The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 1

For the WWE, the Countdown to the Millennium came a few months early (and technically, a year and a few months early) as it arrived on August 9th, 1999 with the debut of Y2J, Chris Jericho. Everybody remembers the debut of Y2J as it is one of those transcendent moments that is still talked about nearly 20 years later. It helped that there was a countdown for weeks in advance; it helped that it came during the middle of a promo from The Rock, and it helped that Jericho is one of those wrestlers who doesn't just have fans, he has fanatics. If you need a refresher on the moment, take a gander below.

Even though The Rock shut up Jericho, Y2J got his revenge later in the night when he interfered in The Rock's match with The Big Show and helped Mr. Ass beat up The Rock. Maybe the most important takeaway from all of this is that yes, the WWE had a lot of stupid names during the attitude era.

The debut was obviously great, but today, I want to focus on what happened after the debut. There was a ton of momentum with Jericho coming in, but it's not like he immediately took the belt off Stone Cold Steve Austin and become the top guy in the company, so where did Jericho go from here?

Well, the next week he kept the momentum going as he interrupted The Undertaker and The Big Show which was a true "Save Us Jericho" moment as Undertaker should never speak for more than 30 seconds. He rightfully called The Undertaker "the personification of boredom." Still, it ended much like Jericho's first segment where Jericho went on his rant about saving WWE, but the WWE stalwart got the last word.

He then went on to SummerSlam to talk trash to Road Dogg, and it goes exactly like all of Jericho's previous interactions where he lambastes the stalwart WWE Superstar, and the WWE Superstar gets the last word in. Maybe the best part is when Road Dogg gets on commentary right after and admits to not owning a computer. Back then, computers were for nerds. But in a matter of a couple weeks, Jericho has gone from feuding with The Rock to The Undertaker to The Road Dogg.

Well, at least there is nowhere to go from there but up. Haha, nope, the next night he interfered in a hardcore match with Road Dogg and Al Snow. After that, Y2J needed to use Howard Finkel, who was basically being cast as a poor man's Ralphus, as bait so he could get one up on Road Dogg. And he did this all in Ames, Iowa.

Jericho finally had his first WWE match on the very first episode of Smackdown. Jericho lost the match by disqualification after putting Road Dogg through a table. After the match, he put the Walls of Jericho on Road Dogg while he was passed out on the broken table, and the entire crowd cheered the nefarious heel. Since submissions hurt far more if they are done on a table, this injured the Road Dogg, leaving Jericho to move onto his next feud.

Later in the show, Jericho saved Howard Finkel from a Ken Shamrock beatdown by hitting Shamrock with a chair before sprinting away. This led to Jericho tricking Shamrock into fighting him in a parking lot where Jericho beat him down with a shovel. Then, in a very underrated moment that I wish would have become a thing, he made Howard Finkel take polaroids of him while he had Shamrock locked in the Walls of Jericho. Finally, Jericho agreed to meet Ken Shamrock face-to-face at the following week's Smackdown.

The biggest thing that came from this was the firing of Howard Finkel as Jericho could not depend on The Fink and needed to find better help.

And so Jericho brought in Mr. Hughes. That gave him protection against Ken Shamrock without any worries of personality, so he got dressed up like this.

Before Jericho could get his hands on Shamrock, he had a match with Mr. Ass, another heel, for some reason which just showed how little WWE actually cared about Jericho's impact.

Instead of waiting until a PPV for Shamrock's first match with Jericho, they instead had Jericho take him on in a first blood match on the Smackdown immediately before INSERT PPV. Jericho wore full hockey gear to protect himself, and thanks to help from Curtis Hughes, was able to win the match by causing Ken Shamrock internal bleeding. Ken Shamrock LOVED to internally bleed. And this, yes, a comedy match, on a random Smackdown, with Jericho making him bleed with a splash while wearing hockey gear, would be Ken Shamrock's last match in the WWE.

Chris Jericho's first real feud ended with no hoopla and limited buildup, but he did technically retire Ken Shamrock. Would Jericho use this momentum to take him to new heights? LOL, it gets WAY worse from here, but I'll tackle that next time.

A Spambot Wrote Something Better Than Shakespeare

You know the phrase, if you gave an infinite amount of monkeys an infinite amount of typewriters, eventually, they would recreate the works of Shakespeare. Well, this theory has now been tested in real life, as there are basically infinite spambots posting to infinite websites, and one of these has not only matched Shakespeare, but have far exceeded his works in just one single post. A spambot under the name of Judith Leighton produced this masterpiece that is so beautiful that I have to break it down line by line.

FOOTBALL
What a hook. I like football, so now I must read more. But at this point, if you think you have any idea where this is going, oh man, let me assure you that you have absolutely no idea.

Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA 
The beauty of this entire post is that it almost makes sense. Like, upon first read, you're kind of thinking that you read it wrong, but then you read it again, and it is most definitely the fault of the writer, in this case, a Spambot. Like football has video games, and it is around the United States, and it kind of involves basketball, because look at successful tight ends like Jimmy Graham and Antonio Gates. 

The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey.
The game of basketball being summed up as NHL Handbags combined with MLB Hockey may be the greatest diss a sport has ever received. It's not real NHL, it's handbag NHL, aka lady NHL, which is a bit sexist. And combining that with major league baseball players participating in hockey.

Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups.
And this is where shit goes off the rails. I really want to start referring to the NFL as "your countrywide footballing category." NFL players really are just a specialized hockey group; can't argue with that.

There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL,
God, I am so excited for you to find out the two people inside American football.

Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
Ah yes, the famous two people, Indigenous Football and Little League Summit. You can't talk pigskin without bringing up these two, battling it out on the court, working to score a goal in the other's home plate purse. Beautiful stuff.

Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312.
The first sentence shows that Judith clearly knows her sports. It is normally the most used activity. Abnormally, it will not be. But that second sentence has been the one that has really perplexed me. The number of people in the NFL can be 19, 510, or 312. Those are certainly all numbers, but outside of 19 being Joe Montana's number on the Kansas City Chiefs, I cannot think of any significance in the others. I looked up career interception and touchdown leaders, and it's close, but not quite right. Much like Shakespeare, it is impossible to fully understand everything.

Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.
Well, this is something we can all agree on as I am already anticipating the next Super Run. It showed that she's a true sports observer and was the perfect way to end her post. Thank you, Judith Leighton, for trying to get me to click on weird internet sites and using a really bad translator system to do it. I appreciate everything about your post. And for my readers, here is that post in its entirety.

FOOTBALL Football is about the several major video game titles trialled around The united states involving NBA The game of basketball, NHL Handbags together with MLB Hockey. Your Country wide Footballing Category (NFL) is a specialized North american hockey group in addition to it’s made from thirty-two matchups. There are actually two people inside AMERICAN FOOTBAL, Indigenous Football Summit in addition to Us Little league Summit.
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Right now sports is normally the most used activity in north america. The whole number of people of which joined in NFL mmorpgs with 2015 can be 19, 510, 312. Super Run will be the most-watched television plans around National history.

Which Sport Has The Dumbest Athletes?

Athletes are very physically gifted. People want to talk about hard work and grit, but even your Danny Woodheads are far greater natural athletes than anyone you know. The good news is there is balance in this world where they are also very dumb. This does not include all athletes, as there are some chosen few who are incredibly gifted and self-aware and intelligent people. But even these people realize that most athletes are very stupid human beings. Still, their specific skills have led them to incredible riches, so good for them. Still, I wanted to take a look at which athletes are the dumbest of the dumb. Let's count it down from ten.

10. Soccer
I'm not necessarily a soccer fan, but soccer players seem like they have this whole thing figured out. Their sport is pretty safe, and they make tons of money off of it. Plus, it is a worldwide sport, so they have their pick of the litter when it comes to females around the world. The great thing about it is that there are so many levels of soccer that they can just go to different countries with worse soccer leagues, and be treated like a god until they're finally in the MLS where they compete against local elementary school teams.

This doesn't even include the flopping, which is very smart. You get credit for faking injuries, and then once the referee punishes the other team, you can just go about your day like you weren't acting like you got shot a minute ago. But hot chicks and plenty of outlets to continue to make lots of money. That's a smart sport to get into.

Oh, and just so I'm not too nice to soccer, this sport is balanced out by their fans who are probably the dumbest people on the planet. They murder people over soccer; that is very, very dumb. Stop doing that, soccer fans.

9. Tennis
Tennis players have it pretty great. They travel the world, stay in 5-star accommodations, and make really good money for what is not a physically taxing sport AT ALL. And then when it's all over, they can fade into a normal life. You know what Pete Sampras is up to these days? I sure as hell don't, because tennis players just get to go on and live their lives. The only reason they didn't get the smartest athletes is that Andre Agassi not only wore a wig, but he wore a mullet wig for years. Like, he made that decision.

8. Hockey
Hockey is a pretty violent sport, but there isn't a ton of tragedy in it, and they get to live as normal human beings. They can just kind of cruise around and be normal guys, but then they can get around beautiful women, casually drop that they are professional hockey players and easily seduce a girl that Mystery was running a gambit on before he even has a chance to do a magic trick.

