Silly Cyclones, Championships Are For Hawkeyes

Iowa State's Swim Team That Helped Them Win The Cy-Hawk Trophy

Yesterday, I found out that Iowa State had won the Hy-Vee Cy-Hawk Trophy. Congratulations Cyclones, you won a trophy nobody cares about. The Hy-Vee Cy-Hawk Trophy is an absolute joke as it gives credit to sports that nobody cares about.

It awards three points to football, and two points to ALL other sports. Let's face it, there are four sports that should count in the state of Iowa, football, basketball, wrestling, and baseball. Otherwise, nobody gives a shit. Hence, I am creating the Hott Joe Iowa Domination Trophy that only includes the four major sports. Let's go over the results:

Football - Iowa 35, Iowa State 3
An absolute beatdown, highlighted by this man:


Score - Hawkeyes 2, Cyclones 0

Men's Basketball - Iowa State 81, Iowa 71
Nice job, Cyclones, you beat a team that plays John Lickliter, but you still couldn't beat the spread. What pussies.

Score - Hawkeyes 2, Cyclones 1

Wrestling - This is where things get interesting as Iowa has beaten Iowa State not once, but twice already this season by scores of 18-16 and 19-12 (They sound close only because Iowa did not have some of their starters during those meets). Not only did they win these two dual meets, but they also dominated the Midlands Tournament that Iowa State participated in. That is three beatdowns of the Cyclones so far this year, and let's face it, another one is coming at the NCAA Tournament, because the Hawkeyes are going to win another National Championship. I'll give them that point too since it's a foregone conclusion.

Score - Hawkeyes 6, Cyclones 1

Men's Baseball - Oh, that's right, Iowa State lost their program because of Title IX. Sounds like another one for the good guys.

Score - Hawkeyes 7, Cyclones 1

Not surprisingly, Iowa dominated, but even this domination is going to pale in comparison to what is about to happen to the Cyclones. With how shitty Iowa State is at everything, they really don't belong in a real conference like the Big 12. Once the Big Ten takes whatever team(s) they want, Iowa State will probably be forced to join the Missouri Valley Conference (MAC if they're lucky). I can't wait for the battle for ISU, Iowa State vs. Illinois State.

Damn it feels good to be a Hawkeye.

-Joe

P.S. I looked up Iowa Hawkeye Girls and Iowa State Cyclone Girls on Google Images. Most of the pictures for Iowa had tits prominently involved, most of the pictures for ISU had Iowa State's football team involved.