The 5 Most Important Iowa Hawkeyes Who Could Declare For The NFL Draft

The Iowa Hawkeyes somehow managed to show a tremendous amount of skill yet have an incredibly disappointing season this past year. They showed they could blow the doors off teams, but also showed that if they were in a close game, they would make that one mistake that would cost them at the worst possible time. It was so frustrating and yet I look at this team, and I would feel totally confident picking them to win the Big Ten West if everyone returned next year. The problem is there is close to a zero percent chance of that happening. I would say there are five guys who could at least consider the possibility, so let's rank them to see who Iowa most needs to come back for their success in 2019.

5. Noah Fant
I hate doing this, because Noah Fant is awesome. He came in as a true freshman, and it was like holy shit, that guy owns. The his sophomore year, he made a massive leap and set a record for touchdowns by a tight end. Even though he nearly matched those numbers this past season, it was still seen as a disappointment as he could have done so much more. Unfortunately, Iowa did not find the right fit for him, and although that seems incredibly stupid, "That's football." Since Iowa does not know how to best utilize him and (SPOILER ALERT) there is another person at this same position later in the list, I can't put him any higher than fifth on the list even though he will probably be the first guy off the board in the draft if all of these guys declared.

4. Nate Stanley
If Stanley leaves, what does Iowa have at quarterback? No freaking clue, but what Iowa needs at quarterback is not greatness but consistency. Stanley has shown far more greatness and consistency, and it leads to games like Penn State where an average performance is likely enough to get the Hawkeyes the win. There is a chance that although Iowa would be less talented at the position next year, they could still have a better record. There is also a chance that this puts Stanley way too low on the list, and there could be a massive dropoff without him. I feel like it's closer to the former than the latter so that is why he is only fourth on this list.

3. Anthony Nelson
This may seem high for Nelson as Iowa has AJ Epenesa ready to take over one starting defensive end spot and would seemingly be fine with Chauncey Golston taking over the other, but a lot of the strength of this year's defensive line has been their depth. They already need some new faces to show they can play at the interior of the defensive line, so keeping depth at defensive end is very important. With Nelson and Epenesa starting with Golston giving them a breather, the Hawkeyes would again have the best defensive end situation in the Big Ten. The defensive line has always been what makes the entire defense great at Iowa so here's to hoping that Anthony Nelson can hold off those NFL dreams for another year.

2. TJ Hockenson
So if Hockenson and Fant both go, this Iowa offense could be in some serious trouble. The tight ends made the offense go, and there was nobody I felt better about than Hockenson as he reliably got open and made the catch. He even occasionally leaped over people. So it will definitely hurt to not have those options. But when has Iowa not had a good tight end? Before Hockenson and Fant it was George Kittle, before him CJ Fiedorowicz, before him Tony Moeaki, then Brandon Myers, Scott Chandler, Dallas Clark, and Austin Wheatley. Hell, even before Ferentz got there, there was Iowa great, Scott Slutzker. I don't think I could be any more confident in Iowa finding a good option at than tight end. It's going to hurt, but there is hope that a tight end steps up, that Brandon Smith and Ihmir Smith-Marsette take a big step forward, and that my main man, Tyrone Tracy is the real deal.

1. Amani Hooker
Hooker was Iowa's Defensive MVP. The dude was all over the field, and I had mixed emotions when he won the award for best defensive back in the Big Ten. Like, yes, he deserves it, because the dude was phenomenal this year, but also could the Big Ten do me a favor and keep his dominance on the down low? Where Hockenson made me feel the best when Iowa threw to him, Hooker was the guy that I felt the best whether they were running toward him, passing toward him, or just letting him be anywhere near making a play, because I knew that he would. Iowa is already losing Jake Gervase, so safety depth is already at least somewhat of a question mark. Without Hooker back, it would leave a massive hole in the defense, because his versatility makes everyone around him better. For the Hawkeyes, I really hope he comes back.

That being said, with Hooker, and anyone listed above, if they can get paid, then get paid. Outside of Stanley, it's tough to see anybody significantly increasing their draft stock. And even though my heart would love to see the Hawkeyes run it back next year, my head knows that these guys have all given far more to the University of Iowa than they will ever get back, so if they can get paid, go ahead and make money. 

The WWE Is Ruining... Jinder Mahal

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today may be my toughest test yet as I study the Modern-Day Maharaja, Jinder Mahal.

Mahal actually has a fascinating story with the WWE. He was a midcard bad guy when he debuted, but then turned into a jobber comedy act with 3MB, and then he got fired, likely to never be seen again. Although some WWE wrestlers thrive in the independent environment, raise their stock, and have the WWE come crawling back (see Drew Galloway), Mahal really didn't do that. Instead he took some bookings in Canada, Puerto Rico, and India against some pretty nondescript talent.

Instead, he got his job back by appealing to Vince McMahon and got as jacked as humanly possible. Was he enhanced by supplements? There is visual evidence to suggest that he was, but in the Wellness Policy, we trust, and maybe he's just got incredible genetics.

Still, even though he came back comically jacked, it did not lead to victories. After winning his big comeback match against Heath Slater. He went 2-34 the rest of 2016.

