I am sure this happened much earlier in life for most of you, but I just recently found out that I am not perfect. On Friday, I woke up with red spots covering my body. I’m not sure about all of you, but this is not normal for me. Turns out, I am allergic to sulfa. This is my first known allergy, so it was a little bit of a shock. I always liked to look at myself as the quintessential male, but now I realize that I have a fatal flaw. Much like Superman has Kryptonite and Achilles has…his achilles, super villains could now try to take over the world by throwing sulfa tablets into my mouth.
Also, ladies, sulfa gives me red spots all over, so please, if you want to take advantage of me, stick to roofies. It's best for everyone involved.