A Spambot Wrote Something Better Than Shakespeare

You know the phrase, if you gave an infinite amount of monkeys an infinite amount of typewriters, eventually, they would recreate the works of Shakespeare. Well, this theory has now been tested in real life, as there are basically infinite spambots posting to infinite websites, and one of these has not only matched Shakespeare, but have far exceeded his works in just one single post. A spambot under the name of Judith Leighton produced this masterpiece that is so beautiful that I have to break it down line by line.

FOOTBALL
What a hook. I like football, so now I must read more. But at this point, if you think you have any idea where this is going, oh man, let me assure you that you have absolutely no idea.

Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA 
The beauty of this entire post is that it almost makes sense. Like, upon first read, you're kind of thinking that you read it wrong, but then you read it again, and it is most definitely the fault of the writer, in this case, a Spambot. Like football has video games, and it is around the United States, and it kind of involves basketball, because look at successful tight ends like Jimmy Graham and Antonio Gates. 

The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey.
The game of basketball being summed up as NHL Handbags combined with MLB Hockey may be the greatest diss a sport has ever received. It's not real NHL, it's handbag NHL, aka lady NHL, which is a bit sexist. And combining that with major league baseball players participating in hockey.

Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups.
And this is where shit goes off the rails. I really want to start referring to the NFL as "your countrywide footballing category." NFL players really are just a specialized hockey group; can't argue with that.

There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL,
God, I am so excited for you to find out the two people inside American football.

Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
Ah yes, the famous two people, Indigenous Football and Little League Summit. You can't talk pigskin without bringing up these two, battling it out on the court, working to score a goal in the other's home plate purse. Beautiful stuff.

Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312.
The first sentence shows that Judith clearly knows her sports. It is normally the most used activity. Abnormally, it will not be. But that second sentence has been the one that has really perplexed me. The number of people in the NFL can be 19, 510, or 312. Those are certainly all numbers, but outside of 19 being Joe Montana's number on the Kansas City Chiefs, I cannot think of any significance in the others. I looked up career interception and touchdown leaders, and it's close, but not quite right. Much like Shakespeare, it is impossible to fully understand everything.

Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.
Well, this is something we can all agree on as I am already anticipating the next Super Run. It showed that she's a true sports observer and was the perfect way to end her post. Thank you, Judith Leighton, for trying to get me to click on weird internet sites and using a really bad translator system to do it. I appreciate everything about your post. And for my readers, here is that post in its entirety.

FOOTBALL Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey. Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups. There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL, Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
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Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312. Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.

Mark Perry and the Changing Arms Race in College Wrestling

It's now been a couple months since Iowa brought Mark Perry back to the school where he wrestled to head up the Hawkeye Wrestling Club. This club is for guys training for international freestyle competition, but its impact already appears as if it will reach far beyond that. The Hawkeye Wrestling Club bringing on Perry may seem like just one extra guy to help out, but it is actually just the first domino in what will help Iowa lead in college wrestling's arms race.

The University of Iowa wrestling team and the Hawkeye Wrestling Club are two distinct entities. They don't even train the same style of wrestling as the Iowa Hawkeyes wrestle folkstyle and the HWC wrestles freestyle. That being said, there is only one wrestling room where these two train, and folkstyle and freestyle isn't that different where the two sides can't help each other out.

Although Perry isn't a coach for the Iowa Hawkeyes, he's still going to be in the room, and he's still going to be helping guys out, even if he isn't on the side of the mat during their matches. Perry was also known as a strong recruiter when coaching college, and even though he can't directly recruit high school wrestlers, he can still be an influential force when they visit campus. He's already helped out in convincing Justin Mejia to commit to Iowa after things fell through with his commitment to Illinois.

The University of Iowa wrestling team is taking full advantage of having another team training for freestyle. The HWC now boasts an impressive collection of talent. They have former Hawkeyes, Nathan Burak, Bobby Telford, Matt McDonough, Dan Dennis, Sammy Brooks, Alex Meyer, and World Team Member, Thomas Gilman. They have also added Nick and Chris Dardanes as well as former NCAA Champion, Jesse Delgado. That last one is the most interesting as it is the earliest benefit of bringing on Perry as Delgado was coached by Perry when he was an assistant at the University of Illinois. With that collection of talent, the lower weights are stacked, the upper weights are in good shape, and the middle weights are solid right now. And speaking of those middle weights, there is a good chance that Isaiah Martinez, a guy who has the chance to be a three-time NCAA Champion this year, comes to the HWC after graduating because of his relationship with Perry. It has the potential to be a ridiculous amount of talent in that wrestling room.

But Iowa isn't alone in this. The elephant in every wrestling room is Penn State, and they're building a formidable group of guys that were formerly coached in college by Cael Sanderson. Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Nebraska all have brought on a lot of talent with their freestyle wrestling clubs that have benefited the university teams.

In wrestling, there is a limited amount of scholarship money you can hand out to strengthen your team. By having a wrestling club, you are bringing more talent into the room to help your team grow. Iron sharpens iron, and with the Hawkeye Wrestling Club, the University of Iowa has a whole lot more iron at its disposal to help sharpen their wrestling team. 

Reviewing my Fantasy Baseball Sleepers for 2017

Before the season began, I found a guy from each team that I thought would exceed expectations this year. You may be surprised by this, but I did not get them all right. Still, I did get some right, so it's time to go over my successes and failures to see if I'm a genius, or one of those guys that only gets called genius sarcastically. Let's break it down division by division.

