Suits Power Rankings: Blind-Sided

Hey everybody, Suits is back! I'm very excited about this. Last time this show was on, I had to compare their best lawyers against the best from Franklin and Bash. But there's no FandB now, so it is time to strictly focus on Suits. This is also good, because Suits took a big step forward, while FandB took a big step back. As always, these are lawyer power rankings, so if you don't practice law, you don't make the list (sorry, Donna). To keep things fresh, I will add one spot at the end for the best contribution from a non-lawyer (you're welcome, Donna). Now onto the rankings:

1. Harvey Specter - He starts off by revealing that he's been spitting game at Zoe. After spitting, he does some shitting on Louis, because he is looking to make his life hell at every opportunity. Harvey doesn't bring flowers on dates, but he does love charming young nieces. Alas, his romance was not to be, because Zoe's brother has cancer. He puts Mike in his place for being a pussy, because Harvey crushes pussies. Not the strongest week, but he did enough to keep himself in the top spot.

2. Katrina Bennett - She's not messing around, as she comes out guns-a-blazin. She wants to take Harvey head-on, but she only said that to get a job with Pearson Hardman. Harvey laughs at her feeble plan until Mike messes everything up, and Harvey does end up hiring her. She had a plan, executed it poorly, but still won. Good for her.

3. Jessica Pearson - She is pissed about Mike Ross giving her headaches, because he never attended Harvard. She takes it out on Louis, just to show her dominance.

4. Harold Jakowski - Harold didn't make an appearance in this episode, but I don't want the world to forget how awesome he is. I hope Harold becomes Louis's associate.

5. Daniel Hardman - At least the law firm is not just called Pearson. That's a win for HARDMAN.

6. Zoe Lawford - Getting wooed by Harvey, but her brother is dying of cancer, so she has to adopt her niece. If she was a great lawyer, she could have at least negotiated a settlement with cancer. Harvey would totally beat cancer's ass in court.

7. Louis Litt - Spitting game at Female Louis, but he better bring his coconut oil, ski mask and duck tape. He get his his kinky on once he announces that "Punctuality is the best aphrodisiac." He found the associate of his dreams, but then he got treated like a bitch by Jessica, and then he lost his associate and his lady for being a bitch. Strong start, but a really awful ending for him. Louis needs to jump on the Harold train to recover for next week.

8. Mike Ross - Starts off smoking weed and banging married chicks. He is able to prove that Albert Chung is nothing but a no good thug who tags walls. Unfortunately, he is the worst negotiator ever, as the Chung family only wanted 20 grand, but he gave them 100 grand. Then he starts acting like a bitch, because his client gets high and hits graffiti artists with his car, like that's not America's pastime. He violates client-attorney privilege, but still doesn't get what he wanted. Then he turns down the half-naked lady in his bed to top everything off. Things really went downhill for Mike in this episode.

Best Non-Lawyer Performance
Rachel Zane - She's not a lawyer yet, so she qualifies for this lower list. She started off sad, because Mike bangs other chicks. Then she gets pissed at Mike for having an affair, because she had an affair too and apparently affairs are a bad idea. She claims that she is no goody-goody, and that Mike has no idea what he passed up on. One thing is for sure, I'm all boned up over here. Peace out.