I Went To Run the Jewels - My First Rap Show

I went to my first rap show a couple weeks ago. I'm not really a fan of rap. Most people say they like all types of music, but I would say that I dislike most types of music; that's why someone has to really stand out in order for me to enjoy it. The group that stood out to me was Run the Jewels. Let's face it, Run the Jewels is the most white guy approved rap group out there. I mean, one of the two guys, El-P, is a white guy, and Killer Mike was a huge Bernie Sanders supporter, which may make him even friendlier to white people. Even with that white friendliness, I'm not sure if I would know about them if Killer Mike didn't have a song called "Ric Flair," because that's the real reason I got into their music. But I gotta say, I was excited for a new experience, and it did not disappoint.

The concert was held at Jannus Live, an outdoor venue, in the middle of downtown St. Petersburg. It's great in that you get to be outside in January to enjoy the show, but it also means smoking is allowed. Some of it was even smoke from illegal drugs, so I knew that I was at a true rap bonanza.

We came cruising in for the first act, who was a rapper named Cuz. A lot of times these opening acts are just kind of something you sit through to get to the main act, but Cuz was awesome. He ended his act with a song called Pots and Pans, and I'm not sure how anyone could listen to this and not have it put a smile on their face.

For the past two weeks, I cannot help bu burst out with a, "Spray them pots and pans, (white guy mumble). Don't forget to wash your hands, (white guy mumble)" The man even gave out his cell phone number so the crowd could text him. Cuz was great, and he left the crowd wanting more.

Next up was Gangsta Boo. She was no Cuz, but she was still pretty solid although predictable. She started talking to us about her ex-boyfriend before revealing that she had, GASP, wrote a song about him. I leaned over to my wife and said, "I bet he has a small penis." Sure enough, she rapped about him having a small dick. Her most valuable contribution was using "ho" as a term of empowerment, so now I can go around calling women hoes, because it's, like, actually a compliment.

Next up was a DJ named The Gaslamp Killer. I have never watched a DJ perform, and honestly, I'd be fine if I never did so again. This is nothing against Mr. Killer, as I feel like he did the best possible job of putting on a show as a DJ, but it is just not my jam in any way, shape, or form.

Then they put in like a 45 minute break before Run the Jewels started. This part really sucked, and I was kidn of hoping Mr. Killer would spin some more tunes, because it got pretty agonizing, especially for a Tuesday night when this old man has a bed time.

Finally, Run the Jewels came out and spit hot fire. I mean, there's really not much I can offer beyond most of their songs are ideal to get you pumped up, so you just felt a constant pump throughout the entire concert. Did I bob my head and raise my hands like the awkward white guy that I am? You bet your ass I did, but I was too into the music to feel that white guy awkwardness, and for me, that is a win. I give Run the Jewels one pistol hand aiming at one closed fist up.