Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The Trivago Guy Would Like To Have Sex With You

This is something that has been on my mind for a while, and I'm guessing that this has been on your mind as well, as how the hell can you not think about the Trivago guy? He wants what is best for you, for you to get the best hotel deal around, but does anyone think that this man has no ulterior motives? I mean, come on, the Trivago guy is clearly trying to have sex with you. And if you feel as if the "you" I am referring to cannot possibly refer to you, well, guess what? You're wrong, the Trivago guy loves sex, and he will sex you while getting you an excellent deal on a hotel.

The Trivago guy is known for great deals on hotels, but even more well known is that he has that smoky voice and seems to be a little too fit for a guy his age. Speaking of that, you could convince me his age was anywhere from 18-75. The question then becomes, does Trivago make you look old, or does Trivago keep you young? Is the Trivago Guy immortal? As you're contemplating these questions, this silver fox is plotting, as he tries to find a way into your pants.

The one thing you won't notice in his online dating profile is his height. I mean, are we sure he's not a little person?
Like, you assume that his shirt is just a little big, and his legs look just a little short. But can we be certain that the shirt isn't just a polo that drapes over his tiny body? Are those jeans or Extra Small Capris? Those shoes are a size 5 tops. He seemed nice looking in his online dating profile, and he did get you a really great deal on your hotel, so you give him some more time to impress you when you see this.
I mean, yeah, that is as derpy of a face as possible, but that is just the next step in his plan, ensuring that you underestimate him. Never underestimate Trivago Guy or the great deals you will get on his website. And are all those numbers even necessary? That's a lot of numbers, it looks like at least 30 different numbers up there. So numbery and confusing. Oh no, I'm fading fast...

Don't worry folks. That was just a dramatic interpretation of what could happen, as The Trivago Guy is passionate about trying to have sex with you, but he's still more passionate about making it easy for you to find great deals on hotels.

Trivago: Great for hotels, Awful for Abstinence.

5 comments:

  1. This is my new bookmark list.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I mean, does your dating website include the Trivago guy? Because, as stated above, he's definitely DTF. I'll need to see an endorsement from him before I can commit to anything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you'd like an alternative to randomly flirting with girls and trying to find out the right thing to do...

    If you'd rather have women pick YOU, instead of spending your nights prowling around in filthy bars and night clubs...

    Then I urge you to view this eye-opening video to unveil a strange little secret that might get you your personal harem of hot women:

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    ReplyDelete
  4. Customer Care Number
    6206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605
    customer care number
    6206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605
    customer care number
    06206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605

    ReplyDelete
  5. Customer Care Number
    6206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605
    customer care number
    6206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605
    customer care number
    06206809546/6291633469
    India Pvt. Ltd.
    3rd Floor, Premier House
    Plot No. 38
    Central Road, MIDC
    Andheri (East)
    Mumbai – 400093
    India

    Toll Free No: 6206809546/6291633469

    Phone: +917047303458/+917063539605

    ReplyDelete