Thursday, June 30, 2016

Would You Still Have Sex With Sunny?

As a fan of the WWE during the Attitude Era, Sunny held a special place near and dear to my heart, well, the place was more prominently below the heart, but you get the idea.  Let's not forget how big of a deal she was. She was the most downloaded woman on AOL. That is a way more important title in discussing Hottest Woman in the World than a Miss Universe Pageant.

That was 20 years ago, and like all of us, Sunny has aged. With that she has also lived a pretty rough life. Her husband died young, she has been in and out of jail, and she has now gotten into pornography to make some extra cash. With all of that, it's not exactly a surprise that she has not aged gracefully.

Still, it's Sunny. This was the most downloaded woman on the dang internet. So the question becomes, would you still have sex with Sunny? Now, as a married man, my answer is obviously no, but that's a boring excuse, so for argument's sake, let's say I was still a single dude.

I mean, she's lived a hard life, and it definitely shows. It's not like she's a sexy cougar, she's just an old lady at this point. But that's comparing her more to the Sunny ideal than a standard test. If this wasn't Sunny, I think I would find her much more attractive at her age, but I've seen what she used to be (and it was during a time where I was very impressionable when it came to the ladies), so she unfairly gets downgraded in people's minds. Let's give her another shot (where I don't look for the worst possible picture to prove a point) with the most recent picture I could find which was her trying to sell her Hall of Fame ring.
Alright, alright. I can get behind that (accidental sexual innuendo, hey-o!).

But let's check Wikipedia to go over those arrests again (real name Tammy Sytch).

In 2012, Sytch was arrested five times in a four-week span, for disorderly conduct, third degree burglary, and three counts of violating a protective order. She was arrested a sixth time in January 2013, also for violating a protective order. Sytch served 114 days in jail and was released in May 2013...In January 2016, Sytch pleaded guilty to driving while under suspension-DUI related charges stemming from three separate arrests in May and June 2015.

Yeesh. That is not ideal. But there are certainly no deal breakers there.

Let's face it, Sunny wasn't just a random hot chick, she was the ideal woman of my adolescence, so of course I would still have a go at it with Sunny. She ain't what she used to be, but none of us are. But Sunny's still got it, and that's why it'll always be Sunny in my bedroom.

The only issue, and it was an issue that plagued me during my single days when it came to women, is that Sunny probably doesn't want to have sex with me. 


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