Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Number One Fan

So, out of pure boredom, I decided to check recent comments on the blog (there are rarely any) when I came across some gems. I found that one user had been very active over a two day stretch, and he immediately became my favorite commenter. User 875b3562-3b7a-11e2-9868-000bcdcb5194 is my new number one fan. I know the name doesn't quite role off the tongue, but this string of comments brought me incredible joy. It all started when he came across the blog by looking up a song that I am guessing that he enjoyed, Thomas Rhett's Beer With Jesus. Needless to say, we very much differed on our opinions of this song.

So, Hott Joe, nice name by the way. I can't help but think it should be Not Hott Joe. :) I am curious as to what kind of classy, non white trash music you listen to based on your comment, “…I thought there might be a new song that would be about partying or drinking excessively that I could jam out to.” Personally, I listen to a little bit of everything (except pop, alternative screamer, or just plain annoying music) including songs about partying and drinking along with songs by Thomas Rhett. I would say there’s a lot of pure crap on country radio such as Taylor Swift, The Band Perry, etc. but I completely disagree with your review of “Beer with Jesus” and Thomas Rhett. Good songs are ones that that make you think and make you feel. Obviously you thought quite about this song while breaking it down. Thomas Rhett is a good songwriter because his music does connect to people, it makes you think, and it can be amusing too. All of his songs sound really good or even better acoustic and to me that is a very good indicator that someone can really sing and write. Too much music of all genres is “overprocessed”. I would agree with the other person who commented that this song is about a conversation with Jesus. After all isn’t that what praying really should be – a conversation and developing a relationship with Jesus? Whether the conversation happens in a bar, while taking a walk, driving a car, in a church, in a jail, on a battlefield, or wherever it’s about the connection not about where you are. Don’t you think that’s how Jesus would want to connect to people (just like he did 2,000+ year ago) by being personal, talking, and creating a bond? What do good friends do? They hang out, they have a drink, they have a meal, they relax, and they talk. I don’t think Jesus would be like those dumbass evangelists in those mega-church auditoriums trying to make everyone swoon around them and asking for all their money! So after wasting my time reading your review I would have to say to other readers “I seriously recommend that you do not put yourself through that.”

The only thing that I would really like to point out about this entire post is that if you are going to mock my GOD GIVEN name of Hott Joe in a simple manner, please refer to me as Nott Hott Joe. Otherwise, the people who come after you will have trouble remembering which one has two t's and which only has one. It just makes it easier for everyone.

Back to the point at hand: Does this anonymous person hate me? In the immortal words of Lee Corso, not so fast, my friend. Instead of giving his opinion and leaving to never be heard from again, he decided to check out some other things on the blog. He decided to read about my hatred for the Verizon NFL Mobile commercial, and this is what he had to say:

Got a good laugh out of this. I do think I might hate the girl Verizon commerical just a little bit more. Why the f*** would Drew Brees be at a barbeque with her?

Uh oh, we are starting to agree on things. Still, the girl is not nearly as bad as the guy. That damn Under Armour shirt pisses me off to no end. I do have to agree that Drew Brees should not be hanging out with a woman who reminds me of Gail the Snail.

Our friend then moved onto the worst people on the planet series that I wrote a few years back. His taste in humor seemed to be maturing rapidly as shown by this comment:

I laughed my ass off. Looking forward to Part 2!

Finally, he brought it full circle by going back to the post on Beer with Jesus and wrote this:

Definitely should have read some of your other stuff first... before I took your song review as half-ass serious. Dolphin sex!? Soaking??? I just may have to "like" you on facebook.

And the 180 degree turn is complete. I now have a new number one fan. Thank you anonymous reader. You are a shining beacon of hope in a dark world that considers me a jackass.


  1. Hey, Nott Hott Joe! Notice the two tt’s – I do try to pay attention. I had the pleasure of reading this the other night. I must admit, it made me feel pretty damn good to have a blog devoted to me. My favorite part was the last line, “You are a shining beacon of hope in a dark world that considers me a jackass.” That line is pure blogging poetry. I even posted it as a quote on facebook and said it was the nicest compliment I had ever received. It also made me feel pretty damn good knowing I had brought a little joy into your world with my comments. Now that I have all the complimentary bullshit aside, I am contemplating how best to break this to you and wondering if the truth will cause irrevocable harm to your ego or if possibly it will bring more joy to know that your writing may appeal to a wider audience… your “Number One Fan” is not a guy. Your anonymous reader 875b3562-3b7a-11e2-9868-000bcdcb5194 is in fact female. To be exact, I am a 41 year old married woman with 4 kids who used to be kind of hot before 21 years of marriage, a full-time job and 4 kids (aged 4 yrs – 22 yrs old) did me in. A few simple things I appreciate in life are cold beer, big ass margaritas, football, basketball, good music, days when none of my employees bitch about meaningless shit, nights when I get a few minutes to myself to do nothing but sit on my ass and last, but not least, smartass opinionated humor such as yours.

    1. This is fantastic news. Not only my number one fan, but finally a female who doesn't hate me. I can't even put my girlfriend in that category.