How To Make Money Online: ShareASale

How do you make money online? I seriously have no clue, so that is why I am investigating different ways to make it happen. Last week, I gave a very brief overview of Amazon ads, but it's too early to tell how lucrative that will become for me. Now it is time to check out a different sort of ad, ShareASale.

ShareASale partners advertisers with sites like mine in order for the advertisers to make big money and me to make a little bit of money any time that they get a sale through my website. Since I wanted to keep my integrity, I figured I would go with websites that I have actually used in the past. So I saw that Wayfair was a partner, and since my wife has bought stuff from them, I figured I could advertise and then get a percentage of the sale if somebody decided to buy an accent chair or some other worthless shit like that.

I applied to be a partner, and within a few hours, I had gotten my response: DECLINED

Well, shit, that didn't work out as planned. So, next off, I decided to search for brands that I know. both NFL and MLB Shop were available on this site, so I decided to submit my application to them to see if maybe I could drum up some business for some down-on-their-luck leagues who could use all of the help they could get.

The second story is the same as the first: DECLINED

Aw, crud. This was not going to be as easy as I hoped. So I moved on. I kept searching for a partner that would make sense for the blog, because, yo, I gots to get paid. Luckily, there were my good friends at Fanatics. Fanatics sells gear from yours and my favorite teams, so they were a fantastic fit, and they accepted to partner with me, so that was really nice of them.

I have no idea if this will be profitable, and honestly, I can't even remember how the commission structure works, but it can't hurt (I hope).

Anyway, you'll probably see some ads for Iowa Hawkeye gear and an occasional Chicago sport team, since that seems to be the desires of a majority of my readers. These, with Amazon ads will probably be the extent of advertisements on the website, as I do not have the know-how to give 65 pop ups like most porn sites (or so I've heard...from friends of friends, more acquaintances of acquaintances really). So if you're going to buy stuff, click on those links, and help me not get evicted from my home.

And hopefully I can update this post in a week when I am doing in from the comfort of my brand new mansion.

A Spambot Wrote Something Better Than Shakespeare

You know the phrase, if you gave an infinite amount of monkeys an infinite amount of typewriters, eventually, they would recreate the works of Shakespeare. Well, this theory has now been tested in real life, as there are basically infinite spambots posting to infinite websites, and one of these has not only matched Shakespeare, but have far exceeded his works in just one single post. A spambot under the name of Judith Leighton produced this masterpiece that is so beautiful that I have to break it down line by line.

FOOTBALL
What a hook. I like football, so now I must read more. But at this point, if you think you have any idea where this is going, oh man, let me assure you that you have absolutely no idea.

Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA 
The beauty of this entire post is that it almost makes sense. Like, upon first read, you're kind of thinking that you read it wrong, but then you read it again, and it is most definitely the fault of the writer, in this case, a Spambot. Like football has video games, and it is around the United States, and it kind of involves basketball, because look at successful tight ends like Jimmy Graham and Antonio Gates. 

The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey.
The game of basketball being summed up as NHL Handbags combined with MLB Hockey may be the greatest diss a sport has ever received. It's not real NHL, it's handbag NHL, aka lady NHL, which is a bit sexist. And combining that with major league baseball players participating in hockey.

Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups.
And this is where shit goes off the rails. I really want to start referring to the NFL as "your countrywide footballing category." NFL players really are just a specialized hockey group; can't argue with that.

There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL,
God, I am so excited for you to find out the two people inside American football.

Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
Ah yes, the famous two people, Indigenous Football and Little League Summit. You can't talk pigskin without bringing up these two, battling it out on the court, working to score a goal in the other's home plate purse. Beautiful stuff.

Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312.
The first sentence shows that Judith clearly knows her sports. It is normally the most used activity. Abnormally, it will not be. But that second sentence has been the one that has really perplexed me. The number of people in the NFL can be 19, 510, or 312. Those are certainly all numbers, but outside of 19 being Joe Montana's number on the Kansas City Chiefs, I cannot think of any significance in the others. I looked up career interception and touchdown leaders, and it's close, but not quite right. Much like Shakespeare, it is impossible to fully understand everything.

Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.
Well, this is something we can all agree on as I am already anticipating the next Super Run. It showed that she's a true sports observer and was the perfect way to end her post. Thank you, Judith Leighton, for trying to get me to click on weird internet sites and using a really bad translator system to do it. I appreciate everything about your post. And for my readers, here is that post in its entirety.

FOOTBALL Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey. Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups. There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL, Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
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Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312. Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.

Reviewing my Fantasy Baseball Sleepers for 2017

Before the season began, I found a guy from each team that I thought would exceed expectations this year. You may be surprised by this, but I did not get them all right. Still, I did get some right, so it's time to go over my successes and failures to see if I'm a genius, or one of those guys that only gets called genius sarcastically. Let's break it down division by division.

AL East: 2-3
Baltimore Orioles - Dylan Bundy
His ERA and record are both respectable, but all of the underlying stats say that things are going to continue to go downhill for him after a strong start. He's been fine, but my lack of confidence in his future makes me mark this down as a loss.

Boston Red Sox - Eduardo Rodriguez
When he's been in, he's been pretty solid. He had a knee injury, but should be back from that soon. Not spectacular, but a solid late round contribution from the guy, so I think it's enough to mark this down as a victory.

New York Yankees - Gary Sanchez
He's a stud catcher that was worthy of reaching early, especially as he gets more playing time in the second half. I know it hasn't been phenomenal yet, but it's still been pretty great.

Tampa Bay Rays - Jake Odorizzi
Odorizzi has been blah, which means I've got to say, "Nah."

Toronto Blue Jays - Troy Tulowitzki
Stick a fork in him; he's done.

AL Central: 2-3
Chicago White Sox - Tim Anderson
Yeah, he hasn't been good at all, but he's kept his job, so at least he's gotten plenty of chances to be incompetent.

Cleveland Indians - Cody Allen
He was rated too low for what would be a good closer. He has been a good closer. That's good enough.

Detroit Tigers - Justin Upton
Justin Upton has been pretty damn good this year. Nice job, Justin Upton.

Kansas City Royals - Jorge Soler
Fun fact: I will draft Jorge Soler for at least the next five years, based solely on Joe Maddon once calling him Vladimir Guerrero with more plate discipline. I thought it was an outrageous comment then, but I still can't get it out of my head. This will ruin me for years to come.

Minnesota Twins - Byron Buxton
He was historically bad to start the year, but at least he's improved to just bad at this point in the year.

AL West: 2-3
Houston Astros - Lance McCullers
Outside of a little injury trouble, McCullers has been a stud, so this one makes me look really smart.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Ben Revere
With the Mike Trout injury, he has had a decent amount of playing time. He has not been good in that playing time.

Oakland Athletics - Marcus Semien
Got hurt; has barely played. I'd still recommend snagging him when he comes off the DL if you need some middle infield help.

Seattle Mariners - Mike Zunino
Zunino still doesn't have a great average, but it's not awful, and he's producing solid power. He's a respectable catching option that you could have gotten at the very end of the draft, so I feel pretty good about this one.

Texas Rangers - Nomar Mazara
Mazara has basically been doing exactly what he did last year, which is not what I was hoping for from him, so even though he's been okay, I expected more than okay.

NL East: 1-4
Atlanta Braves - Brandon Phillips
Still providing a nice average with some decent counting stats, just as I predicted. Nice work, Mr. Phillips.

Miami Marlins - Adam Conley
He's been bad. Total bust. I really hope you didn't listen to me on this one.

New York Mets - Travis d'Arnaud
Travis d'Arnaud hasn't been too bad, but I also don't think he's been good enough to be a reliable starting catcher on fantasy teams, so I'd have to mark this as a loss.

Philadelphia Phillies - Aaron Nola
Aaron Nola had to be special for this one to pay off. Aaron Nola has not been special.