Did he catch fire to start off 2017? You bet your ass he did, through May 11th, he went an incredible 9-47 as the man was on an incredible hot streak. This of course led to him beating AJ Styles on Smackdown before taking out Randy Orton to become the WWE Champion.

Surely, he would start winning at this point. In his next 25 matches, he was an incredible 6-19. The most hilarious part of this was that he was somehow STILL the WWE Champion.

He managed to hold onto his belt until November 7th before finally relinquishing the title to AJ Styles and going back to his old ways with a streak of 2-19.

Inexplicably, he won the US Title in 2018 before losing it a week later. As of this writing, his last two wins were against Braun Strowman, because the WWE doesn't care so why should I?

Clearly, Jinder is a victim of the Peter Principle. He was promoted beyond his abilities as a WWE Champion and the results were disastrous. He was still promoted beyond his abilities as US Champion, but at least it only took a week to end that experiment. So how should the WWE best utilize Jinder Mahal?

Here's the thing with Mahal: He has a great look. I know hardcore wrestling fans have steered towards the importance of that, but it does still matter. If somebody looks like they can kick ass, it's a lot easier to believe them kicking ass. The problem is that Mahal isn't all that good at wrestling. Like, he's very good, but in the WWE, which is the best of the best, he's one of the worst. So it's not like the guy is worthless, it's just he's worth less than the position the WWE has put him in.

So let's use him to help enhance other talent on the roster. I don't think a win over Mahal should lead someone to a World Title shot, really, not even a US Title Shot, and you could give him a partner, but them losing wouldn't propel a team to a tag title shot. So instead of boosting guys to title shots, he boosts guys to a new level in a different way. I want Jinder Mahal to take his skills to 205 Live and start challenging the Cruiserweight division.

Now I don't expect him to drop down to 205, although that would be hilarious. Instead, I see him acting as a bridge to get 205 Live talent on the main roster. Half of that roster is bigger than Finn Balor and Daniel Bryan, so it's not like they don't have the size to succeed on Raw or Smackdown; it more seems like the WWE hasn't figured out a way to make that transition.

Wouldn't it be awesome if Jinder Mahal comes to 205 Live, maybe to avenge a beating that was delivered to one of the Singh brothers. He could come out as the Big Bad Wolf, but get his shit blown up by Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, or Hideo Itami, and instantly, you have a reason to bring those guys to the main show and start competing as a heavyweight. I mean, you could start him off by having him smash guys like Jack Gallagher. He could have a match scheduled with Tony Nese, but they decide not to fight and just want to flex in front of mirrors together. The possibilities are limitless and incredibly exciting.

So yeah, Jinder Mahal should probably be a jobber, but make him a 205 Live jobber and really make it count.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Kane
Karl Anderson
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

3 Takeaways from the Iowa / Nebraska Game

I know I'm a little late this week, but there is still likely to be over a month before Iowa's next football game, so I think it's still timely enough. Anyway, it wasn't pretty, but at least Iowa got a win over Nebraska. Here are my big takeaways.

1. Mekhi Sargent Is The Man

Iowa has been going by a running back by committee approach this entire season. Sometimes it's Ivory Kelly-Martin, sometimes it's Toren Young, and other times, it's been Mekhi Sargent. As the season has gone on, Iowa has leaned more and more heavily on Sargent. Unfortunately, IKM has been battling injuries all season long. Toren Young is a good power back but Iowa coaches have not trusted him in the passing game. Luckily, Sargent has stepped up, and against Nebraska, he stepped up in a big way. He went for 173 rushing yards and two touchdowns and had teh big game from an Iowa running back that fans have been waiting for all season. His vision, quickness, and versatility in that he can fill any role you need from a back separates him from the pack, and I expect to see him as a big part of Iowa's bowl game.

2. TJ Hockenson Is The Best Tight End For Iowa

Before I get going, let me just say that I love Noah Fant. He's a freak of an athlete and should make a team very happy if he leaves school to ply his trade in the NFL. And although Fant is the most talented tight end on the roster, TJ Hockenson is the best tight end for the Iowa Hawkeyes. He's a better blocker, he consistently finds ways to get open, and he is more sure handed. Never was this more apparent than Iowa facing a fourth and eight with less than a minute to go while in Nebraska territory. They had plenty of options, but they chose to go for it, and they chose to throw it to Hockenson. It paid off as Hockenson caught the ball and two plays later, Miguel Recinos hit a game winning field goal as time expired. Yes, they should be using Fant more, but don't let it overshadow how great TJ Hockenson has been for the Hawkeyes.

3. Let's Appreciate Our Senior Defensive Linemen

AJ Epenesa had his one "holy shit" play, and Anthony Nelson was an absolute monster against Nebraska, but let's take a step back and appreciate the contributions of Matt Nelson and Parker Hesse, two seniors who were instrumental in filling a gap for Iowa's defensive line before helping build something special by the end of their time in Iowa City. Neither guy is a future first round pick, and honestly, I'm not sure if they will even be drafted at all. 

