#PerksOfDatingMe I promise to kiss you when you're in the middle of saying something, play with your hair, and love you till my last dayI assume that many ladies would get really irritated by this. Imagine trying to explain something and every fourth word, this asshole starts kissing you while you're trying to talk. I assume that this guy gets kneed in the groin a lot.
— The Outfielder Life™ (@OutfielderLife) December 27, 2012
#PerksOfDatingMe ill give you my hoodies 😘Do people have nothing to offer these days? Are they such pathetic individuals that the best they can offer is their thickest clothing? That's the best you got? And what do you do after you have given your girlfriend all of your hoodies? She will be super warm, and you will be worthless to the world.
— adam (@nolifeadam) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme I'd rather just chill than go to a party every weekendHey, ladies. You have friends? You like going out with them? This guy doesn't, so let him ruin your social life. You can spend every weekend on the couch and become stagnant pieces of shit, instead of, you know, living. Get in line for this one, ladies.
— Dylan (@Van0verbeke) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme I will pull you up on stage with me and let the world know who you are and how much you mean to me....By murdering you in front of all of your family and friends. Remember ladies, he only does it because he cares so much about you.
— Jared Ballenger (@jaredballenger) December 27, 2012
#PerksOfDatingMe You wouldn't have to worry about me cheating because nobody else wants me.No shit, dude. You're a real downer. And why do people think that being undesirable is a quality? That is the opposite of quality. That's like bragging about never worrying about starvation, because you're willing to eat shit even though nobody else is. Jack Mull, you are the shit eating of the dating scene.
— Jack Mull (@J4CKMULL) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme You need tampons babe ? You want ice cream too ? Tell me the brand and what kind and I'll be back in 20 minutes .This one really wore me down. A man can only read so much douchiness before it really makes him hate the world. There is so much that is pathetic about this tweet, but nothing will be sadder when he comes back with Playtex flavored ice cream and cherry pudding pops for her monthly.
— Kennedy Christofer⚡ (@_CupOfPudding) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme When it's late at night, and we are texting, you're the only one I am texting ..everyone else can wait until tommarowText from Grandma: I think I'm having a heart attack. Please help.
— Dream ChΔser™ (@ImKingOfThis) December 27, 2012
Dream Chaser thinks, "That's nice G-ma, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'm 'bout to text my boo about what type of buttons I should get on my jeans.
#perksofdatingme don't worry about changing the password on your phone. all your text already get sent to mine 😚Because all ladies want their man to have no faith in them to the point that they will break into their phone and then program it, so they can stalk them in both regular and cyberspace. This is the type of person who loves you so much that he will one day wear your skin.
— Jesse Olmstead (@J_Olm21) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme I will only bring my parents on the first 5 dates ;) after that its just you me and my ... GrandmaThis one is not nearly as depressing as the others, but it really angers me, because she totally messes up the form of the joke. It should end with "After that, it's just you and me...and my Grandma." Ending it with and my... makes no sense. What should the guy expect you to say after that pause? Tits? Butthole? Credit Card? Nobody expects that. Learn how to properly form a joke.
— Marisa Riggins(@lilriggins) December 27, 2012
#perksofdatingme If you treat me like a princess and respect me. You'll probably be the happiest man alive cause I'll treat you like a king”I know I have been having fun at these people's expense, but let's be real for a second. Quinetta, you poor thing. What you tweeted here is not good. If a guy treats you like a princess, and you treat him like a king. That means that you will be treating him like your Dad. Was he not around much? That's too bad, but calling your boyfriend Daddy and making him read you bedtime stories isn't going to change the past. Come on, let's take a step forward and never look back. You'll be better off for it.
— Quinetta Towachi (@AngelicaPikles) December 27, 2012