My First MLS Game

I went to my first MLS game this past weekend as Orlando City SC took on FC Dallas. This writing is probably the first time I have actually gotten the team names correct. So, as you could probably guess, I am not much of a soccer fan.

Even though I'm not a soccer fan, I am enough of a sports fan that I have at least enough knowledge to carry on a conversation about the sport. Because of my limited knowledge about soccer, I decided to look up the rosters of the two teams to see how many guys I knew. The answer was one. Kaka was on Orlando City, and I only knew him from my days of playing FIFA 2002. I remember Kaka being awesome, so I was pretty excited to see him play. Of course, I found out when we got there that he had a red card in the previous game, so he wouldn't be playing. You really dropped the ball on that one, soccer.

Still, there are good things about attending a soccer matchup. The best thing about soccer is the size of the players. As someone who stands just 5'9", I enjoy that I can relate to players who are actually my size. Also, since soccer isn't a real sport, their total lack of athleticism also makes them easier to relate to...just kidding soccer fans. They are real athletes, as was evident from this 5'4" guy on Dallas who was quick as shit. With a guy that small and that quick, I decided that he was my favorite player, so congratulations on that Michael Barrios.

But to me, soccer is a game of almost-exciting moments. You'll see a guy streaking down the field with the ball, but he won't be able to get the ball centered in any meaningful way, so there isn't really any legitimate shot at a goal. You'll see a big pass down the field that gets intercepted by the defense and slowly moved in the opposite direction. There are the occasional moments that lead to shots on goal, but those are almost always missed, so you're left waiting for a climax.

Basically what I'm saying is soccer is the sports world's version of soaking. There's nothing wrong with that, but since I am an adult, I have a finite time for sports, and soccer just isn't going to make the cut for me. Still, it was a fine experience, and I would recommend giving it a try. It's a good chance to get outside and soak in the sun; just don't count on climaxing.