Jose Canseco Makes Hits On and Off the Field

I'm going to try to keep this post short, because unless you share my unhealthy obsession with Jose Canseco, these updates may be a little too much for you.  Still, Jose has been dropping bombs (and hitting bombs), so let's get to it.

JoseCanseco Tomorrow I am going to put up a video of me hitting off of an iron mike throwing around 94 miles per hour,so sandy alderson can see
For those who are unaware, Sandy Alderson is the General Manager of the New York Mets.  He was also the General Manager of the Oakland Athletics when Jose was tearing it up with big power and big speed back in the late 80s and early 90s.  Jose feels like the two are really close friends.  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Sandy Alderson isn't going to be returning Jose's phone calls anytime soon.  But that's okay.  It's his loss as I discussed a few days ago.  Besides, Jose has made many claims in the past, but he's never given us video evidence of it...until now.

Boom bitches.  If Stephen Strasburg thought that Tommy John surgery hurt, imagine how bad it's going to feel when Jose takes him deep in his first start back.  If pitchers expect to fire the heat past Jose, they've got another thing coming.  Still, even Jose knows that baseball is out to ruin his life for exposing steroids users and saving the game, so he does have a backup plan in case no major league team picks him up.

JoseCanseco I am looking for active or x major leaguers to be in a comedy movie acting as themselves,if interested email me at. Jc7264@yahoo.com
Yes...Yes...YES!  Some people get excited about movies like Avatar, Harry Potter, or Mean Girls (I'll admit, I saw it opening night), but this movie is my wet dream.  A comedy where Jose Canseco and other baseball players carry it with their acting chops and comedic timing.  Sign me up!  Jose, I'm not sure where you are at with this project, but if this is just an idea, and you need somebody to write a script; it would be an honor to help you out.  I'll do the work pro bono as it is definitely for the greater good of society. Jose, if we work together, I promise that we will make Schindler's List look like Scarecrow Gone Wild.

-Joe

P.S.  If anybody's looking for a West Coast Dance move to try this weekend, here's Too Cold Scorpio showing you how to Step.