Parker Hesse ends the year with four sacks, a solid, yet unspectacular total, but the guy hustled his ass off and made some incredible plays in the running game. He was excellent at diagnosing plays which helped him outperform his athletic measurables.

Matt Nelson had even less impressive statistics, but he filled his role as the tallest defensive tackle in Hawkeye history (not looking this up, but it sounds right). Nelson only had one sack this season, but that was not his role for this defense. He was there to take up blockers and allow others to make plays. Had he stayed at defensive end, he may have been able to put up some decent numbers as he had five sacks in his sophomore year before moving inside. That just speaks to the type of player Nelson is. He is not built like a defensive tackle, but the team needed one so he moved inside and did the dirty work. Although Iowa has guys waiting in the wings, both of these guys will be missed in 2019.

The WWE Is Ruining... Andrade "Cien" Almas

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I want to talk about a personal favorite of mine, Andrade "Cien" Almas.

Almas made his name in his home country of Mexico, wrestling for CMLL while having a few stints in NJPW under the name and mask of La Sombra. In fact, La Sombra was a part of Los Ingobernales before there was ever such thing as a Los Ingobernales de Japon. Anyway, it turned out that he was not wearing a mask due to La Parka disease and is actually a handsome devil who was signed by the WWE and originally wrestled under his own name of Manny Andrade at the beginning of 2016.

On February 26 of that year, I saw the best match I have ever seen at an NXT house show when Sami Zayn and Andrade. Usually those matches are pretty bland, but those two decided to go out in the middle of the show and put on an absolute clinic. This was what started my Andrade fandom. A hilarious note about this show is that The Vaudevillains dominated two jobbers in Patrick Clark and Kenneth Crawford, aka Velveteen Dream and Montez Ford, the two guys who may have the highest ceilings of anyone in NXT.

Luckily, after about six months, his name was changed to Andrade "Cien" Almas since Manny Andrade is the most Mexican jobber name of all time. Shortly after that, he made his TV debut, beating Noah Ponjes, now known as "The Finest" Kona Reeves. He was up and down after that, getting built up only to lose big matches and then go spiraling back down the card. He wore suspenders and a stupid hat, but he was supposed to be a babyface, and it just didn't work.

Finally, instead of winning, he started losing. But instead of being disappointed about losing, he just didn't care and would just party with chicks after losing matches. Finally, Zelina Vega became his manager to set him straight, and he eventually won the NXT Championship at NXT Takeover in November of 2017.

Let me also remind you what his title reign was known for, and that is for retiring Johnny Gargano from NXT. Yo, Johnny Gargano is still cruising around NXT, and had he been retired, he never would have been able to attack Aleister Black, and Candice LeRae could have been Candice FREAKING LeRae instead of Mrs. Gargano. Although Aleister Black would end his title reign WrestleMania weekend, Almas was ready to debut on Smackdown shortly after that.

When he got to Smackdown, he did what any future superstar would do, and that's start a feud with Sin Cara. But after that, he's actually wrestled the best in the WWE with matches against AJ Styles, Daniel Bryan, and Rey Mysterio. He hasn't won any of them, but at least they're letting him wrestle really good wrestlers.

Honestly, it's too early to tell whether the WWE is ruining Andrade Almas. His NXT Title run was after a losing streak to some pretty unimpressive names. At least he's now losing to important names. If they just use him to have good matches with their top names, they are missing the boat, because even without fluent English, he has a star quality to him. I will say that Zelina Vega is incredibly important as a mouthpiece to help him get over early on, but even dumbass WWE fans should be able to see that this guy is the shit.

So what should the WWE do to help Almas fulfill his potential? I would say the biggest thing is don't do it half-assed. Even if Almas only gets wins over low-level talent for a while and loses to the big names, that's totally fine. But eventually, you have to give him that big surprise win over AJ Styles or Daniel Bryan, and then you need to be ready to put the rocket on him and just have him start whooping ass, finding ways to shock people for victories. I see no reason the guy can't be a World Champion, and he actually has the in-ring talent to put on memorable main event matches.

Oh, and if you could put him in a long-term feud with Sami Zayn, I certainly wouldn't be mad about it.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Kane
Karl Anderson
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

The WWE Is Ruining... Ember Moon

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, it is time to look at the person who may have the best finish in all of wrestling, Ember Moon.

Right now, Ember Moon is nothing. I know that's kind of harsh, but the WWE has done absolutely nothing with her since she arrived on the main roster. She has been around for over six months and has only lost twice in singles matches. Both losses are incredible in their own ways. One was to Ruby Riott which seems legit, but it happened on Main Event, which, come on, nobody watches Main Event; that's like losing on a house show. That means the only singles loss that people have seen is her loss to Sarah Logan. Really? No offense to Sarah Logan, but she has been booked as the bottom barrel female in the WWE. Like, if Sarah Logan took on Lana, would you really feel confident betting on Sarah Logan? I would not.

Meanwhile, she has some epic wins. She has beat Nia Jax, she has beat Alexa Bliss twice, and she even beat Mickie James with Nia Jax on commentary, not sure why that matters, but it has to dial up the degree of difficulty a bit. I do not remember any of these things happening. If she showed up on NXT, I wouldn't be totally sure whether she was on the main roster or was out with an injury. WWE is letting Ember Moon go to shit, WWE has somehow removed all toilets and pooping no longer exists in an Ember Moon world.