AL East: 2-3
Baltimore Orioles - Dylan Bundy
His ERA and record are both respectable, but all of the underlying stats say that things are going to continue to go downhill for him after a strong start. He's been fine, but my lack of confidence in his future makes me mark this down as a loss.

Boston Red Sox - Eduardo Rodriguez
When he's been in, he's been pretty solid. He had a knee injury, but should be back from that soon. Not spectacular, but a solid late round contribution from the guy, so I think it's enough to mark this down as a victory.

New York Yankees - Gary Sanchez
He's a stud catcher that was worthy of reaching early, especially as he gets more playing time in the second half. I know it hasn't been phenomenal yet, but it's still been pretty great.

Tampa Bay Rays - Jake Odorizzi
Odorizzi has been blah, which means I've got to say, "Nah."

Toronto Blue Jays - Troy Tulowitzki
Stick a fork in him; he's done.

AL Central: 2-3
Chicago White Sox - Tim Anderson
Yeah, he hasn't been good at all, but he's kept his job, so at least he's gotten plenty of chances to be incompetent.

Cleveland Indians - Cody Allen
He was rated too low for what would be a good closer. He has been a good closer. That's good enough.

Detroit Tigers - Justin Upton
Justin Upton has been pretty damn good this year. Nice job, Justin Upton.

Kansas City Royals - Jorge Soler
Fun fact: I will draft Jorge Soler for at least the next five years, based solely on Joe Maddon once calling him Vladimir Guerrero with more plate discipline. I thought it was an outrageous comment then, but I still can't get it out of my head. This will ruin me for years to come.

Minnesota Twins - Byron Buxton
He was historically bad to start the year, but at least he's improved to just bad at this point in the year.

AL West: 2-3
Houston Astros - Lance McCullers
Outside of a little injury trouble, McCullers has been a stud, so this one makes me look really smart.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Ben Revere
With the Mike Trout injury, he has had a decent amount of playing time. He has not been good in that playing time.

Oakland Athletics - Marcus Semien
Got hurt; has barely played. I'd still recommend snagging him when he comes off the DL if you need some middle infield help.

Seattle Mariners - Mike Zunino
Zunino still doesn't have a great average, but it's not awful, and he's producing solid power. He's a respectable catching option that you could have gotten at the very end of the draft, so I feel pretty good about this one.

Texas Rangers - Nomar Mazara
Mazara has basically been doing exactly what he did last year, which is not what I was hoping for from him, so even though he's been okay, I expected more than okay.

NL East: 1-4
Atlanta Braves - Brandon Phillips
Still providing a nice average with some decent counting stats, just as I predicted. Nice work, Mr. Phillips.

Miami Marlins - Adam Conley
He's been bad. Total bust. I really hope you didn't listen to me on this one.

New York Mets - Travis d'Arnaud
Travis d'Arnaud hasn't been too bad, but I also don't think he's been good enough to be a reliable starting catcher on fantasy teams, so I'd have to mark this as a loss.

Philadelphia Phillies - Aaron Nola
Aaron Nola had to be special for this one to pay off. Aaron Nola has not been special.

Washington Nationals - Shawn Kelley
Like, right after I wrote this, word came down that Kelley was unlikely to be the closer. And he's just been awful this year, so this may be my worst pick out of all 30.

NL Central: 2-3
Chicago Cubs - Jason Heyward
Well, he's better than last year, but that's not saying much, so I can't take any credit on this one.

Cincinnati Reds - Devin Mesoraco
For a catcher, he hasn't really been bad, but he also hasn't played enough to make an actual impact. Nobody is actually going to carry Mesoraco on their fantasy team and call it a success, so that makes it a failure.

Milwaukee Brewers - Keon Broxton 
The average isn't strong, but I wouldn't have expected it to be. But considering that he is in the teens for both home runs and stolen bases already, this one is definitely a win.

Pittsburgh Pirates - Tyler Glasnow
2-6 record with an ERA over 7.00. Yeah, not my best work.

St. Louis Cardinals - Kolten Wong
The counting stats aren't great, but he's hitting over .300, and when he gets healthy, he'll start racking up enough counting stats to be relevant, so I'm counting this as a win.

NL West: 1-4
Arizona Diamondbacks - Robbie Ray
Hell yeah, Robbie Ray is striking out fools and keeping a good ERA in a hitter's park. Robbie Ray is the man.

Colorado Rockies - Jonathan Gray
He's barely pitched this year, but the early results are promising. Still, he's barely pitched this year, which means this sleeper has not awoken to become a beast.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Julio Urias
Urias had major surgery already this year, so that tends to not be a great sign for success.

San Diego Padres - Travis Jankowski
He had a poor start to the year, followed by a foot injury, but hey, at least all of his value isn't derived from his speed.

San Francisco Giants - Matt Moore
ERA over 6.00; I'll still probably take a chance on him next year. I can't quit Matt Moore.

As you can tell, my results were, uh...not good. My goal going in was .500, and I thought maybe I'd have up to a 60% success rate. I didn't come close to those numbers; in fact, I wasn't even at .500 for a single division. Instead, I ended up at 10-20, which is simply bad if we're being honest. But now that I have set an incredibly low bar for this exercise, I feel confident that I can exceed expectations next year. 11-19, here I come!