1. Daniel Hardman - HARDMAN makes Louis senior partner, which actually makes sense, because he, like everyone else in the firm, wins all of his cases. But he also informs Louis to keep it a secret so he can have the winning edge when they vote for managing partner at the next meeting. That is the definition of playing by your own rules, and I absolutely love it. Jessica tries to call out HARDMAN, but HARDMAN is cocky as hell about everything, so he don't give a what about anything Jessica has to say. Louis confronts HARDMAN about making him the fall guy, but HARDMAN just tells him the truth as calm as can be. Then he makes himself look like a changed man who cares about Louis. He is playing chess while others are playing checkers. HARDMAN is playing Louis like a fiddle, and it is some really beautiful work.
2. Peter Bash - Unfortunately, Bash is not a lawyer, so he should not qualify for these rankings. But since that was a technicality, I feel like I can keep him in the rankings as a technicality. Bash got a letter saying that he can't practice law, but that can't keep him off the rankings, because everybody knows that Franklin and Bash only PLAY law. Practice is for sissies. He's still going to represent for his boy from high school, Tommy Dale, who is running for governor. Bash is a witness and just when they think they have them on the ropes, he reveals that there was infidelity in the gubernatorial candidates' marriage, but it was his wife...with the campaign manager's wife. This is what I mean when I say that Bash plays law. He don't need no practice, not when lesbian actions are involved. Bash then uses "country hardball" to get Tommy Dale a new campaign manager. The guys save the day by throwing a party and finally inviting the partners. They also flew the flight attendants back to the party, because of course they did.
2. Peter Bash - Unfortunately, Bash is not a lawyer, so he should not qualify for these rankings. But since that was a technicality, I feel like I can keep him in the rankings as a technicality. Bash got a letter saying that he can't practice law, but that can't keep him off the rankings, because everybody knows that Franklin and Bash only PLAY law. Practice is for sissies. He's still going to represent for his boy from high school, Tommy Dale, who is running for governor. Bash is a witness and just when they think they have them on the ropes, he reveals that there was infidelity in the gubernatorial candidates' marriage, but it was his wife...with the campaign manager's wife. This is what I mean when I say that Bash plays law. He don't need no practice, not when lesbian actions are involved. Bash then uses "country hardball" to get Tommy Dale a new campaign manager. The guys save the day by throwing a party and finally inviting the partners. They also flew the flight attendants back to the party, because of course they did.
3. Jared Franklin - Franklin dropped, approximately, 67 one liners in this episode. It was like the writers had all of these lines they wanted to use in the season and realized they had only used 11 of the 78 they had written, so they just let Jared have at it. He was burning people nonstop. He recovered from the awful one liners by getting drunk and raising havoc on the Franklin flight. Since they are equity partners, they can't be fired, so they may as well live it up. The guys both get arrested, but no big deal, they don't just know lawyers, they have lawyer friends.
4. Jessica Pearson - She is in an absolute war with HARDMAN on who will take over the firm. She makes Harvey be nice to Louis. Jessica's go to line is, "I send you to do one thing, and you can't do it," every time she tells Harvey to do something. That doesn't work if you use it every time you need something. She was going to try to play nice, but she got her panties in a bunch, and then made Louis shit his with a threat that she would curb stomp him if she voted against him. Okay, so maybe those were not her exact words, but it was definitely implied, and that kind of street lawyerin' is something to be respected.
5. Harvey Specter - Harvey begs to get Donna back, and she does, because, sadly, she seems to have no other options. His big case is defending an asshole sports broadcaster, where all the broadcaster has to do is apologize and the whole thing is over. Obviously, the broadcaster won't apologize, so it turns into a whole big mess that I will talk about later. He also has to try to buddy up to Louis, because Jessica makes him, but he fails at that plan. He should have used that Roger Maris's record breaking bat to break some rules, as he played by the rules the entire episode. It was not Harvey's strongest week.
6. Mike Ross - Michael is getting a place for his grandma, but let's face it, he's only doing that to help him pick up chicks and it totally worked on Rachel.