7. Pro Wrestlers
I would have put pro wrestlers as the smartest if there wasn't such a crazy death rate. They're the only athletes that are actually expected to talk intelligently, so they all have to have a decent amount of brains in their heads. Unfortunately, there's simply too many tragedies of head trauma and guys thinking they're invincible to put them in a better spot.

6. Golfers
Golfers are incredibly far up their own ass. That more makes them pricks than stupid, but trust me, these are stupid pricks. Golfers are all secretly and sometimes outwardly racist, and they seem to hate women. Also, any sport that has people trying to hold onto "honor" and "integrity" is a sport full of morons. The thing that saves them is a lack of any physicality in the sport and a pretty sweet travel schedule.

5. Basketball
Basketball players are a harmless sort of stupid. Like, they're not intelligent, but they also are pretty relaxed about that fact. They're kind of in on the fact that they are stupid, but also stupid athletic, so they know the balance of the world. It's a charming sort of stupidity, like a dog with boots on.


4. Football
This is mostly due to getting in a sport where your brain is going to be scrambled by the time that you are done. The only reason it is not higher is some guys still have to take it as a way to get their families out of poverty, and they are kind of the great hope. I am sympathetic in that the sport kind of requires you to feel as if you are invincible. As bad as getting in a brain scrambling sport is, it probably pales in comparison to former players talking about "protecting the shield" as if getting drunk or doing drugs is nearly as bad as messing up people's brains to the point where they feel the only option is suicide.

3. Combat Sports
It's like football with the brain scrambling but without the great payoff when you become one of the best. Yes, some guys are making millions of dollars, but even in the UFC, you have guys making $8,000 to fight and another $8,000 to win. Some guys only get two fights a year, so, yeah, that's not a great living. Also, as someone who trains at an MMA gym, I can tell you that it is a very stupid place. Anything that was funny to you in high school is still funny to everyone at an MMA gym. My belief is that this is true in all sports, but I can only give firsthand knowledge of the combat sports world.

2. Crossfitters
Now a lot of people like to shit on crossfitters, but I'm not here to (totally) do that. If you find a workout that you enjoy, and it doesn't injure you, that's wonderful. The second part is the problem with Crossfitters. I'm not amazed that people who do Crossfit suffer serious injuries; I'm amazed that they still rave about Crossfit and promise to start doing it again. That is very stupid. Also, Crossfit acts as a cult, and looking through history, no cult members are ever lauded for their intelligence.

1. Baseball
Baseball players top the list, because they are not only stupid, but they are also babies. They are stupid babies. Like golfers, they crave a simpler time when people just kept their head down, did their job, and fought for segregation and the right to beat their spouses. One thing that adds to their overall stupidity is how young baseball players get into the professional side of things. For Latin Americans, they get in at age 16, and there are many Americans who get in at 18. This is not a matter of education, as I don't equate education to intelligence. It's just that many people stop maturing from the time they get in that locker room. It's a collective stupidity

They also cannot handle that somebody would be happy and find it worthwhile to show their happiness when they do something well, because everything done in baseball is conceived as a personal attack against the opponent. That is because they are babies. Baseball wants to be a "man's" sport, but it's the sport of petulant children.

Speaking of children, Adam LaRoche quit baseball because his 14-year-old son couldn't hang out with him in the clubhouse EVERY SINGLE DAY. Now, it is one thing for Adam LaRoche to quit baseball for this reason. He decided the only way he could continue to play is if his son was around all the time. But Chris Sale screamed at the Team President, and Adam Eaton called the 14-year-old a "leader." If you consider a 14-year-old a leader, you are a very stupid person. Even when I was 14, I didn't consider 14-year-olds leaders, because I knew they were dumbasses. The last time I thought a 14-year-old was a leader was probably when I was 12. At that point, I didn't like girls, had poor hygeine, and was nWo 4 Life. The last one never changed, and apparently 12-year-old me was still smart enough to not only survive, but thrive in a baseball locker room.

Congratulations, baseball players. In the land of idiot athletes, you reign supreme.

The Ultimate Guys' Week

My brother and I have been looking forward to this week for months. At first, we just thought a few awesome things would happen during this week, but then we realized that more and more awesome activities kept popping up. That is why April  25-May 2 is The Ultimate Guys' Week. Now clearly every week is Guys' Week, so what makes this The Ultimate Guys' Week? Oh, let me show you the ways. Here is your agenda for this extravaganza.

NBA Playoffs - All Week
Have you seen Derrick Rose? No, seriously, have you seen Derrick Rose? Holy shit, watching him play basketball gets me so excited that I'd probably bang an HB7 (only people familiar with the seduction community will understand that reference). Also, there's some other teams hoping for second place.

