Jobs Applied For:
John Deere – Product Marketing Analyst
Palen Financial LLC – Office Manager
Norandex – Customer Service Representative
InfoSec Institute – Student Services Office Manager
– Group Sales Account Executive USA
Buehler – Service Coordinator
Home Warranty of
– Customer Service Team Lead America
United Health – Claims Resolution Specialist
Pac-12 Enterprises – Sales Manager
Medicus Healthcare Solutions – Credentialing Coordinator
John Deere Financial – Web Communications Coordinator
National Hot Rod Association – Ticket Sales Consultant
Best Job: Meta Communications - Marketing Director
Yeah, so I just went to a www.random.org, to get a random number, and it came up with that job, because nearly all of those jobs are the exact same, so it was impossible for me to differentiate from them. Congratulations to the fine folks at Meta Communications.
Most Hilarious Job: National Hot Rod Association - Ticket Sales Consultant
Who doesn't love "The Hot Rod," "Rowdy" Roddy Piper? It doesn't matter what The Hot Rod is doing, because selling tickets for it will be like the easiest thing on the planet. Plus, I'm guessing that Piper and I will have to hang out occasionally. I imagine that we will become best friends pretty quickly until one day he reveals that he actually has another best friend. I'll be distraught about this, but then he'll reveal that his other best friend is Jose Canseco, and then we'll all be best friends and probably be the most powerful "Big 3" since the original nWo. (And I refuse to believe that the National Hot Rod Association is for anything but "Rowdy" Roddy Piper)
Best Story: Explaining My Time Off
So I have only had a couple part time jobs recently, and that definitely scares employers. For good reason, they wonder what the hell I did with my life. I tell them that I wrote a screenplay, and that very rarely gets much reaction at all. Then I tell them that I trained in mixed martial arts, which brings a scared silence to the conversation. I have learned to quickly follow this up with, "But as anybody who knows me will tell you, I could never be a fighter, because I'm not nearly tough enough." 90% of the time this gets a laugh out of whoever is interviewing me. When it doesn't, I know I'm fucked, but if it does, I know that I at least have a shot.
This past week, things couldn't have gone better when I went through my normal spiel. I interviewed with a man and a woman, and the woman's husband trained MMA, while the other guy was a wrestler who already has his kids in martial arts. These two could not have loved me any more, as we got completely off topic and they had smiles on their faces the entire time. I left that interview knowing that I nailed it.
The next business day they told me they hired an internal candidate.
Back to the drawing board.
P.S. The only way I would ever go to a therapist is if that therapist was Chael Sonnen.