Monday, December 10, 2012

The Mystery of the Cut Ballsack

Get it? Mystery.

Hey guys, we need to talk. Here's the situation: I went out for a run on Saturday morning. It was a rather cold day, so I bundled up and hit the streets. Ten miles later I made it home feeling fine...or so I thought. After eating a banana and washing it down slowly with a glass of water, I decided it was time to hit the shower.

Everything seemed normal as I stripped naked until I was down to nothing but my compression shorts. As I took off my last layer of clothing before hopping in the shower, I noticed something alarming. There was blood in my shorts. Uh, that's not good. My initial reaction was that maybe I wiped too hard and tore my anus a little bit, but, without reaching up in there, I determined that everything was fine on my backside. After further inspection, I noticed that I had a cut near the bottom of my ballsack. I had one thought:

How in the hell did that happen?

Now the most obvious culprit was that there was chafing during my run, and that caused a small cut on my ballsack. Although that theory has legs, I have some serious doubts. Not only was I wearing compression shorts to keep everything tight downstairs, I put on another small pair of boxer briefs over that to keep everything warm on my run. On top of that, I had Under Armour running pants. There should not have been enough jostling to cause this to happen.

I began to think back and realized that I did some manscaping on Thursday. I do not do a full shave, but I suppose it is possible that I could have clipped myself while trimming. Pain don't hurt, so maybe I just didn't notice. Still, I did not notice any blood until two days later. have I been bleeding for 48 hours without noticing it? That seems far-fetched, because I am not tough enough to bleed for 48 hours out of my ballsack without shedding some tears.

Finally, I had to wear a cup to jiu jitsu on Thursday night, so that could have caused some chafing. It doesn't fit that well, so that could have been the culprit. Still, that was far earlier than Saturday morning, so I feel like I would have noticed that earlier.

Was it manscaping? Was it a faulty cup? Was it simply the stress of running? Sadly, I will never know, but I'm really glad we talked.

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