Washington Nationals - Shawn Kelley
Like, right after I wrote this, word came down that Kelley was unlikely to be the closer. And he's just been awful this year, so this may be my worst pick out of all 30.

NL Central: 2-3
Chicago Cubs - Jason Heyward
Well, he's better than last year, but that's not saying much, so I can't take any credit on this one.

Cincinnati Reds - Devin Mesoraco
For a catcher, he hasn't really been bad, but he also hasn't played enough to make an actual impact. Nobody is actually going to carry Mesoraco on their fantasy team and call it a success, so that makes it a failure.

Milwaukee Brewers - Keon Broxton 
The average isn't strong, but I wouldn't have expected it to be. But considering that he is in the teens for both home runs and stolen bases already, this one is definitely a win.

Pittsburgh Pirates - Tyler Glasnow
2-6 record with an ERA over 7.00. Yeah, not my best work.

St. Louis Cardinals - Kolten Wong
The counting stats aren't great, but he's hitting over .300, and when he gets healthy, he'll start racking up enough counting stats to be relevant, so I'm counting this as a win.

NL West: 1-4
Arizona Diamondbacks - Robbie Ray
Hell yeah, Robbie Ray is striking out fools and keeping a good ERA in a hitter's park. Robbie Ray is the man.

Colorado Rockies - Jonathan Gray
He's barely pitched this year, but the early results are promising. Still, he's barely pitched this year, which means this sleeper has not awoken to become a beast.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Julio Urias
Urias had major surgery already this year, so that tends to not be a great sign for success.

San Diego Padres - Travis Jankowski
He had a poor start to the year, followed by a foot injury, but hey, at least all of his value isn't derived from his speed.

San Francisco Giants - Matt Moore
ERA over 6.00; I'll still probably take a chance on him next year. I can't quit Matt Moore.

As you can tell, my results were, uh...not good. My goal going in was .500, and I thought maybe I'd have up to a 60% success rate. I didn't come close to those numbers; in fact, I wasn't even at .500 for a single division. Instead, I ended up at 10-20, which is simply bad if we're being honest. But now that I have set an incredibly low bar for this exercise, I feel confident that I can exceed expectations next year. 11-19, here I come!

2017 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers - NL West

Although baseball season is still a few weeks away, fantasy baseball season is here as draft rooms are opening and people are spending fake auction dollars on their favorite players. Everybody knows about the Mike Trouts and Clayton Kershaws of the world, so what you need to do stand out is find those hidden gems on each roster to propel yourself to fantasy greatness. I am going to go through each MLB roster to find at least one underrated player who will have you looking like a genius at the end of the season.

Today, we finally make it to the end of the series and look at the National League West where we promise there are teams outside of the Dodgers.

Arizona Diamondbacks - Robbie Ray
Let's just get this out of the way: Robbie Ray is my fantasy baseball wet dream. He struck out 218 hitters in 174 innings. I literally need no other stats to tell me that I want this guy on my team. I will openly admit my whorishness towards strikeouts for pitchers and home runs for hitters. This guy fills the former in abundance, and that is more than enough for me. Still, he had an ERA of nearly five. Shockingly, his walk rate really wasn't that bad. Instead, he struggled in every other aspect that leads to pitchers giving up runs. He gave up a good amount of home runs, had a .352 BABIP against him (worst in the league by 13 points), and stranded just 68,7 of runners that reached base. The home runs probably aren't changing, but he's basically equal with Max Scherzer, so it's not like he can't be successful while giving up some extra long balls. The big improvement will be the last two categories. It's nearly impossible for his BABIP not to improve, and the stranded runners are likely to improve as well. I'd be shocked if his ERA didn't drop by at least a full run. Robbie Ray is my jam.

Colorado Rockies - Jon Gray
Gray is basically a slightly less sexy Robbie Ray. Like, if I couldn't get my dream girl, this would be a nice one to settle for, and let's be real, she'd still be out of my league. This is getting weird, isn't it? Well, the strikeouts aren't as abundant but neither are the home runs. His big issue was letting runners who reached base score, and I think that can be improved upon this year. I rarely will draft a Colorado pitcher, but this guy is worth the risk.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Julio Urias
Urias may no longer have his prospect status, but his upside is still tremendous. He struggled early, got demoted, got promoted again, and really found his groove down the stretch. The only real question is how much workload can he handle this year, and considering the Dodgers are going to be in the hunt, I think he puts up 160-180 innings this year, and I also think he ends up as the Dodgers second best pitcher (behind Rich Hill, obviously). Don't forget the hype around Urias, because the talent is very real.

San Diego Padres - Travis Jankowski
Hey, the guy will get you steals. And since there are no offensive players on the Padres, he's guaranteed playing time. He could get you 60 stolen bases. I know his average was only .245 last year, but I think he could increase that by 30-40 points. He hit well in the minor leagues, and his minor league strikeout rate doubled once he reached the majors. I think he can figure out how to make more contact, and if he makes contact, his speed will guarantee that he turns that contact into hits.

San Francisco Giants - Matt Moore
After teasing us with talent but never having the health to match, Matt Moore finally put together a full season last year. Unfortunately, even though he finally had the health, the talent wasn't quite shining like it did during his younger days. So why am I buying into him? Well, partially because he's moving to a full year in the National League in a pitcher's park, so that's nice. But also that he may still be getting his groove back after finally getting some health. I've been betting on Matt Moore for six years, and I'll probably keep betting on him for six more. I mean, this could be the year.

2017 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers - NL Central

Although baseball season is still a few weeks away, fantasy baseball season is here as draft rooms are opening and people are spending fake auction dollars on their favorite players. Everybody knows about the Mike Trouts and Clayton Kershaws of the world, so what you need to do stand out is find those hidden gems on each roster to propel yourself to fantasy greatness. I am going to go through each MLB roster to find at least one underrated player who will have you looking like a genius at the end of the season.

Today, we visit the World Series Champs and their merry band of misfits, the National League Central.

Chicago Cubs - Jason Heyward
So it's pretty hard to find an underrated player on the Cubs these days as right now we are living in a time where everybody loves the team, so they are hyped to an unbelievable level. But the Cubs level of lovability is about to drop precipitously as the hate is brewing for this Cubs team. Much like Red Sox hate, there isn't a ton directed at the players themselves, but the fans are going to become insufferable pretty quickly. One guy that is not universally loved is Jason Heyward. It's not through any fault of his own. He tries hard, and he's good enough on defense to not be totally worthless, but he was a very bad offensive baseball player last year. He has been a good baseball player in the past, and I can't help but buy into Heyward. The guy has so many natural tools that even though he's well past the age of potential, it's hard not to see all of the great qualities he could have. This is one of those guys where a Cubs fan jumps on him too early, but if he's there after pick 200, take a flyer on him and maybe he'll figure it out, or maybe your league added UZR in the offseason.

Cincinnati Reds - Devin Mesoraco
Remember that time that Devin Mesoraco actually played a bunch of games. He hit the ball really well when he did that. He hasn't done that the last two years, and even in his minimal time, he's been rather abysmal, but maybe he'll go back to being the 2014 version of himself. I don't know, it's the Reds, and looking up Reds players is seriously depressing, so Mesoraco it is.

Milwaukee Brewers - Keon Broxton
Keon Broxton hits baseballs really hard. They still usually find people's gloves, but they probably a sting a little when people make the catch. So he's probably not going to hit for average, but that's okay, because he's got some pop in that bat, and the dude just wants to steal, steal, steal bases. Milwaukee's kind of a fun team, because they don't give a shit, so they're just going to steal bases and do all the hustly things that may not necessarily make them good, but it will make them fun. Broxton personifies this.