I used to write these the week of, just in case WWE made a big change with a character. With Ember Moon, my only thought was, "LOL, they aren't even sure if she's full time or enhancement talent." If she showed up in a cop outfit to try to stop Ronda Rousey, would you really be surprised? Hell, it might be the biggest push she has received since she got to the main roster.

Anyway, let's make a turn for this. Here's a crazy idea: Let Ember Moon wrestle and be awesome. She's shown some fire as a babyface on the mic, but let's face it, she's going to make her mark with wrestling, so just let her wrestle. The WWE used to be so shallow on women's talent that a great wrestler would not be enough to get someone over, but that is no longer the case. Matches against Bayley, Ruby Riott, and Sasha Banks need no storyline to captivate an audience. Tell a simple story, and boom, you have a PPV match that has the potential to steal the show.

As I've noted before, Ronda Rousey's presence complicates things in the Raw Women's Division. How do you believably beat the unbeatable? There are really only three people that I see as legitimate options to beat Rousey. Bayley, Sasha Banks, and Ember Moon. Now, I love Ember Moon, but she's probably in third place on this list. Still, she's in third place, and she has the most devastating finish in the WWE. Even if she isn't the one to take out Rousey, you can build that feud as Moon being one move away from taking away the invincibility of Rousey. Still, that's a far ways down the road, as right now, WWE just needs to let her have matches and remind people that "Hey, this woman is the shit and her finisher is bananas."

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Karl Anderson
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

4 Takeaways from the Iowa / Illinois Game

63-0 is a nice score. Yes, six more points would have been nicer, but let's just take this totally stress free and awesome win and enjoy the moment. 

In Your Face, Hawkeye Fans

Clearly, the Iowa coaching staff heard the complaints about a lack of usage for Noah Fant and Toren Young, so in the third drive, they decided to shove those two down our throat, and it proved the fans are all stupid idiots when Iowa easily scored a touchdown. Take that, Hawkeye fans. I think the latter is overblown as even though Young has the best yards per carry, I still think Mekhi Sargent is the best back. But not having Fant on the field in that loss to Northwestern was a crime. Not throwing to Fant is one thing, but just him being on the field will make it easier for other guys to get open. It appears the coaching staff has come to their senses, and it sets them up to smash Nebraska to end the season next week.

OMG, AJ Epenesa

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD (deep breath) OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD. AJ Epenesa is pretty good, right? He ended with eight tackles, 3.5 for loss, and 1.5 counting as sacks. He also had a pass defensed, a fumble recovery, and a touchdown. I've gotta say, it's pretty cool having a five-star recruit on the team. Physically, he is absolutely incredible, and he's starting to get more refined in his technique. He has the ability to take over a game, and he does it as a part-time player. For funsies, I decided to see what people thought of him for the 2020 NFL Draft, and it turns out he is not flying under the radar since he is already projected as the seventh overall pick, but at least we still have a year plus with him on our side. I plan on enjoying every snap of this experience.

Amani Hooker Is a Football Player

Amani Hooker had three tackles, one was for a loss, and one pass defensed. And even with that stat line, it jumped out that there is nobody that is more of a football player than Amani Hooker on this Iowa team. Epenesa and Fant are the most talented on their respective sides of the ball, but when it comes to instincts and always making the right decision and being in the right spot, there is nobody that touches Amani Hooker on this team. He is the guy that most reminds me of Desmond King in his incredible instincts out there. His stats don't jump off the page, and it appears he isn't considered much of a prospect as the only real projection I saw for him was the 13th best strong safety for the 2020 NFL Draft. Thank God people don't realize how good he is, because Hooker is what makes this defense so potent. It's easier to enjoy Epenesa, but watching Hooker is just as satisfying.

New Kirk Is The Hot Chick

New Kirk is great. He goes for it on fourth down, he doesn't punt when he is on his opponent's side of the field, and he even embraces trick plays. But New Kirk doesn't totally understand this new change. Basically, he's the teenage girl that switches bodies with an adult in a movie. Old Kirk is like, oh neato, not punting can be pretty exciting. Going for it on fourth and short is neato. But the child always runs into adult body problems that they did not expect. I mean, we all remember the cinematic classic, The Hot Chick. It was very jarring for Rachel McAdams to have Rob Schneider's body. This is New Kirk. He will often call timeouts at the end of the first half, even though he still won't have enough time to get the ball back. And then, when he was about to enter halftime up 35-0, he called a fake victory formation fumblerooski play just because he could. It was totally pointless, absolutely hilarious, and it's just New Kirk's version of how weird it is to have body hair. 

Come back next week to learn how Dalton Ferguson is actually a lot like Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo (obviously Parker Hesse would be the original Deuce Bigalow). 

