The Evolution of Facebook Spam Accounts

Facebook is full of spam accounts. There are very few things I enjoy more than awkward attempts at looking and sounding like a real human being. Still, I mostly just ignore these random friend requests, but then I started to notice something that caught my eye.

At first, all of these Facebook spam accounts were scantily clad ladies that just really wanted to get to know me better. It was nice, but a little creepy, as there's some Pakistani dude, wait, is that racist? That might be racist. Um, I guess let's just make it some weirdo from Florida. Anyway, I had gotten used to ignoring ladies with big boobs trying to seduce me over the internet, but then the Facebook Spammers stepped up their game. Instead of a single lady, they have now started showing me hypothetical married chicks.

Now, I appreciate the change of pace, but how sad do these spammers think my life is? Like, my thought process would have to be:

Ooh, a friend request. It's from a lady. I don't know her, but she's married. I'm also married. Maybe we could chat about marriage stuff, you know, married people are real hard to find, so it's sure nice that a random one decided I would make a good friend. I think she would make a good friend too.

I mean shit, man. Maybe life isn't as wild as it used to be, but I'm still a dude. I mean, I don't want to be friends with random single ladies, but I also seriously don't want to be friends with married chicks. Like, at least single ladies still have wild stories. Being friends with a married lady would literally just be us sharing pictures of our respective dogs.

Actually, that doesn't sound so bad. Maybe I'll accept that friend request. I'm sure you're a real lady, Marriedbroad McGee.