Pittsburgh Pirates - Tyler Glasnow
Okay, so is this going to be a good pick? Eh, probably not. But will it be a fun pick? Oh hell yeah. Glasnow is going to strike dudes out. He is able to dot hat because he has no idea where the ball is going to end up. Sure, you are sacrificing WHIP for this pick, but sometimes, in life, you have to make sacrifices. And this sacrifice leads to fun, so you should do it. Draft him and ride that Glasnow Rollercoaster.

St. Louis Cardinals - Kolten Wong
Remember those shirts from Abercrombie that talked about "Two Wongs Make it Tight." I think it was like a plumbing shirt with an Asian caricature on it. It wasn't funny, and it may not have even been from Abercrombie, but I still remember that shirt. Anyway, don't buy that shirt, but buy in on Kolten Wong. I know he's never put it together at the major league level, but he's got a good line drive swing that should lead to more balls landing in for hits. He's not going to be a home run threat, but I do think he can get some of those balls to drop in for extra bases. He's an extra infielder that you probably don't even need to draft, but he could add some value this year. What won't add value is that stupid shirt. Seriously, if you have that shirt, don't get rid of it, burn it, and make sure nobody else wears that stupid shit.

2017 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers - AL East

Although baseball season is still a few weeks away, fantasy baseball season is here as draft rooms are opening and people are spending fake auction dollars on their favorite players. Everybody knows about the Mike Trouts and Clayton Kershaws of the world, so what you need to do stand out is find those hidden gems on each roster to propel yourself to fantasy greatness. I am going to go through each MLB roster to find at least one underrated player who will have you looking like a genius at the end of the season.

Today, after going with the less sexy divisions in the American League, we go with the most talked about division in all the land, the AL East.

Baltimore Orioles - Dylan Bundy
I've been all-in on Dylan Bundy since he was drafted in 2012, so the fact that I can still buy low on him excites me. He's probably not going to be the game changing pitcher I expected when he was blowing through every minor leaguer that stood in front of him. Due to injuries, he's a different pitcher, but he's still shown that he could be a very good pitcher. Even though he struggled more as a starter in the second half, he was still striking out over a batter an inning, and he's still building up his strength after coming back from injuries. Right now, he's a ranked as a late round flyer, but I think he can produce a mid 3 ERA with a strikeout per inning which wouldn't be a bad haul for a final round pick.

Boston Red Sox - Eduardo Rodriguez
It's damn near impossible to find an underrated Red Sox player. I mean, even Pablo Sandoval made the top 300. Hanley Ramirez ranked 69 which is nice. Maybe I could take a flyer on their top prospect, Andrew Benitendi, but he's already ranked ahead one of the greatest hitters ever, Albert Pujols, so yeah, I can't really say he's underrated. Let's go with Rodriguez who struggled at the beginning of the year but basically pitched like a number two starter in the second half of the season. I doubt he'll be quite that good, but if he gets anything close to that, then he'll be worth it.

New York Yankees - Gary Sanchez
I know this isn't a deep sleeper or anything, but it was the only way I could avoid recommending Chris Carter (I always recommend Chris Carter). I know he's ranked as the second best catcher, but he was only at 113 overall, and that seems at least 30 spots too low. I don't think he's Catcher Babe Ruth, but he's still damn good, and considering the lack of options at catcher, he's worth going above his ranking to go out and secure his services for the year.

Tampa Bay Rays - Jake Odorizzi
Odorizzi's only real issue last year was health, and before that, he had proved to be rather durable. The split may put some extra strain on his arm, but considering the strong track record, he's a pitcher I'd like to have this year. Computer projections continue to love the Rays, so eventually they're going to have to be right...right?

Toronto Blue Jays - Troy Tulowitzki
Making a case with my head for Tulowitzki isn't the easiest. He has been a disappointment since getting traded from Colorado to Toronto. Still, he wasn't too bad last year as he hit 24 home runs, and had he had a better BABIP, he could have easily raised his batting average 20 points. That's what I see happening this year as a little better luck gets him closer to his former glory although not quite all the way there. Is this my head talking? No, but the heart wants what the heart wants. 

2017 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers - AL West

Although baseball season is still a few weeks away, fantasy baseball season is here as draft rooms are opening and people are spending fake auction dollars on their favorite players. Everybody knows about the Mike Trouts and Clayton Kershaws of the world, so what you need to do stand out is find those hidden gems on each roster to propel yourself to fantasy greatness. I am going to go through each MLB roster to find at least one underrated player who will have you looking like a genius at the end of the season.

Today, we continue the series with a lack of East Coast bias and look into the AL West.

Houston Astros - Lance McCullers
Obviously, the big concern with McCullers is is health. He had major struggles with injuries last year, and it's definitely a concern going into this year, but there are very few young pitchers where injuries aren't a big concern. the other concern is his control as he walked five batters per nine last year, and that's not good. I think part of that is the injuries as he was just never able to get comfortable and find a groove druing the season. I think he can at least get his walk level back to its 2015 level, possibly even better. He's ranked 244 despite having a 3.22 ERA the last two years and striking out over a batter per inning (over 11 K/9 last year). He's probably not your 200 inning ace, but he could give you a really nice 160 innings, and getting that late in the draft sure sounds like a steal to me.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Ben Revere
Real talk, I had no idea that Ben Revere was on the Angels. I also kind of forgot that Cameron Maybin was on the Angels. But I'm still going with Revere, even though I'm not sure if he'll beat out Maybin for the starting job. I figure between Maybin's injury history combined with Albert Pujols getting another year older and needing some time off, they'll be able to find some space for Ben Revere. Two years ago, he hit .300, then his BABIP dropped by 100 points below his career average, and he batted .200. I think things just balance out again this year and he gives you a .300 average, with top 10 stolen base numbers and a good number of runs scored. He may not be the sexiest hitter, but he will be valuable.

Oakland Athletics - Marcus Semien
Semien managed 27 home runs last year, and I do think his average can come up from the .238 he hit last year. His BABIP was only .268, so if that gets closer to .300, it will not only increase his runs and RBI, but he can probably get closer to 20 stolen bases. Right now, he's ranked as the 18th best shortstop. Even if he doesn't improve, he'll be able to reach that level, but if the BABIP does bounce back and the power continues, you're looking at a top-10 guy.

Seattle Mariners - Mike Zunino
This pick is not sexy pick. Zunino is ranked as the 18th best catcher, and considering his struggle in the batting average category, he's probably never going to be a top guy. But he did rake at AAA last year and showed progress when he was in the major leagues. He hits for good power, and there are guys in the top-10 like Evan Gattis and Brian McCann who probably aren't that different than Zunino who you can probably pick up as a free agent.

Texas Rangers - Nomar Mazara
One of my common themes when picking guys is post-hype sleepers. Mazara got a ton of love at the beginning of 2016, but it seems as though he wore down as the season went on, and his numbers dropped accordingly. Last year, he still managed 20 home runs, and although I don't see the power taking a big step forward, I think the guy can flat out hit. He could easily be in the .280-.300 range, and with solid power, he'll be right in the middle of the Rangers lineup to rack up those counting stats. He's currently ranked as the 58th best outfielder, and I'd say it's a fairly good bet that he exceeds those expectations.

2017 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers - AL Central

Although baseball season is still a few weeks away, fantasy baseball season is here as draft rooms are opening and people are spending fake auction dollars on their favorite players. Everybody knows about the Mike Trouts and Clayton Kershaws of the world, so what you need to do stand out is find those hidden gems on each roster to propel yourself to fantasy greatness. I am going to go through each MLB roster to find at least one underrated player who will have you looking like a genius at the end of the season.

Today, we start the series with an oft-forgotten division, the AL Central.