Let's Talk About the 2019 Iowa Hawkeyes Wrestling Team

Last weekend, I flew up to northeast Ohio to see the Iowa Wrestling team take on Cal State Bakersfield and Kent State to open up their season. My wife may say that I flew up to Ohio for our baby shower, but there wasn't a chance I was flying up to the cold and snow unless I got to see some wrestling while I was there. Iowa predictably dominated their two meets, winning 19 of 20 matches, and doing it while not wrestling three of their starters. Here are some quick notes after the first weekend on what to expect the rest of the year.

125 - Spencer Lee
Lee got two tech falls, each of which occurred in the first period. It already seems like a foregone conclusion that he's going undefeated on his way to his second National Title this year. Honestly, I would be surprised if anybody held him to a regular decision, as I see him scoring bonus points in every single match this season. He's on such a different level than any other wrestler at 125, so sit back and enjoy the show.

133 - Austin DeSanto
DeSanto transferred from Drexel last year after a controversial Freshman season. Although some people from other teams may not like his attitude, it's kind of nice having him on our side as all he wants to do is win. Hell, he even stopped Spencer Lee from four state titles in their final high school match. The big takeaway is the guy has a motor, and he's going to be aggressive for all seven minutes of every match that he is in. In the first match, he tech falled a top-20 wrestler early in the second period. In the second match, he got down early, but eventually wore his opponent down and controlled the match in the end. He's going to be fun to watch, but he's probably a level below the top three guys at this weight.

141 - Max Murin
Murin redshirted last season and ended up breaking two bones in his face during a practice halfway through the season. I saw an interview where he couldn't stop laughing about breaking two bones in his face; that would not be my reaction to breaking any bones anywhere, so I can confirm that Max Murin is tougher than me. Also, he looked great in his first two matches of the year. He won by 14 points in both matches which is both great and super aggravating (get one more for the tech, Max). I really think Murin is going to surprise people this year as he is strong, quick, and his technique looked great. I think he has all the tools to be an All-American in his first year, and I'm very excited to see him develop.

149 - Patricio Lugo
Lugo had the lone blemish on Iowa's opening weekend as he lost a close match to the wrestler from Cal State Bakersfield. It was a very disappointing result, and I feel like Lugo might be a wrestler that could beat anybody but could also lose to guys that he should beat. He does a lot of upper body work, because he's built like a fire hydrant, so he will occasionally get big moves, like the pin against Kent State or struggle to get to his offense like what happened in his first match. He's scheduled to take on the #1 ranked guy in the nation in Matt Kolodzik from Princeton this weekend. Last year, Lugo won their match, so it will be interesting if he can bring some chaos to 149, which I think is one of the weakest weight classes in the nation this year.

157 - Kaleb Young
I am very excited to see what Kaleb Young can finally do as a starter this season. He looked very strong during his redshirt season at 165 but was overshadowed by super prospect, Alex Marinelli. Then, he tried his luck up at 174 but barely lost out to Joey Gunther. Now, instead of being undersized at 174, he's looking svelte at 157. He dominated his opponents, even getting a pin in his second match, so it will be very interesting to see how the new weight treats him as the season goes along. It's a tough weight class, but I think Young has the talent to compete for All-American status.

165 - Alex Marinelli
Marinelli made it very clear why they call him The Bull, as he ran through his opponents. He looks bigger this season, so the question becomes how much he can improve on last year's sixth place finish. He's beaten two-time defending champion, Vincenzo Joseph before, but he's also been dominated by second-ranked Evan Wick, so we really won't know about his progress until much later in the season.

174 - Michael Kemerer
Kemerer was the first of three starters that did not wrestle at this meet, but Myles Wilson looked like a capable backup with two victories. The big question with Kemerer will be how he adjusts to switching to a weight class that is 17 pounds heavier than he has wrestled the previous two seasons. The top two guys at this weight, Zahid Valencia and Mark Hall, are two of the best wrestlers at any weight class. I have always been a huge fan of Kemerer, but even I have trouble seeing him wrestling on Saturday night at the NCAAs at the new weight class.

184 - Cash Wilcke
Wilcke is making the opposite move from Kemerer as he is dropping 13 pounds from 197 to wrestle at 184 this year. This move makes a ton of sense as Wilcke was always undersized at 197. He managed to make the Round of 12 the past two years despite a significant size disadvantage so I see no reason he can't improve on his results this season. 184 is another weak weight class, so I fully expect Wilcke to be an All-American this season. But as I've said before, we won't know much about Wilcke until much later in the season as Iowa has an incredibly weak schedule that won't provide many challenges.

197 - Jacob Warner
Warner also did not wrestle this weekend, mostly so Iowa had a reason to keep him away from second-ranked Kyle Conel, from Kent State. This ended up not mattering as Conel reaggravated a shoulder injury during his match against Cal State Bakersfield so he was unable to compete against the Hawkeyes. Instead, Iowa sent out Mitch Bowman in the first match and Connor Corbin for the second. Bowman was wrestling up a weight but kept a high pace and looked impressive despite a size disadvantage. Corbin will be a solid backup, but Iowa needs Warner in the starting lineup to be dangerous at this weight. The weight has Bo Nickal at the top, but a lot of beatable guys beyond that. Warner showed he can compete with anybody, even dominating the current fifth-ranked wrestler, Willie Miklus, during his redshirt season last year. He's a guy who puts up big points, and I'm looking forward to seeing him make his official debut this weekend.

