2019 WWE Brawl For All: Akam vs. Curtis Axel

After going through many stupid fantasy drafts with Jonah, this one is undoubtedly are dumbest. Brawl for All, a truly terrible idea that was terrible to watch and made no business sense, is one of Vince McMahon's most embarrassing failures. But what if it happened in 2019? Jonah demanded that we do a draft and debate how this would go and limited it to wrestlers who are not active in storylines currently since the original Brawl For All was certainly not set up with superstars. We went big and put in 16 guys in the bracket, eight picks for each side.

Today is the #1 overall pick in the draft, Akam of the Authors of Pain taking on a "perfect" opponent, Curtis Axel.

Jonah’s #1 Akam vs. Joe’s #8 Curtis Axel

Jonah: The first pick was either going to be Akam or Rezar, I went with Akam because he is a celebrated amateur wrestler. He’s a three time Candian national wrestler, a gold medalist in the Canada Summer Games, a prospect for the 2012 Olympics who lost a qualifying match and a prospect for the 2016 Olympics before he went to the WWE. He’s also a really big guy, I assume he packs quite a wallop in his punches. Curtis Axel seems like another guy who’s surprisingly tough. He’s got decent size and is probably an OK amateur wrestler, I know he trained with Brock Lesnar to get him ready for the WWE. Unfortunately, he’s just overmatched here by size and wrestling ability. Akam has to win this one on takedowns alone. 

Joe: But Curtis Axel is at least 50% perfect. You have to admit this is going to be a major issue for Akam. What if his right knee is perfect, and he sprints across the ring and throws a perfect flying knee to knock out Akam in five seconds? If Akam gets knocked out in five seconds, you’ve got to give the edge to Axel, agreed?

Jonah: No, and you really seem to be confused about the rules of Brawl For It All, no knee strikes. Axel is spending the entirety of this fight on his back.

Joe: So, are you admitting that Axel would knock out Akam if he broke the rules and threw a running knee? If so, I will gladly take the DQ loss here.

Jonah: I think Axel would simply anger Akam if he hit a running knee. He also might be caught mid air and slammed through the mat.

Joe: Damn, my only hope is that you would fall into my trap of letting Axel get DQed by illegal knee, and then I would use concussion protocol to end Akam’s run in the tournament. Ugh, I guess Akam will just have a healthy advancement to the second round.

Next time, it's a battle to see who takes on Akam, featuring two former B1G Wrestlers.