Chicago White Sox - Tim Anderson
Tim Anderson had a really nice rookie year for any position but especially for a shortstop. He was a fairly well thought of prospect, and still, he barely makes ESPN's top 300 and is only ranked the 24th best shortstop. Now, yes, his BABIP was unsustainable as that .375 number is probably not going to hold up, but with his speed and batted ball profile, it is likely to remain above average. There's also a good chance that he can reduce his K% to make more contact meaning the BABIP won't have to remain quite as hight. On top of this, he managed 49 stolen bases in AA in 2015, and I think he could see a decent spike in those stolen base numbers this year. There is a lot of depth at shortstop this year, and outside of the top 5 (Machado, Correa, Seager, Lindor, Bogaerts), are you totally confident that any of them will definitely outproduce Anderson? I'm not, and considering where he's ranked, he'll make an excellent late-round addition.

Cleveland Indians - Cody Allen
Poor Cody Allen. He is a guy who is underestimated not by anything that he did, but because his teammate is Andrew Miller, possibly the most dominant reliever in all of baseball. Since most teams use their most dominant reliever in the closer role, everyone goes into this season that Allen will lose his job. Is it possible? Of course, but Allen has been a pretty darn good reliever these last few years, and one of Miller's greatest attributes is his versatility. Terry Francona is going to do everything eh can to keep Allen in the closer role, and he's likely to produce top-10 results with top-5 upside while currently only ranked as the 19th best relief pitcher. Drafting closers is rarely sexy, but it can still be valuable.

Detroit Tigers - Justin Upton
If I can justify selecting a brother (non-racist way), I'm going to do it. My fascination with drafting brothers in fantasy is a long and sordid affair that almost never works out for me. It started with the Giles brothers, drifted to the Drews, and finally made it to the Uptons. Despite it usually doing me more harm than good, I still always enjoy my experience. But I do believe this is a good year to buy in on Upton. Although he started off poorly for the Tigers, he lowered his strikeout rate and hit 22 home runs in 68 games during the second half last year. I think he's far closer to that second half player for the whole season this year. Although he's ranked in the 60s, I think he can produce at least that if not be up in the top-40 at the end of the year.

Kansas City Royals - Jorge Soler
Joe Maddon said he was Vladimir Guerrero with better plate discipline. That comment will never die in my head, and that means I will end up with Jorge Soler for the next ten years in fantasy baseball by drafting him 100 spots before anyone else. I'm kind of serious. He's ranked 260 right now. I will be at least considering him at 160. Dominant relievers are more highly valued than ever before, and the Royals were happy to trade one of the most dominant relievers for Jorge Soler. Clearly, they believe in him; clearly, I believe in him, and, guys...VLAD GUERRERO WITH BETTER PLATE DISCIPLINE.

Minnesota Twins - Byron Buxton
I'll admit this pick could be a year too early, but Buxton still gives plenty to dream on. Even though Buxton was drafted in 2012, he has far less minor league experience than other people from that draft as injuries have cut short a lot of his time, and he had that compounded by being brought up to the major leagues before he was ready. Still, he struggled in the majors, got sent down, raked in AAA, and showed improvement when he got called back up. It wasn't huge, but he hit some more homers, doubled his walk rate, and slightly improved on the strikeouts. If he can continue to lower that strikeout percentage, it is going to improve every aspect of his game, as just putting the ball in play makes him dangerous with his speed. If the power continues to blossom, you're looking at a true five-tool player. I'm not sure if that's going to happen, especially in 2017, but there were enough positive signs to make him worth the risk late in the draft.

Rewatching Game Seven and Rediscovering My Chicago Cubs Fandom

Not sure if you heard about this in between all of the celebrity deaths and a nincompoop winning the presidential election, but the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. This is a pretty big deal, because it had been quite a while since they had won one of those. People in Chicago were pumped; in fact, people all over the country were pumped as the number of Cubs fans have increased exponentially over the last two years. I'm not sure what caused that, but everybody loves the Cubbies these days.

I am a lifelong Cubs fan. I remember those years where Les Lancaster was a legitimate reliever, when I thought Rick Wilkins was a legit catcher, when Mickey Morandini and Jeff Blauser were a legitimate combo up the middle, when Brant Brown was a thing, when the Cubs acquried my favorite non-Cub, Rich Harden, and thought for sure that the drought was over (they got swept in the first round of the playoffs). I could probably list at least another 500 things I remember about this stupid team, as I have spent an unhealthy amount of time watching and thinking about the Chicago Cubs.

A few years ago, I moved away from the Midwest to Florida to set up permanent shop. I remembered the essentials, like my wife and my dog, but admittedly, my entire Cubs fandom didn't make the trip. I'm an adult in Florida, and not even near a stadium that the Cubs make a trip to every year. It's just hard to keep up that level of fandom, so I didn't. I mean, I still followed along, knew everything that was happening, but I wasn't there. I was here, away from things.

I watched the playoff games, but I'll admit, I fell asleep before the last out for most of them. This didn't really bother me too much, as it was actually a pretty boring postseason. People forget that the World Series games kind of stunk until Game Seven. That game was amazing, but I was out of town on business, and I had been up since 4:00 AM. By the time the first pitch was thrown, I had been up for over 16 hours and was working for 12 of those hours. I watched the first half of the game around strangers before retiring to my hotel room to watch the rest in the comfort of my temporary bed. I managed to stay awake until the end, but by the time it was over, I used my last bit of energy to whisper "Awesome" before rolling over and falling asleep. It was not the raucous celebration I imagined.

That bummed me out. I loved the Cubs, but I wasn't sure if I still loved the Cubs. I mean, it should have meant more. A couple weeks later I went home and visited my family. I tried to talk to my Grandma about the Cubs winning the World Series, but she has been having health troubles, and at 96, she really didn't have the mental or physical strength to really take it all in. I think we were both left with an empty feeling. It made me wonder if it's all worth it.

Let's face it. It's probably not. We don't care about sports because it's the logical decision. We spit in the face of logic when we cheer for players and teams, and that's part of the fun. Escaping the rational world to act irrationally and passionately about things that shouldn't actually matter in our day-to-day lives.

I wanted that stupid feeling. I needed to try to find it. So I waited a few months, and last week, I rewatched the final game of the World Series in its entirety, from the pregame analysis from Joe Buck, to the ups and downs, the rain delay, and the celebration. I wasn't sure if it would matter, but I at least wanted to try.

The first batter of the game was Dexter Fowler, and even though I remembered how that at bat ended, it didn't stop me from getting goosebumps when he launched the ball over the center field fence. It wasn't the home run itself, but it was the moment after Fowler rounded first base during his home run trot to turn backwards and point at the Cubs dugout as half of the crowd was erupting in cheers.

I was hooked.

Usually, I'll read a lot while watching baseball games, because baseball games are rather uneventful, but despite this game being two months old, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Here were the most affecting moments during the game.

Good - Dexter Fowler home run
I already talked about this one.

Good - Jose Ramirez being picked off
Because there were a lot of big moments, I feel like this is going to get overlooked as time goes on, but picking off a runner is enough of a rarity where it felt special, like nothing was going to go wrong for the Cubs and destiny (the abstract idea, not the stripper) could take them to the title.

Bad - Javier Baez dropped ball when trying to turn a double play
The Indians had just tied the game at one, and Baez dropped what could have been an inning ending double play. Instead the Indians had two runners on and one out. All of my confidence from Fowler's home run and the pickoff move were gone.

Good - Kris Bryant's base running
Kris Bryant's two runs involved some of the best baserunning of the postseason. He scored on a very shallow fly ball that Rajai Davis misplayed to not give himself momentum into his throw and Bryant was barely able to slide under the tag. Then, when he managed to score from first on an Anthony Rizzo single, because of a hit and run, that was just incredible. The Cubs took a 4-1 lead shortly after that, and things were looking rosy yet again.

