the Warrior way.

-Joe

P.S. If you want to check out the second best thing on Blogspot (next to this site, obviously), check out Wrestling For Gable, and yes, it's exactly what you think it is. By far the best reading I have done this week.

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