Monday, November 5, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Mojo Rawley

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I am getting hyped to talk about the WWE's incompetence, but the question is whether I can stay hyped as I talk about Rob Gronkowski's best friend, Mojo Rawley.

Mojo Rawley is a bunch of charisma, but his wrestling prowess leaves something to be desired. He's basically like a big puppy stomping around with feet that are too big for his body. Sure it's cute, but there is only so much you can do when it's constantly shitting all over the place.

He's probably shown his best charisma as a heel as he can believably show disdain for flashy good guys who deserve beatings. But he doesn't have the technical skills or overwhelming power to be the believable badass that he would need to be.

I think he would be a perfect mid-level babyface in the 1980s. I know this may sound weird, but he basically reminds me of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. He has a lot of energy, not great in the ring, but he has enough charisma to get cheered as long as we occasionally remind people that he's friends with Hulk Hogan.

Now, obviously, I would like to make Brutus Beefcake the father of Mojo Rawley, but since I just did that last week with Norman Smiley and Alicia Fox, I probably shouldn't go back to that well just yet. Seriously, if I was on WWE Creative, my first response for any new character would be to make someone from late-90s WCW their biological father. My first recommendation would always be La Parka.

Okay, got a little sidetracked there. Back to Mojo Rawley. Since nothing stands out about Mojo Rawley to me, I think you just use him as a jobber to elevate more important talent. If you're looking to maximize Mojo, put him in a tag team with a great worker. If you kept him as a good guy, tagged him up with Sami Zayn, you could have a pretty great team where Mojo can just come in as the hot tag guy and dominate for two minutes while Zayn handles the heavy lifting. I do not believe this is the best use of Sami Zayn, so I'd keep Mojo as a jobber.

Since Rawley does not get my mojo rising, I consulted Lukewarm Jonah for his take on the situation.

The WWE is ruining Mojo Rawley.  He won the Andre The Giant Battle Royal when he eliminated Jinder Mahal.  If you had told me one of the final people in that match would be a world champion I would have guessed Gronk.  Then after that battle royal, they did pretty much nothing with him.  The WWE did something right with Mojo Rawley, turn him heel.  He was pretty unlikeable as a face, as his gimmick of I have a famous friend isn’t a great one to relate to the wide audience.  I got to witness heel Mojo before anyone else, at an NXT house show he worked as a heel and thrusted a bunch.  Just so much thrusting.  One thing his current character is missing is that thrusting.  Another way that the WWE could get Mojo over is by completely flipping his face character.  Face Mojo didn’t get hype, he stayed hype.  Heel Mojo should be as low energy as possible.  I suggest a saying of I don’t get melancholy I stay melancholy, or morose.  Then he could be Triple M, Melancholy Morose Mojo.  Also his entrance music should be The Simpsons Monkey pressing the computer and making it say “Pray For Mojo” set over “Melancholy and The Infinite Sadness”.  He also needs an NFL friend, but not Gronk, he’s too hype.  Luckily, there’s the perfect low energy NFL star who has tons of time on his hands, Jay Cutler.  Cutler can come to shows and look uninterested while Mojo wheels himself to the ring.  Cutler can also throw things at Mojo’s opponents to distract them, but he’ll hit Mojo about half the time, because he throws a lot of interceptions you see.  Super low energy Mojo will be a huge hit and get over like crazy, the crowd will boo like crazy when he low energy thrusts.
Yeah, it's probably best to make Mojo a jobber; it's up to the audience on whether they want Jay Cutler to be his manager or not.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox

Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston

Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce

Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

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