Bad - The passed ball that caused two runs to score
The Cubs were up 5-1 and in control and for some reason, they pulled Kyle Hendricks after allowing a two out walk in the fifth. They were almost too into the idea of Lester being a postseason hero, so they brought him in, and he gave up two runs on a David Ross passed ball when Kipnis hustled all the way from second to score on the play. It was then 5-3 and the Cubs inevitable World Series win didn't feel inevitable anymore.

Good - David Ross home run
Uh, yeah, if old ass David Ross is hitting a bomb, then yeah, I'd say this one is in the bag.

Bad - Rajai Davis home run to tie the game
I watched this two months later, and when Rajai Davis hit that home run, my hear legitimately sank into my stomach. Against all logic, I felt sickness when I saw that ball exit the park knowing full well that the Cubs still won the game. I knew what happened, and I couldn't help that feeling.

This was my favorite moment when rewatching the game, because this is when I knew that it still mattered. Yeah, I know it doesn't matter as much as it did in 1998 when I cried after the Cubs got swept by the Braves. And yeah, it probably doesn't matter as much as it did six years later when I got goosebumps when Glenallen Hill told me that had they gotten past the Braves, they would have won the World Series. But it still matters.

After that, there were obviously still more good moments. But it wasn't the baseball that stood out. When Zobrist hit the double to help the Cubs take the lead, the part that stood out most was Rizzo with his hands on his helmet in disbelief as he stood on third. And the replay of Zobrist leaping into second base out of pure excitement. It wasn't Montero's RBI single, it was the dugout erupting in cheers as it happened, and Montero turning to scream in their direction after reaching first.

And then there was the final out. The out was great, but the reaction is what really brought it home. The Chicago Cubs had finally won the World Series. My Chicago Cubs.

The Best and Worst of My 2016 Fantasy Baseball Draft - Part 3

Hey everybody, baseball is here. Last week, I had my fantasy baseball draft, and it sure was a doozy. Unfortunately, this past weekend was also WrestleMania, so I didn't have time to write about it before the season started. Still, people need to know whether their draft was good, bad, or ugly, so I'll be focusing on the best picks, the worst picks, and my pick in each round. It's super simple this year, just a straight 5X5 head-to-head 10 team league with 29 rounds. Who did the best? Me, probably. Who did the worst? I don't know. Part one was published last Monday, part two came out last Tuesday, and now for the long-awaited, exciting conclusion.

ROUND 21
201 Jonathan Papelbon, Wsh RP Joc Jams Volume 1
202 Hector Olivera, Atl 3B Team Asaysian
203 Trevor Story, Col SS The Nasty Boys
204 Eduardo Escobar, Min SS Team GreinkMyCrank
205 Collin McHugh, Hou SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
206 Denard Span, SF OF Regular Ass Joel
207 Marcus Semien, Oak SS   Team Pedigree
208 Wil Myers, SD OF Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
209 Alex Wood, LAD SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
210 Steven Souza Jr., TB OF Total Jocs

Best Pick: Alex Wood
I thought Alex Wood was a steal in the trade the Dodgers made last year, and although he wasn't all that impressive when he came over, I think he puts it together with a full season in the rotation.

Worst Pick: Denard Span
Although the stat nerds like him, I'm not buying an aging Denard Span to stay effective and healthy this year.

My Pick: Marcus Semien
Full disclosure: I know next to nothing about Marcus Semien. I'm pretty sure he was with the White Sox, but then got traded to the Athletics, and I'm kind of guessing it was part of the Samardzija deal. I don't know what type of year he had last year, but I saw half of the fantasy "experts" predict that he would have a breakout year this season, so I'm really hoping they're right.

ROUND 22
211 Delino DeShields, Tex OF Total Jocs
212 Khris Davis, Oak OF Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
213 Andrew Miller, NYY RP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
214 Lance McCullers, Hou SP   Team Pedigree
215 Justin Bour, Mia 1B Regular Ass Joel
216 Gerardo Parra, Col OF Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
217 Vincent Velasquez, Phi RP Team GreinkMyCrank
218 Alex Gordon, KC OF The Nasty Boys
219 Michael Conforto, NYM OF Team Asaysian
220 Brad Ziegler, Ari RP Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Michael Conforto
I like the Conforto pick as a nice upside play this late in the draft. He hit well last year, and this is a point where hitters are becoming scarce, so it's a nice grab in the 22nd.

Worst Pick: Justin Bour
I'm guessing he'll be dropped before May.

My Pick: Lance McCullers
McCullers had some shoulder issues this spring, but it doesn't appear to be serious, and I'm hoping the Astros are just being extra cautious. He came up last year and was incredible, as his changeup took a huge leap forward, and he became one of the more effective young pitchers in the game. He's a little undersized, but as we all know, height doesn't measure heart.

ROUND 23
221 Sean Doolittle, Oak RP Joc Jams Volume 1
222 Drew Storen, Tor RP Team Asaysian
223 Shawn Tolleson, Tex RP The Nasty Boys
224 Devin Mesoraco, Cin C Team GreinkMyCrank
225 Joe Ross, Wsh SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
226 Clay Buchholz, Bos SP Regular Ass Joel
227 Marcell Ozuna, Mia OF   Team Pedigree
228 Kyle Hendricks, ChC SP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
229 Anthony DeSclafani, Cin SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
230 Andrew Heaney, LAA SP Total Jocs

Best Pick: Sean Doolittle
Getting a solid closer this late is a good get.

Worst Pick: Drew Storen
Getting a setup guy this early is not a good get. He has already been dropped.

My Pick: Marcell Ozuna
I'm a big believer in the Marlins outfield this year, because I trust in their hitting coach. He actually played in the major leagues but is not real well known, but I think the guy understands hitting, and I think Ozuna will benefit the most as he Barries balls into the stands while Bonding with his teammates.

ROUND 24
231 Roberto Osuna, Tor RP Total Jocs
232 Juan Nicasio, Pit RP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
233 Nick Castellanos, Det 3B Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
234 Jorge Soler, ChC OF   Team Pedigree
235 Aaron Nola, Phi SP Regular Ass Joel
236 Jonathan Schoop, Bal 2B Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
237 Santiago Casilla, SF RP Team GreinkMyCrank
238 Devon Travis, Tor 2B The Nasty Boys
239 Matt Holliday, StL OF Team Asaysian
240 Mitch Moreland, Tex 1B Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Aaron Nola
He's just a solid pitcher. He's never going to be a top pitcher, but he's got a pretty good chance to be a top 150 guy as long as he stays healthy.

Worst Pick: Matt Holliday
I've gone over this numerous times, but Matt Holliday is a traitor to this country and is likely the most reprehensible human being in all of professional baseball. He let his country down in the inaugural World Baseball Classic by faking an injury, and according to reliable sources, he's a douchebag.

My Pick: Jorge Soler
Jorge Soler is not in a great spot right now. There are four good outfielders on the Cubs, and I think they only plan to play three outfielders every day. But I have been a huge Soler fan for a while, and although he was bad last year, he did set the world on fire during the playoffs. I believe in playoffs Soler, and I think he has the ability to get more playing time than people are expecting.

ROUND 25
241 Danny Valencia, Oak 3B Joc Jams Volume 1
242 Trevor Bauer, Cle SP Team Asaysian
243 Joey Gallo, Tex OF The Nasty Boys
244 Domingo Santana, Mil OF Team GreinkMyCrank
245 Steve Cishek, Sea RP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
246 Alcides Escobar, KC SS Regular Ass Joel
247 Matt Moore, TB SP   Team Pedigree
248 Arodys Vizcaino, Atl RP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
249 Phil Hughes, Min SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
250 Kevin Kiermaier, TB OF Total Jocs

Best Pick: Steve Cishek
I think he can keep the closer role. At this point, anybody who has that sort of role guaranteed to start the year is a good find.

Worst Pick: Danny Valencia
He's a platoon bat at best, and even that may be giving him too much credit.

