Monday, September 30, 2019

2019 WWE Brawl For All: Eric Bischoff vs. Mojo Rawley

It's time for the second round of Karate's greatest ambassador taking on Gronk's best friend. Talk about an exciting matchup.

 Joe’s #1 Eric Bischoff vs. Joe’s #5 Mojo Rawley
Joe: Jonah, please tell me how you could possibly imagine Mojo Rawley beating up the king of karate, Eric Bischoff, and then I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.
Jonah: I think Bischoff can get distracted by Mojo’s between round thrusting easily. Mojo is big and athletic, he could definitely knock out Bischoff with his power. I also know you’re a big fan of Bischoff in these shoot fights for some reason, but I’m pretty sure Mojo can take a 60 year old man’s punches.
Joe: Jonah, big and strong does not equal knockout power. Brock Lesnar might be the strongest person in the world, but he never had knockout power. By sheer force, he rocked some guys, but if the only way he got TKOs was by following up with punches on the ground. 
Here’s the beauty of Brawl for All, it isn’t about how hard you hit; it’s how often you hit as you get points for most punches landed. Karate is the ideal martial art for this as Bischoff will be able to dart in, land a punch or two and then dart out and circle out. Bischoff will have Mojo so confounded with his movement that Easy E is likely to take out his mouthguard in the middle of a round just to flash that ultra arrogant smile at his opponent. Bischoff won’t be close to knocking out Mojo, but he’s the ultimate strategist, and he will make sure that he lands one extra punch in every round to take this decision.
Jonah: Ummm, I’m pretty sure Brock Lesnar broke Heath Herring’s face with his first punch in their fight, it didn’t knock him out, but Heath Herring took eight years off after that fight, so I’m guessing staying awake with a broken face isn’t a big advantage. I have to ask Joe, why do you seem to want to fight strong people so badly? I know you’re a trained fighter and all, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been punched in the face a lot more than you. I prefer the smaller, less strong punches to the bigger stronger punches.
Joe: I don’t think I have ever said that I want to fight anyone, big or small. I would just like to point out that big strong people don’t always hit harder than small people. I’m a man of peace and for the record, am definitely not a trained fighter. I have trained in mixed martial arts, but calling me a fighter is like calling someone who uses a microwave a chef. And Jonah, even though I’m not a fighter, I’m nearly positive that the idea of fighting is to NOT get punched in the face. 
Anyway, Bischoff is somebody that can take advantage of the rules in this tournament. He doesn’t have to hit the better punches, he just has to land more. Mojo could batter and bruise Bischoff, but if Easy E lands more, even if he does zero damage, he wins. With his karate background, he has to be the favorite in this fight.
Jonah: He’s not the favorite in any fight, except inside your head. Fine Bischoff can win, because Mojo sucks anyways.
Joe: Somehow, the improbable Eric Bischoff story continues. He was an improbable first round pick, and is still somehow an improbable Cinderella. Best of both worlds.

Quarterfinals

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3 comments:

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