Heavyweight - Sam Stoll
Stoll was the final Iowa wrestler that did not wrestle this weekend, but at least he had a hilarious excuse as he was shot in his leg. He claimed that he shot himself in the leg, but then he was charged with falsifying a police report, so there's a good chance that somebody else did it (allegedly Vince Turk, but outside of his matching suspension, I have no evidence). Anyway, all the top heavyweights graduated, so Sam Stoll enters the season ranked #1. Sam Stoll has had terrible luck throughout his college career. Injuries near the end of the season derailed his first two years, but he finally was healthy and manged to become an All-American last year. So this year he gets shot in the leg to start the year. I don't think he'll go start to finish as number one, but he'll wrestle close with anybody, and here's to hoping that his luck finally comes together during that one weekend that matters in March.

It's a really exciting time to be an Iowa wrestling fan as this team has potential at every weight class and the best guy at any weight class in Spencer Lee. Penn State is going to be tough to beat, but if anybody can do it, it's gonna be the Hawkeyes. 

My Shinesty NFL Jacket Is On Point

Through my seven years of blogging, it has been quite the lucrative endeavor. I have managed to get a deep fryer, $40, and now a Chicago Bears suit jacket for my troubles. It's true what they say, Blogger = Baller. The good people at Shinesty saw that I like to talk about football and offered to send me a jacket in exchange for giving my review on this website, and that is an exchange that I happily agreed to.

I will admit that, at first, I was skeptical. The jackets are totally ridiculous looking, but then I put it on, and I kind of liked it. I thought it would be paper thin material, but it was strong fabric, comfortable, and fit me like a glove.

As a football fan who grew up in the Midwest, sometime in October, it became too cold to wear my favorite t-shirt or polo to the game without flirting with hypothermia. This meant that I switched to hoodies, and even though I love hoodies, it's impossible to not resemble a hobo when wearing one. Day drinking is a great time to pursue romantic interests, but it's a lot harder to break that ice if they aren't sure whether you are going to take them home or to a cardboard box.

That is where Shinesty, well, shines. Instead of looking like a hobo, you can look like someone who looks sharp. Is it loud and outrageous? Of course it is, but as all the classic PUAs would suggest, outrageous clothing is really just great peacocking.

Even I will admit that this jacket is not for everyone. You have to have a baseline level of confidence to truly pull it off, because you are going to turn heads. But if your swag factor is strong, and you want to look sharp when supporting your favorite football team, then the Shinesty jacket is the right choice for you.

The WWE Is Ruining... Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we are definitely not talking about nerds. Instead, it's time to talk about Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, two guys who really need a tag team name.

I know it's hard to remember this now, but Anderson and Gallows actually debuted as total badasses when they came out in street clothes and annihilated The Usos. That's pretty cool. Then they started tagging with AJ Styles. That is also cool. They won most matches, and when they lost, it was usually DQ. This could also be classified as cool.

Then about two months after their debut, they stopped winning matches. It was not cool. They stopped winning, and people stopped caring.

Inexplicably, they won the tag titles at the Royal Rumble, but even that was mitigated since it was relegated to the preshow. Also, even though they held the belts, they still lost to Roman Reigns in a handicap match. Eventually, they lost to the Hardy Boyz at WrestleMania and have gone back to their losing ways for the last year and a half. Currently, they are in one of their better stretches as tehy have not been seen for over two months.

So what to do with Gallows and Anderson? It's actually super simple. Put these guys in a stable. You align them with any combination of New Japan guys that you want. Finn Balor (with him being on Raw, probably won't happen anytime soon), AJ Styles, even Shinsuke Nakamura would all make sense aligning with Anderson and Gallows. Hell, you could bring up Ricochet as part of the group to give him an early boost.

The big thing with Gallows and Anderson is they are probably not going to carry the division, but they should be occasional champs. The problem is they haven't been showcased in the right way to demonstrate their personality, and they seem to be completely worthless without the belts. If you put them in a stable, they can accompany other guys and make their presence felt with distractions on the outside. As these past months have shown us, just being present would be a huge upgrade for them.

Also, Gallows and Anderson are meant to be bullies. They were able to do that with a numbers game where the Bullet Club cheated all the damn time. This way they can be important without needing the straps, and they can have a purpose without being in the title picture. Also, looking at those names above, what are their gimmicks? AJ Styles would prefer if you didn't threaten his family, Finn Balor smiles, and Shinsuke...is Japanese. Ideally, you end the Samoa Joe feud by having Joe continue to mess with Styles until Gallows and Anderson come out and totally destroy him to help out their buddy. A month or two later, have them help out Shinsuke, and bam, you have a fearsome foursome that is the most threatening thing on Smackdown.

There is no need to reinvent the wheel with Gallows and Anderson. You have a perfectly good wheel waiting to be used. But they could still use a different name.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

1 Takeaway from the Iowa / Northwestern Game

I went out of town this past weekend so let's just make this short and sweet.