My Pick: Matt Moore
I picked up Matt Moore last year, and he imploded as much as any one man could. But then he hit the minors and came back with a vengeance. His velocity picked up, and with that, so did the strikeouts. I'm betting on that latter Moore showing up, and if so, this is excellent value for this late in the draft.

ROUND 26
251 Bradley Zimmer, Cle OF Total Jocs
252 Edinson Volquez, KC SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
253 Kevin Gausman, Bal SP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
254 Chris Carter, Mil 1B   Team Pedigree
255 Dexter Fowler, ChC OF Regular Ass Joel
256 Jason Hammel, ChC SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
257 Tyler Glasnow, Pit SP Team GreinkMyCrank
258 Nathan Karns, Sea SP The Nasty Boys
259 Yasmany Tomas, Ari OF Team Asaysian
260 J.J. Hoover, Cin RP Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Kevin Gausman
I was a little bummed to miss out on Gausman as he provides some great upside at this point in the draft. Still, he teased it last year and didn't come through, and he's already hurting this year, so there is risk, but it's worth it for the possible reward.

Worst Pick: Bradley Zimmer
He's starting off in the minors, and this isn't the sort of talent that set the world on fire in the minor leagues where you would expect him to start dominating at the major league level. He'll probably be fine when he gets called up, but holding on to a guy for 2-3 months for a fine performance seems counter productive to me.

My Pick: Chris Carter
I like big sluggers, and I ain't worried about strikeouts. Hence, Chris Carter is one of my favorite players in baseball.

ROUND 27
261 Ian Kennedy, KC SP Joc Jams Volume 1
262 Jimmy Nelson, Mil SP Team Asaysian
263 Josh Reddick, Oak OF The Nasty Boys
264 Trevor Plouffe, Min 3B Team GreinkMyCrank
265 Jeremy Jeffress, Mil RP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
266 Zack Wheeler, NYM SP Regular Ass Joel
267 Aaron Sanchez, Tor RP   Team Pedigree
268 Jean Segura, Ari SS Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
269 Wade Miley, Sea SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
270 Jerad Eickhoff, Phi SP Total Jocs

Best Pick: Jean Segura
I'm a big Segura fan as the only real issue he had last year was a poor BABIP for a guy with his speed and hitting at the bottom of the order, so he wasn't able to rack up counting stats. Both of those may change in a more hitter friendly environment, especially with the injuries the Diamondbacks are dealing with. If certain middle infielders hadn't fallen my way, I would have been happy to add him to my team.

Worst Pick: Ian Kennedy
The Royals have infiltrated some of the Cardinals Devil Magic, but I'll say that it runs out for them, and they do look as stupid as the experts say they are for signing Kennedy.

My Pick: Aaron Sanchez
I saw that Sanchez is getting a shot in the rotation this year for the Blue Jays, and he has a lot of upside for a pitcher, and if he starts off slow, it's no big deal as I can just snag somebody off of the waiver wire.

ROUND 28
271 Jarrod Dyson, KC OF Total Jocs
272 Andrew Cashner, SD SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
273 Brad Boxberger, TB RP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
274 Yan Gomes, Cle C   Team Pedigree
275 Stephen Vogt, Oak C Regular Ass Joel
276 Rajai Davis, Cle OF Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
277 Melky Cabrera, CWS OF Team GreinkMyCrank
278 Adam Lind, Sea 1B The Nasty Boys
279 Jose Reyes, Col SS Team Asaysian
280 Joe Mauer, Min 1B Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Andrew Cashner
He was good enough to be traded for Anthony Rizzo, so that's got to mean something.

Worst Pick: Jose Reyes
I know it's fantasy and everything, but you've got to feel a little icky rooting for this guy. I know no charges are going to be pressed, and people should be innocent until proven guilty, but I don't know man. I didn't even bring this up with Aroldis, but he definitely falls in the same boat. Friends don't let friends draft Jose Reyes.

My Pick: Yan Gomes
What do you want from me? I needed a catcher. Gomes plays catcher. A couple years ago he was good; I hope he is good again.

ROUND 29
281 Ervin Santana, Min SP Joc Jams Volume 1
282 Bartolo Colon, NYM SP Team Asaysian
283 Hector Santiago, LAA SP The Nasty Boys
284 Lucas Giolito, Wsh SP Team GreinkMyCrank
285 Nathan Eovaldi, NYY SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
286 Erick Aybar, Atl SS Regular Ass Joel
287 Tyler White, Hou 3B   Team Pedigree
288 Matt Wieters, Bal C Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
289 Drew Pomeranz, SD RP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
290 Jackie Bradley Jr., Bos OF Total Jocs

Best Pick: Jackie Bradley Jr.
If things had fallen differently, I may have drafted Bradley, but they didn't, so I didn't. But I wouldn't be surprised if he solved his batting average problems and became valuable fantasy contributor.

Worst Pick: Bartolo Colon
Come on, man.

My Pick: Tyler White
Due to my connections within the industry, I have it on good authority that the Astros front office is very excited about Tyler White's potential. Now, this could mean he's going to be a new age John Olerud on offense, but, admittedly, it could just mean that he is a 33rd round pick that made the major leagues which is still pretty fantastic from a front office perspective. Anyway, he's got a starting first base job, and if he continues to hit like he has at every level of professional level, he could keep it for quite a while.

OVERALL STANDINGS
After breaking everything down, its time to look at who is going to be my greatest challenger. I'll give best picks two points and worst picks negative one point. Meanwhile, my picks will always get three points, because they are better than the best. With that scoring system, here is how the final standings should look this season.

1. Team Pedigree - 97 points
2. Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$ - 12 points
3. The Nasty Boys - 7 Points
4. Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation - 6 Points
5. Team GreinkMyCrank 6-1 - 5 Points
6. Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs - 1 Point
7. Total Jocs - 0 Points
8. Regular Ass Joel - 0 Points
9. Joc Jams Volume 1 - 0 Points
10. Team Asaysian - -2 Points

So, there you have it. After 29 rounds (expanded from 25 since we only had 10 teams, and oh god did this review make me long for a 12 team league again), my team is clearly the cream of the crop. I shall rise to the top. I'm funky like a monkey, and too cool for school. And one thing for certain, when it comes to fantasy, I'm the man to see.

Are the Cubs Too Good to Be Lovable?

The Cubs are talented this year. Like, super duper talented. To the point that many people are picking them to win the World Series. As a lifelong Cubs fan, it's a little weird, as this is not what I have come to expect from the Cubs. The Cubs will forever be the Cubs of the 1990s. Teams that had unforgettably fun players but not necessarily good players. They had a miraculous run in 1998, and then had some nice runs in the early-mid 2000s behind some of the highest potential pitchers who never all came together at the same time before things fell apart. And then the Cubs dipped into that safe space of being bad.

Then the Cubs got new ownership who brought in Theo Epstein (and friends) and although the major league roster continued to suck, they were building something. And last year that something came together to get the Cubs to the NLCS. Even as a Cubs fan, I couldn't believe the jump they made in one season and how their young players performed. It was a crazy year, and I was only a little sad when the Mets pitching annihilated them.

So now the Cubs enter 2016 as the favorite to win the World Series. That's pretty dang cool. But the Cubs as a favorite doesn't seem like a Cubs team at all. They were the lovable losers. Now that they look like winners, do they lose their lovability as well? Unfortunately, the answer to that question is yes.

The lovable losers no longer apply to the Cubs. You loved them like a guy that you'd loan $20 knowing that we'd never get paid back. You loved them in the way that their failures made you feel okay with your own shortcomings. You loved them with no fear, knowing they weren't going anywhere, because they had nowhere else to go. You loved them as a friend. A best friend.

You can't love a Cubs team that is this talented like that. But that doesn't mean that this team can't be loved. You can't love this team like a friend. This is a team you love with passion. This is a team that fills you with lust. I mean, just look at Kris Bryant.