Now that we have that nice little story out of the way, this is the time where I rant about how awful it is when shows try to get into sports, and only show that they don't know what the hell they are talking about. So this baseball player named Solis took steroids but had other players take his drug test. That is ridiculous and would never, ever, ever, ever ever ever, work. The guy who knew would have to testify, but at that point, it would be one man's word versus another. This would get dragged out in court for at least two years, in which Solis may have to take a drug test, which he could easily pass. That means he could slowly ween himself off of steroids and have a natural decline as a player ages without anyone being the wiser. And that is only if you think that steroids have a huge impact on players. There is probably an impact, but it is not going to turn a AAA player into a superstar. Of course, Mike gets Roberto Solis to retire in the prime of his career to save his reputation, which no MLB player would ever do. Diatribe over.
Finally, my condolences to Mike for the passing of his grandma. She was an all-time great airline employee, and although I knew she was never going to see that apartment, I was still bummed when she died. I hope Mike finds his other grandma, who is just the same lady wearing glasses.
6. Mike Ross - Michael is getting a place for his grandma, but let's face it, he's only doing that to help him pick up chicks and it totally worked on Rachel.
Now that we have that nice little story out of the way, this is the time where I rant about how awful it is when shows try to get into sports, and only show that they don't know what the hell they are talking about. So this baseball player named Solis took steroids but had other players take his drug test. That is ridiculous and would never, ever, ever, ever ever ever, work. The guy who knew would have to testify, but at that point, it would be one man's word versus another. This would get dragged out in court for at least two years, in which Solis may have to take a drug test, which he could easily pass. That means he could slowly ween himself off of steroids and have a natural decline as a player ages without anyone being the wiser. And that is only if you think that steroids have a huge impact on players. There is probably an impact, but it is not going to turn a AAA player into a superstar. Of course, Mike gets Roberto Solis to retire in the prime of his career to save his reputation, which no MLB player would ever do. Diatribe over.
Finally, my condolences to Mike for the passing of his grandma. She was an all-time great airline employee, and although I knew she was never going to see that apartment, I was still bummed when she died. I hope Mike finds his other grandma, who is just the same lady wearing glasses.
7. Louis Litt - Louis made senior partner, and you best believe he is going to live it up. Louis did something that I really want to incorporate, and that is doing a spin while casually walking down the hallway. Also pointing to girls asses and asking random people for high-fives is pretty money as well. He was really the center of attention of the episode, but he was rarely the center of any scene. It was always what Harvey, HARDMAN, and Jessica were doing in regards to him, but hey, spins, high-fives, and ass points still earn you points on these rankings.
8. Roger Dempsey - He is looking to get Infeld-Daniels dissolved, because Franklin and Bash never invited him to their "legendary" parties. When he finally does get invited, he spends the entire night in the hot tub. Classic Dempsey. He may be my new favorite lawyer at Infeld-Daniels.
9. Harold - He is about to get a tattoo with his bonus money. Although he never stated it, I'm guessing he is blowing the rest on hookers and coke.
8. Roger Dempsey - He is looking to get Infeld-Daniels dissolved, because Franklin and Bash never invited him to their "legendary" parties. When he finally does get invited, he spends the entire night in the hot tub. Classic Dempsey. He may be my new favorite lawyer at Infeld-Daniels.
9. Harold - He is about to get a tattoo with his bonus money. Although he never stated it, I'm guessing he is blowing the rest on hookers and coke.
10. Brock Daniels - He could swing the vote one way or the other, but he's busy delivering horses by reaching all up inside of them. Then decided to screw over everybody so he could go fly fishing. I was going to hold that against him, but that is hella playing by your own rules.
11. Hanna Linden - Hanna admitted to keeping a file, but it was cool, because she was showing major cleavage, so all is good. She also is a Facebook investigator and found that Brock Daniels was going to vote for Leonard Franklin's buyout. I hope she remembered to like his status.
11. Hanna Linden - Hanna admitted to keeping a file, but it was cool, because she was showing major cleavage, so all is good. She also is a Facebook investigator and found that Brock Daniels was going to vote for Leonard Franklin's buyout. I hope she remembered to like his status.
12. Stanton Infeld - He might lose his firm, so he trusts Franklin and Bash to save it for him, because they are pretty much the greatest lawyers ever. Although I need to give props to him breaking into Elton John's post-Oscar parties, his best lie was that he was backup goalie on the 72 Swiss Olympic hockey team. He made Franklin and Bash super sad when they found out that he only hired them as a poison pill for his own company, but then he crashed their party, so all was forgiven.
Franklin and Bash are now done, so it will strictly be a Suits rankings for their final episode. Remember, lawyers, play by your own rules, and one day, you can make this illustrious list.
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