Things Women Should Stop Doing

Twitter is great for many reasons. It helped me stay updated on the World Series so I knew if it was a close game late so I could actually watch it (Needless to say, I didn't watch much of the World Series). It also keeps me updated on what Jose Canseco is up to, and as readers of UW know, that is something that I am very concerned about. But they also have these tags that give you a great scope of where we are as a society. I decided to look at the recent tag of #ThingsWomenShouldStopDoing. I thought it would provide great examples of what this world has become, and I think it did, but judge for yourself.

DaddyStroke_20 Gods Son

#ThingsWomenShouldStopDoing thinking every nigga just wanna fuck.

Only reason I’m showing you this one is that half of the tweets regarding this subject dropped an N-Bomb in there somewhere. I would say a third had the word fuck. I also really enjoyed how his Twitter name is DaddyStroke_20, but for his actual name he put “Gods Son.” And after all that, he tweeted this gem.

Ninjahood P-hizzo

#thingswomenshouldstopdoing actin God stop making vagina after he made yours

I’ll admit, I laughed out loud when I first read this one. Sure it’s semi-illiterate, but he gets his point across in an easy enough manner, and I found this one thoroughly enjoyable. Also, imagine if it was true. What if you were the lady with the world’s newest vagina? How would you use this to your advantage? I think this is going to be my new Mystery-like opener when I approach women at bars. It’s either that, or I’ll wear a boa.

sweetie_brandi - $ Brandiiii(:

#thingswomenshouldstopdoing thinking making babies with niggas will make them stay, newsflash !!! it'll make them leave quicker. dumb ass !

Women be shoppin…for baby daddies.

Along those lines, there were literally thousands that were women should stop doing blah blah blah, that’s why you can’t keep a man. I’m going to start telling girls that really inconsequential things that they do are the reasons they can’t keep a man.

BedStuyGab Bedstuy Gab

#thingswomenshouldstopdoing having #WolfPuss! Shave that shit hoe! You don't want niggas wit a jungle down there so trim yours too!

Definitely the MVP of this tagline. I really didn’t think anything could top browning out as my favorite term of the week, but WolfPuss is absolutely brilliant. And yes, I clicked on that tagline to see if anybody else was talking about WolfPuss. Unfortunately, I did not find any other results. I am going to definitely see how casually I can drop wolfpuss into conversations.

Mr_Rashad Rashad J

#thingswomenshouldstopdoing asking if they pussy is good after sex like we going to say its okay. so we cant get none no more.

I obviously like this one because it’s incredibly lewd, but that’s not the best thing about it. The best part about it is saying this tweet out loud. Do not change a word. I really like the “they pussy” part, but the ending is absolutely brilliant, “so we can’t get none no more.” A triple negative. That is incredibly insightful writing, and I honestly don’t know if I will ever be able to actually pull off a triple negative. Congrats Mr_Rashad.

rellblack rell louis

#thingswomenshouldstopdoing don't let a guy fuk u n then 10mins later talkin about he rape u n shit that's not a gud look @ all

1. This was the first thing that Rell Louis thought about when this topic came up.
2. Doesn’t this necessarily mean that this has happened to him before?
3. It seems to me that this guy should be in jail.
4. Ladies, please stay away from him, and don’t be afraid to accuse someone who raped you of rape, even it isn’t a “gud” look on you.
5. Since I do have the looks to turn lesbians straight and straight guys gay, Rell Louis, please do not try to “fuk” me.

So that's where we are at as a society. Yep.

-Joe

P.S. Hey dumbasses talking about voting, hate to break it to you, but Mountain Dew already picked its new flavor. Voting ended a while ago.

P.P.S. NBA League Pass is free for the first week of the season, so I decided to take advantage by watching the Bulls-Pistons game on Saturday night. After watching Brian Scalabrine flail around the court for way too long and the Bulls being down 15 going into the fourth quarter, I finally decided to cut my losses and turn the game off. That's when the Bulls went on a 34-9 run to win the game by ten. Some would say I only have myself to blame, but I am putting 100% of the blame on Scalabrine. Fucking gingers.