This man doesn't look into your eyes; he looks into your soul. This team makes you doubt everything you've ever known, because it doesn't make sense. This is a team that keeps you up at night wondering if this could actually be real.

But it is real, and it is wonderful. And you realize that it's time to let go of your inhibitions and love completely, even though, logically, you know this could break your heart. And oh god, you pray that this doesn't end in heartbreak, but you can't fight the way you feel. You're going to love them day and night, so you may as well spend as many days and nights with them as possible. Let them overtake you, because, win or lose, each game is a slice of heaven.

And hopefully, at the end of the year, this is that love you never forget.

So, no, these aren't the lovable losers of your childhood. But this Cubs team is definitely still lovable.

The Best and Worst of My 2016 Fantasy Baseball Draft - Part 2

Hey everybody, baseball is here. Last week, I had my fantasy baseball draft, and it sure was a doozy. Unfortunately, this past weekend was also WrestleMania, so I didn't have time to write about it before the season started. Still, people need to know whether their draft was good, bad, or ugly, so I'll be focusing on the best picks, the worst picks, and my pick in each round. It's super simple this year, just a straight 5X5 head-to-head 10 team league with 29 rounds. Who did the best? Me, probably. Who did the worst? I don't know. Part one was published on Monday, but now onto part two.

ROUND 11
101 Elvis Andrus, Tex SS Joc Jams Volume 1
102 Randal Grichuk, StL OF Team Asaysian
103 Anthony Rendon, Wsh 2B The Nasty Boys
104 Gregory Polanco, Pit OF Team GreinkMyCrank
105 Kolten Wong, StL 2B Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
106 Michael Brantley, Cle OF Regular Ass Joel
107 Michael Wacha, StL SP   Team Pedigree
108 Maikel Franco, Phi 3B Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
109 Evan Longoria, TB 3B Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
110 Josh Harrison, Pit 3B Total Jocs

Best Pick: Evan Longoria
Longoria isn't what he used to be, but as an 11th round pick, I can't think of doing much better. Even if he is what he is at this point, he's worth about that, and there is still the chance that he recovers some of his early career form and outproduces this position by quite a bit.

Worst Pick: Randal Grichuk
I'm selling on Grichuk. He struck out a ton last year, and although he might be able to hit 25 home runs, I think it's likely with a .230 average. Does that keep him starting every day, or is he more of a platoon bat at that point? And yes, I do realize that it's crazy to go against Cardinals Devil Magic, but I have a good reason because...

My Pick: Michael Wacha
Wacha's taking all that devil magic for himself this year. Wacha was cruising along before he seemingly ran out of gas at the end of last year. I think he can put together good Wacha for the entire year, and if that's the case, I got myself a nice little pitcher in the 11th round. He's got modest upside with seemingly little downside, so it's not an electrifying pick, but it will be an effective one.

ROUND 12
111 Ketel Marte, Sea SS Total Jocs
112 Shin-Soo Choo, Tex OF Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
113 Aroldis Chapman, NYY RP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
114 Corey Dickerson, TB OF   Team Pedigree
115 Kole Calhoun, LAA OF Regular Ass Joel
116 Cody Allen, Cle RP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
117 Francisco Liriano, Pit SP Team GreinkMyCrank
118 Adam Eaton, CWS OF The Nasty Boys
119 Zach Britton, Bal RP Team Asaysian
120 Evan Gattis, Hou DH Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Adam Eaton
Adam Eaton might be mentally handicapped as he saw a 14-year-old as a leader, but baseball players don't have to be smart to be good. Last year he was good, and he'll probably be good again. I don't see it as a high upside play, but this is the point in the draft where you're just looking for solid contributions from your picks.

Worst Pick: Aroldis Chapman
Chapman may be the best closer in the game, but the dude is dead weight during his suspension, and even when he comes back, it's no guarantee that he is going to be the closer for the Yankees with both Miller and Betances also in the bullpen. The reward could be pretty good, but I think it's far too risky with significant downside early on to take that chance.

My Pick: Corey Dickerson
The Rays are still super smart, right? Oh god, they might be dumb? Well, crap, because this pick was based solely on the Rays being smart and seeing some great value in Dickerson. At this point, it came down to him or Adam Eaton, and I couldn't pull the trigger on the guy who thought a 14-year-old was a leader. I'll admit it's not exciting, but it should be fine for Round 12.

ROUND 13
121 Michael Pineda, NYY SP Joc Jams Volume 1
122 Brandon Crawford, SF SS Team Asaysian
123 Masahiro Tanaka, NYY SP The Nasty Boys
124 Jeurys Familia, NYM RP Team GreinkMyCrank
125 Addison Russell, ChC 2B Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
126 DJ LeMahieu, Col 2B Regular Ass Joel
127 Jeff Samardzija, SF SP   Team Pedigree
128 Kevin Pillar, Tor OF Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
129 Neil Walker, NYM 2B Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
130 Lucas Duda, NYM 1B Total Jocs

Best Pick: Masahiro Tanaka
Since I like to base a ton off of what I see in person, I like the Tanaka pick. He looked like he was keeping hitters off balance when I saw him face off against the Orioles during Spring Training. Was Machado in the lineup? No. How about Chris Davis? No. Adam Jones? Nope. Pedro Alvarez or Mark Trumbo? Nope and nope. Were there any starters in the Orioles lineup? Well, I'm not totally familiar with the Orioles lineup, but no, I don't believe so. But Tanaka did look good, and that's enough for me.

Worst Pick: DJ LeMahieu
I don't have strong takes on this round, but there isn't much in LeMahieu's history to show that he should be a quality major league hitter, so I'll bet on his BABIP dropping and him losing a lot of his value.

My Pick: Jeff Samardzija
I thought Samardzija was going to be really good two years ago and he was. Last year, I didn't have any interest in him, and that turned out to be another good idea. This year, I just kind of threw a dart and figured he'd be good because he was back in the NL and in a very friendly pitcher's park. This may not be my best pick, but once Addison Russell went off the board, I figured a former Cub would have to due.

ROUND 14
131 Ken Giles, Hou RP Total Jocs
132 Ben Zobrist, ChC 2B Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
133 David Robertson, CWS RP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
134 Brett Lawrie, CWS 3B   Team Pedigree
135 Jonathan Lucroy, Mil C Regular Ass Joel
136 Brett Gardner, NYY OF Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
137 Dustin Pedroia, Bos 2B Team GreinkMyCrank
138 Ian Desmond, Tex SS The Nasty Boys
139 Justin Turner, LAD 3B Team Asaysian
140 Mark Melancon, Pit RP Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Ian Desmond
I'm a big believer in the Ian Desmond bounceback year. As long as he can be competent in the outfield, he should be good to go on putting up at least 15-15, and at shortstop, that's going to have some good value, even if the average is only around .260.

Worst Pick: Ken Giles
Ken Giles has been garbage every time I have seen him in spring training (twice), and the fact that the Astros didn't want to totally commit to him as the closer over Luke Gregerson. Even if he gets the closer role, he'll be on a tight leash, and there were plenty of closers in better situations to take at this point in the draft.

My Pick: Brett Lawrie
There are people predicting a breakout for Brett Lawrie. This has happened for five years now, and since 2011, it just hasn't happened. Last year showed a slight uptick in production, and that was when he moved to a pitcher's park. Now he's in a hitter's park, so maybe this is the year. He was the last guy that was second base eligible that I felt comfortable starting, so here we are, ready for the ever elusive Lawrie Breakout.