Iowa Gonna Iowa
I need to keep this in mind anytime I get excited about a team. Iowa gonna Iowa. They are going to make inexplicable calls on offense and not only refuse to utilize their best players, they aren't even going to let them on the field. The Iowa Way excels at making mountains out of mole hills. They did it with DJK, they did it with Marcus Coker, and it sure as hell seems like they are doing it with Noah Fant. And Iowa isn't a team with enough talent to pull off these maneuvers. They do everything they can to make their job difficult, and it takes an impossible set of circumstances to make them a contender. Yes, it has happened, but it's not likely.

Iowa has two games left, and although they should easily win both, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an upset or two.

Iowa gonna Iowa.

The WWE Is Ruining... Mojo Rawley

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I am getting hyped to talk about the WWE's incompetence, but the question is whether I can stay hyped as I talk about Rob Gronkowski's best friend, Mojo Rawley.

Mojo Rawley is a bunch of charisma, but his wrestling prowess leaves something to be desired. He's basically like a big puppy stomping around with feet that are too big for his body. Sure it's cute, but there is only so much you can do when it's constantly shitting all over the place.

He's probably shown his best charisma as a heel as he can believably show disdain for flashy good guys who deserve beatings. But he doesn't have the technical skills or overwhelming power to be the believable badass that he would need to be.

I think he would be a perfect mid-level babyface in the 1980s. I know this may sound weird, but he basically reminds me of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. He has a lot of energy, not great in the ring, but he has enough charisma to get cheered as long as we occasionally remind people that he's friends with Hulk Hogan.

Now, obviously, I would like to make Brutus Beefcake the father of Mojo Rawley, but since I just did that last week with Norman Smiley and Alicia Fox, I probably shouldn't go back to that well just yet. Seriously, if I was on WWE Creative, my first response for any new character would be to make someone from late-90s WCW their biological father. My first recommendation would always be La Parka.

Okay, got a little sidetracked there. Back to Mojo Rawley. Since nothing stands out about Mojo Rawley to me, I think you just use him as a jobber to elevate more important talent. If you're looking to maximize Mojo, put him in a tag team with a great worker. If you kept him as a good guy, tagged him up with Sami Zayn, you could have a pretty great team where Mojo can just come in as the hot tag guy and dominate for two minutes while Zayn handles the heavy lifting. I do not believe this is the best use of Sami Zayn, so I'd keep Mojo as a jobber.

Since Rawley does not get my mojo rising, I consulted Lukewarm Jonah for his take on the situation.

The WWE is ruining Mojo Rawley.  He won the Andre The Giant Battle Royal when he eliminated Jinder Mahal.  If you had told me one of the final people in that match would be a world champion I would have guessed Gronk.  Then after that battle royal, they did pretty much nothing with him.  The WWE did something right with Mojo Rawley, turn him heel.  He was pretty unlikeable as a face, as his gimmick of I have a famous friend isn’t a great one to relate to the wide audience.  I got to witness heel Mojo before anyone else, at an NXT house show he worked as a heel and thrusted a bunch.  Just so much thrusting.  One thing his current character is missing is that thrusting.  Another way that the WWE could get Mojo over is by completely flipping his face character.  Face Mojo didn’t get hype, he stayed hype.  Heel Mojo should be as low energy as possible.  I suggest a saying of I don’t get melancholy I stay melancholy, or morose.  Then he could be Triple M, Melancholy Morose Mojo.  Also his entrance music should be The Simpsons Monkey pressing the computer and making it say “Pray For Mojo” set over “Melancholy and The Infinite Sadness”.  He also needs an NFL friend, but not Gronk, he’s too hype.  Luckily, there’s the perfect low energy NFL star who has tons of time on his hands, Jay Cutler.  Cutler can come to shows and look uninterested while Mojo wheels himself to the ring.  Cutler can also throw things at Mojo’s opponents to distract them, but he’ll hit Mojo about half the time, because he throws a lot of interceptions you see.  Super low energy Mojo will be a huge hit and get over like crazy, the crowd will boo like crazy when he low energy thrusts.

Yeah, it's probably best to make Mojo a jobber; it's up to the audience on whether they want Jay Cutler to be his manager or not.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

3 Takeaways from the Iowa / Purdue Game

Last week against Penn State, I kept thinking Iowa was going to pull it out. There was not much evidence to support this, but had Iowa not had one of the most ridiculous interceptions at the goal line, my confidence could have paid off. This week was the opposite of that. Yeah, I felt good going into the game, but then the game started and I just didn't see any way Iowa was going to overcome a David Blough that was throwing dimes all over the yard and the rest of the Purdue Boilermakers. Last week, I was wrong, and unfortunately, this week I was right. That game exhausted me, so only three takeaways this week.

Ihmir Smith-Marsette Is Taking Years Off My Life
Smith-Marsette started off the game with a really nice kick return, although it was negated by a penalty. Later on in the game, the Hawkeyes tried to utilize ISM's speed on a jet sweep, but the man refuses to go anywhere but as far outside as possible. It doesn't matter if there is a massive hole just waiting for him, he is going to go outside that wide receiver block and give himself absolutely no room to make anything happen. He will make fantastic catches and drop balls that hit him between the numbers. He wanted to return a kickoff when he caught it eight yards into the end zone and was visibly upset that his upman wouldn't let him. I go back and forth on whether Iowa needs a player like him or would be better off if he never saw the field again.

