Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Let's Talk About Rhino Sex

The most popular thing I have written for this blog, by far, is Let's Talk About Dolphin Sex. That makes me happy and disgusted all at once. It is disturbing the amount of people that look up human sex with dolphins and find this blog. But hey, like they always say, what happens in international waters, stays in international waters.

Although I haven't received many reader requests lately, I did get one the other day. Reader Influ Ence simply went to the Facebook page and wrote, "Rhino sex explination." That is incredibly vague, but hey, if that's what the people want, who am I to deny them?

The very first thing I did was Google, "Rhino Human Sex." This led to the subsequent videos popping up:

1. White rhinos mating
2. horny elephant raped rhino
3. Rhino trying to have sex
4. Awkward man tries to have sex with Rhino on Vimeo
5. Rhino Sex (posted by TheBeastialityMan)

I don't want to watch any of those videos. When it comes to researching animal sex, reading is fundamental. Finally, I tried beastiality rhino in my search engine, and that was a terrible, awful, no good, stupid idea.

It would have been fine had I just not clicked, but curiosity got the best of me. I went to a trusted source, beastiality.com. They had a site titled "Female Rhino Pics." I knew there were risks involved. If this meant there was a rhino with a female, I had a contingency plan to click away the second I saw human skin before my eyes could focus on the image. What I was hoping for was just a sexy looking rhino lady. You know, maybe she's winking at the camera, or giving a "come hither" look. I'm not into animals, so I don't know what gets them off, but I figured that was a possibility.

Instead, it was EXTREME close-ups of rhino vaginas. Luckily, the images were only thumbnails, because you could definitely full screen these things to get an even more disturbing look.

Um, so to explain rhino sex, it basically just looks like they do it doggy style. I didn't find any evidence of them using their horns for foreplay, which seems like a waste, because I think some freaky rhino ladies might be into that. Hell, some of the less conventional fellas might be into it as well.

Oh, and to satisfy all the readers who are looking for pictures of a sexy rhino, this should do:
Now THAT'S a sexy rhino.

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