ROUND 15
141 Justin Verlander, Det SP Joc Jams Volume 1
142 Hector Rondon, ChC RP Team Asaysian
143 A.J. Ramos, Mia RP The Nasty Boys
144 Byron Buxton, Min OF Team GreinkMyCrank
145 Dellin Betances, NYY RP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
146 Jay Bruce, Cin OF Regular Ass Joel
147 Yu Darvish, Tex SP   Team Pedigree
148 Raisel Iglesias, Cin SP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
149 Jordan Zimmermann, Det SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
150 Mark Trumbo, Bal OF Total Jocs

Best Pick: Mark Trumbo
I'm a really big fan of the Orioles offense this year. They have guys like Machado and Adam Jones, but then they have Chris Davis, Mark Trumbo, and Pedro Alvarez. Three huge sluggers who strike out a ton, but crush a ton of baseballs. Like, you might get 120 home runs out of those three guys. Probably more like 100, but still. So yes, I like Trumbo for a bounceback year.

Worst Pick: Jordan Zimmermann
He really fell off last year, and now he's going to the American League and probably isn't going to magically bounce back. I just don't see much upside in this pick and wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't worth owning this year.

My Pick: Yu Darvish
I will fully admit that I may have jumped the gun on snagging Darvish this early, but I really wanted Yu Darvish. He is coming off of a major injury and might be slow to regain his old form, but I think by the end of the year, he's going to be rolling, and that's the time of the year when I need my boy to shine.

ROUND 16
151 Jaime Garcia, StL SP Total Jocs
152 Kendrys Morales, KC DH Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
153 Billy Burns, Oak OF Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
154 Carlos Santana, Cle 1B   Team Pedigree
155 Jung Ho Kang, Pit 3B Regular Ass Joel
156 Ender Inciarte, Atl OF Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
157 Julio Teheran, Atl SP Team GreinkMyCrank
158 Shelby Miller, Ari SP The Nasty Boys
159 Ryan Zimmerman, Wsh 1B Team Asaysian
160 Hisashi Iwakuma, Sea SP Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Julio Teheran
Teheran had a poor year last year, but he's young and will likely bounce back. At worst, he'll probably produce around the 150th most value, but he provides decent upside to become a top 100 guy.

Worst Pick: Jaime Garcia
Would you like to bet on Jaime Garcia staying healthy for the entire season? If so, I will gladly take the other side of that bet.

My Pick: Carlos Santana
I think Santana can hit .270. If he does that with his power, he could be an absolute stud this year. I know he hasn't done it yet, and he's practically Brett Lawrie with people predicting a breakout, but I'm ready for this breakout. And this gives me the added benefit of changing my team name to something involving the song, "Smooth."

ROUND 17
161 Mark Teixeira, NYY 1B Joc Jams Volume 1
162 Steven Matz, NYM SP Team Asaysian
163 Brian McCann, NYY C The Nasty Boys
164 Jake Odorizzi, TB SP Team GreinkMyCrank
165 Jose Quintana, CWS SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
166 Yordano Ventura, KC SP Regular Ass Joel
167 Jake McGee, Col RP   Team Pedigree
168 Curtis Granderson, NYM OF Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
169 Matt Duffy, SF 3B Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
170 Joc Pederson, LAD OF Total Jocs

Best Pick: Jake Odorizzi
Not gonna lie, I was pretty jealous of this pick. Odorizzi has been really good these last two years. His only real issue last year was an injury, but it wasn't serious, and I don't see any reason to think he's more injury prone than any other pitcher. He's probably going to be very good, and I wish he was on my team.

Worst Pick: Curtis Granderson
Granderson seems to do just enough to keep people believing in him. Last year, he had that year that made people believe, so it should inevitably be followed by a couple years where people ask themselves why they were buying into Curtis Granderson. I will not buy into you Curtis, but keep getting paid, playa.

My Pick: Jake McGee
I needed a closer. McGee is a closer. I'm aware that he plays in Colorado, which isn't great, but if Huston Street can be just as effective, I see no reason McGee can't do the same.

ROUND 18
171 Anibal Sanchez, Det SP Total Jocs
172 Drew Smyly, TB SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
173 Starlin Castro, NYY SS Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
174 Gio Gonzalez, Wsh SP   Team Pedigree
175 Logan Forsythe, TB 2B Regular Ass Joel
176 Kenta Maeda, LAD SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
177 Francisco Rodriguez, Det RP Team GreinkMyCrank
178 Huston Street, LAA RP The Nasty Boys
179 Salvador Perez, KC C Team Asaysian
180 Mike Moustakas, KC 3B Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Drew Smyly
Smyly somehow rehabbed an injury and avoided surgery when everyone thought he was going to have to have surgery. So there is definite risk, but when he is healthy, he's a really good pitcher, and this is the point where it makes sense to take chances on guys like that.

Worst Pick: Francisco Rodriguez
Wasn't he supposed to be done as a top-level reliever like four years ago? I'm not buying into this whole smoke and mirrors version of K-Rod. I'm going to bet that he's either injured or ineffective, neither of which is a good thing.

My Pick: Gio Gonzalez
I was trying to get Gio Gonzalez for most of the season last year. I finally got him with like a month left in the year, and he did not magically become the pitcher I thought he'd be. But maybe this year he will be. I think he can cut down on the walks and hits he gave up, and if he does that, he could turn back into the #2 pitcher that people thought he was going into last year. If not, he's still not that bad of an 18th round pick.

ROUND 19
181 Travis d'Arnaud, NYM C Joc Jams Volume 1
182 Victor Martinez, Det DH Team Asaysian
183 Mike Fiers, Hou SP The Nasty Boys
184 Joe Panik, SF 2B Team GreinkMyCrank
185 Russell Martin, Tor C Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
186 Howie Kendrick, LAD 2B Regular Ass Joel
187 Glen Perkins, Min RP   Team Pedigree
188 Pedro Alvarez, Bal 1B Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
189 John Lackey, ChC SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
190 Brad Miller, TB SS Total Jocs

Best Pick: Pedro Alvarez
Like I said in Round 15, I love the Orioles offense, and a bounceback from Pedro Alvarez is a big reason why.

Worst Pick: Victor Martinez
I bet against Victor Martinez two years ago, and he made me look like a butthole. I bet against him last year and had my revenge. Now it's time for the tiebreaker. You will not be good this year, Victor Martinez, and if you are, well, I'll bet against you again next year.

My Pick: Glen Perkins
Alvarez was a guy I really wanted but my computer started messing up, so I got my phone fired up just in time to draft, but I just wanted to make sure I didn't get stuck with a jabroni, so I took the highest rated guy in my queue. Alvarez was waiting just a little ways down, but I'm actually pretty happy with Perkins as he is a closer that I have a lot of confidence in.

ROUND 20
191 Stephen Piscotty, StL OF Total Jocs
192 Scott Kazmir, LAD SP Team VottoEroticAsphyxiation
193 Patrick Corbin, Ari SP Back 2 Take Yo Lunch $$
194 Carlos Rodon, CWS SP   Team Pedigree
195 Alex Rodriguez, NYY DH Regular Ass Joel
196 Luis Severino, NYY SP Blackmon Have McHugh Gardner Wongs
197 Taijuan Walker, Sea SP Team GreinkMyCrank
198 James Shields, SD SP The Nasty Boys
199 Mike Leake, StL SP Team Asaysian
200 Wei-Yin Chen, Mia SP Joc Jams Volume 1

Best Pick: Taijuan Walker
Walker turned it on after a really rough start early in the year. If he had just been in the minors before he put things together, he would have been drafted about seven rounds earlier, but his rough start skewed his final numbers, and this is a nice pick for round 20.

Worst Pick: Scott Kazmir
I doubt I will ever buy into a post-prime improvement from someone, and Kazmir has proved me wrong the last few years, but I'll bet on the magic running out this season.

My Pick: Carlos Rodon

Rodon was incredibly underrated by ESPN's rankings, so he fell to Round 20. That is a huge blessing for me, as Rodon has the raw stuff to emerge as one of the best pitchers in the American League. I'm not betting on all that happening this year, but I do think he takes a step in that direction.

And so goes part two. Part 3 will be coming in the next couple days.