Purdue Found Riley Moss
In Riley Moss's first start, Minnesota found and abused him throughout the game. They threw two bad passes late in the game, so somehow Moss had a bad game and was also named Freshman of the Week since he had two picks. This was definitely a case of stats not telling the whole story. He was bad in that game, but none of Iowa's next three opponents decided to take excessive advantage of it. Purdue was not as kind as they definitely saw a weakness and exploited it, and exploited it...and exploited it. Riley Moss is a true freshman so he has plenty of time to grow, but he is not a starting caliber corner at this stage in his career. Iowa appeared to replace him with Ojemudia in the second half, and that has to be the plan moving forward, at least until Hankins returns.

Iowa REALLY Wanted to get Austin Kelly a Touchdown
Iowa is to getting Austin Kelly a touchdown as Gretchen Weiners is to making fetch happen. Stop trying to make fullback touchdowns a thing Iowa; it's not going to happen.

Who am I kidding? I'm an Iowa fan. There are only two types of touchdowns that matter, fullbacks and tight ends. Keep plowing Kelly forward.

At Least Feel Guilty About It

We live in a horrifically messed up society. Our president is a man baby who only cares about himself. I honestly don't think he has any ill will towards immigrants, but he sees an opportunity to increase his popularity, and he would do anything for that. If people he never met die because of his words, it's not going to phase him, because he simply doesn't give a shit. There's no bad intentions from him, but if people die, they die, and he's fine with that. If a second holocaust would increase his popularity, you bet your ass that he would be the first to preheat the ovens, and he wouldn't feel one bit of guilt.

Somehow, nearly as messed up, is that there are "intellectuals" who defend Donald Trump. I use the term intellectual, because literally the only thing you need to do to be considered one is to take a contrarian view and...actually, that's it. Just take a contrarian view. You don't have to make a compelling argument, you don't have to provide evidence. Then they got commended by other privileged assholes for having such a fascinating opinion.

Then, despite their being no evidence, people believe this ridiculously stupid shit. People actually think that Donald Trump cares about them; people think vaccinations are bad, and people don't think raping women and lying about it matters when selecting a member of the Supreme Court. How are these actual things that people believe in?

Worst of all, there are people who vote for Republicans and don't feel guilty about it. I was born and raised in a state that has had Steve King in office for 15 years, and he doesn't even attempt to hide his racism. Republicans only goal is to make the very richest people on this planet richer. If it kills poor people, they do not give one shit. How is it possible to not support healthcare for all? Like, how can someone consciously think that people should die in order for them to pay $75 less in taxes? How could someone vote for that platform and not feel guilty?

Let me make this clear: If you vote Republican, you are a bad person. You are actively hurting those most in need and helping those who have no needs at all. I'm not perfect, but at least I can rest easy knowing that I am not intentionally hurting the less fortunate.

I should note that most Democrats are awful pieces of shit too. Their biggest fight is for decorum, but enough of them fall in line when it matters that they let this evil shit happen. Although there are some good ones (my current state, Florida, appears to have an awesome one running for governor), there are many that are just the lesser of two evils. But that lesser of two evils is at least not actively trying to enact laws that kill poor people and minorities, and in my book, that is a pretty freaking big deal.

I'm not expecting this to change anyone's mind, but when you go and vote, just think about what you are actually voting for. If you are comfortable with innocent people suffering just so you can get a 60 inch instead of a 55 inch TV, then go for it.

But at least feel guilty about it.

How To Defend Against Two Guns

You ever find yourself where somebody takes you from behind and puts a gun to your head? It's probably not a big deal as it is fairly easy to handle one gunman, even if they are behind you. Any idiot can get out of that situation. BUT what if there is a second gunman who has a gun pointed at your belly. Well, shoot, that puts you in quite a pickle. But fear not, as you are about to learn how to handle these two assailants without breaking a sweat.

Two guns? It's not a problem #dumbassmartialarts #bullshit #guns #twoguns #wtf #selfdefense #realshit #lol #shot #shotgun pic.twitter.com/yfU0nORqYc

— Dumbass Martial Arts (@DumbassMA) February 7, 2018

So easy. Just smack the gun behind you into the man's shoulder blade. For some reason, he is going to shoot his gun into his own shoulder which will harm him, and you will be completely fine despite an explosion happening about six inches from your face. Also, before we move onto the second assailant, can I just say that I do not want to be assailant number one in this situation? That front bullet would tear through the woman and take out the guy behind her. This is not an effective kidnapping strategy.

Guy number two is my favorite part. You just push his hand forward, and all of a sudden, he is going to find his gun pointed at his friend's dick. Since it is very gay to shoot your friend's dick, this will cause him an existential crisis where he will freeze up and have no idea what to do.

While he is contemplating his own sexuality, it will be easy to disarm this man.

I know having two guns may seem like an insurmountable situation, but people forget that guns are like quarterbacks: If you have two, you really don't have one.