Monday, August 7, 2017

I Can No Longer Judge Women

There are positives and negatives to getting older. The negative is obvious in that my body has peaked, and now I'm on the downhill of that athletic peak. I'm doing my best to slow my trip down that hill, but there's no way of stopping it. The positives seem to outweigh that at this point in that I can do what I want, and I'm confident enough in myself to never really worry about what others think. I'm probably smarter now in that I read so many books that I stay a little too woke. I'm able to do this because I'm married, so I no longer need to give a lot of brain power to the opposite sex. In fact, I give so little brain power to women that I can no longer judge them on a surface level.

It's odd, because I used to not only judge women with reckless abandon, but I enjoyed the snap judgment of a woman's value based off nothing more than a glance. The Attitude Era of wrestling was great for me, because I got to see a lot of women with large breasts showing copious amounts of cleavage. I used to watch shitty TV shows just to see hot chicks. I mean, I watched Unhappily Ever After, a show with a talking bunny, just to check out Nikki Cox. And looking up that show, I realized I also watched the show, Pensacola: Wings of Gold to check out hot chicks too. I can guarantee that show sucked ass, but that just goes to show you what a little pervert I was back in the day.

But now, I simply can't judge women's looks. It's not for lack of trying, because I will stare down women, but I genuinely can't figure it out. I look at a woman, and I go through these thoughts, "Is she hot? Eh, probably not...but maybe," and that's where it almost always ends. I probably look like a damn creep, because I stare way harder, but it's all just curiosity, as I have no interest in bedding these women.

And I realize this is sexist behavior. Like, why does it matter how attractive a person is? It shouldn't at all, but I have spent my entire life objectifying women; it's not like I can just stop now. It's just now I can't come to a conclusion.

This is probably good as I can't give value to someone's looks if I am unable to judge them, but it's bad in that I continue to gawk at people like a creep. Luckily, I was never that impressive of a person to begin with, so it's not like it's going to make a significant difference in what people think about me. I just hope they are able to overcome what I cannot and judge me for my looks instead of my (lack of) character.

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