The Andrew Dice Clay of the Alt-Right

I was scrolling through Twitter a couple weeks ago when I found something funny.

@ultimatederek @KrangTNelson hey fuck nuts, that's my woman and trust me... the sex is amazing. pic.twitter.com/wpMcUaDAY3

— 🐸Grant J. Kidney🐸 (@GrantJKidney) December 28, 2016

I had no idea who this person is, but the fact that he is arguing on the internet is never a good sign. Also, if you have to explicitly state that the sex you are having is the good sex, um, methinks the lady doth protest too much.

But since I was on the road traveling back to Florida after the holidays, I had some time to waste so I looked at this man's profile, and I was very happy that I did. Here is his profile: I am the Andrew Dice Clay of the #AltRight. http://

Oh, hell yeah! The neo-nazi version of DICE is exactly what I am looking for. I mean, the jokes would be on point.

"Muslim? What kind of guy you think I am? More like muslher, OH!"

Or, "Immigrants? More like ImmaGet me a fence and build a wall, BADA BOOM!"

Plus, the nursery rhymes would be amazing.

Hickory Dickory Dock
The only black life that matters is the Rock

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
All lives matter
Especially Blue.

But he didn't have any of that. His website was a bunch of nonsense that isn't even worth resposting. Like, it was offensive in its stupidity, but not so offensive that it was even funny ironically. It was just lazy and tired. I mean, I could do a better job of being the Diceman of the AltRight, just by being lewd, ignorant, and adding some rhymes. It's not that hard.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
Unfortunately, her cupboard was bare.
She must have run out of food stamps
And great Americans simply don't care...
Get a job, you lazy broad.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each with a message for Allah
Jill says you can lick my ass
Jack said it'll only cost a dollar, OH!

Aw shit, I think I just became the Andrew Dice Clay of the Alt-Right. God damnit.