Jenkem: A Shitty High

I am absolutely fascinated at the lengths that people will go to just to get messed up. I really thought that i-Dosing would be the weirdest thing way that people were getting high, but Jenkem takes a shit on that idea. During a fantasy baseball e-mail exchange, a friend notified me of this new huffing phenomenon that was able to get people high. They have moved past huffing glue, paint, or Pam, and have moved onto something much more vile.

Jenkem, or as the kids are calling it, butt hash, is the act of mixing urine and fecal matter into a bottle. You then put a balloon over the top of the bottle and wait. When the gas fills up the balloon, you carefully remove it from the bottle and huff the gas giving you a pooptastic high that is similar to cocaine with hallucinations. Jenkem sounds like the shit.

Fox News, always reliable, reported this story:

I know what you're thinking: Who would huff their own poop? As much as I wish I could tell you differently, the answer is apparently very few people. A New Zealand news report proves it as a myth, although some idiot teenagers did try it after seeing the news report, because teenagers are dumb and easily influenced.

Although the fact that this is a myth is very disappointing, you can still show your friends the Fox News report and try to trick them into trying it. They probably won't get high, but I'm assuming you'll see some hilarious projective vomit.

-Joe

P.S. Although Jenkem is a myth, Derrick Rose's greatness is not. Here is an excellent story about Derrick Rose growing up.