NHL Playoffs - All Week
Since I'm not Canadian, I really don't care about the NHL but I figured I should at least put it on the list. Plus, I'm only going to cover one event taking place in Canada this week, and that's not until Saturday. If Roenick's still playing, I'll root for whatever team he is on.

WWE Tough Enough - Monday

Stone Cold is undeniably awesome, and he shines on this show. Plus it's got Hugh Morrus (get it?) who is awesome, and Booker T who definitely has some West Coast Dance moves. To top it off, they've got eye candy with Trish Stratus. That last part puts it over the edge and makes it the only reality show that is essential viewing for Guys' Week (My apologies to The Ultimate Fighter).

Monday Night RAW - Monday
Because pro wrestling is ultra-manly, so it's a great way to start off the week. And it's going to be an extra awesome show as it's the WWE Draft. Smackdown guys could go to RAW, RAW guys could go to Smackdown, and Superstars like Zack Ryder (more on him later) may finally get on television.

The A-Team - Tuesday
Since nothing outside of the playoffs is happening on Tuesday night, it'd be a great time to add to your testosterone by buying The A-Team on DVD or Blue-Ray and watching it. Tuesday would also be a good time to have some flapjacks, the official meal of the lumberjack (an ultra manly occupation). Actually, scratch that, every day of this week would be a good time to have some flapjacks.

South Park - Wednesday
Season premiere of the greatest cartoon ever made. Plus, chicks hate cartoons, making them extra manly.

Z! True Long Island Story - Thursday

If you're not watching the hottest new show on YouTube, then you're really missing out. I don't care if you're an Edge Head or a part of Cenation, after watching one episode of this show, Zack Ryder will become your favorite wrestler, and you'll be hoping for the day that you can become Broski of the Week. Woo Woo Woo...You Know It!

Parks And Recreation - Thursday

Because Ron Swanson is the Charles Bronson of sitcoms.

NFL Draft - Thursday-Saturday
Real men love the NFL Draft, because no matter how bad your team is, this is the event that gives all people hope (except when your favorite team trades away a bunch of picks to pick up a shitty quarterback like Jay Cutler). I recommend watching on NFL Network, because ESPN's Draft "Experts" are about as useful as women when it comes to their knowledge of football. And, as guys, we all know women don't know anything about awesome things like football. Man, women sure are worthless (although you and I are not in the same place, I totally have my hand up for a virtual high-five).

Fast Five - Friday
A lot of people see previews for this movie and dismissively think it will just be another stupid Vin Diesel movie. I look at these previews and realize that it will just be another AWESOME Vin Diesel movie. These guys live their lives a quarter mile at a time. They have avoided the police for 10 years despite driving nothing but gaudy looking cars. In the last movie, Paul Walker was helping Diesel with his car, but left and told him that he'd be right back. He then proceeded to bang Diesel's sister. That's the boldest move of anyone in movie history. But something tells me that these guys' luck may run out. What is that something? THE ROCK. The Rock vs. Vin Diesel is the greatest matchup of badasses in movie history. I fully expect my testicles to suffer from elephantitis by the time this movie is over.

Friday Night Smackdown - Friday
The first show after the draft, and the last show before the PPV. Plus it ends by 9:00 CST giving you plenty of time to drift afterwards if you're still jacked up after Fast Five.

UFC 129 - Saturday
Even if you don't like hockey, there is reason to give attention to the Canadians during The Ultimate Guys' Week. Up in Canada, there is a fantastic card featuring two title fights involving Canadians. Mark Hominick goes against Jose Aldo for the featherweight title, and Georges St. Pierre defends his title against Jake Shields. If that's not enough, the card also features Randy Couture taking on evil karate expert Lyoto Machida (Basically, if you practice karate and you're not the Karate Kid, it means that you use your karate for evil). Even if you don't follow MMA, all you need to know is that its violence, and violence is fucking awesome (so is cussing).

WWE Extreme Rules - Sunday
It's like MMA, only with weapons (while substituting reality), so it never fails to entertain.

WWE Tough Enough/Monday Night Raw - Monday
What's that you say? There's only seven days in a week. This is The Ultimate Guys' Week, so you're lucky that I'm ending it after ONLY eight days. And yes, we need eight days for all this testosterone boosting action. We end where we started with Monday Night Raw rocking our jock off. And yes, I wear a jockstrap while watching wrestling, as well as a number of other activities. It's what badasses do. Speaking of badasses, this marks the return of The Rock, as he will be celebrating his birthday.

The Ultimate Guys' Week could be the greatest eight days of your life. Even though this week is for the fellas, don't worry ladies, you can still be used to satisfy our carnal urges...and for cooking.

-Joe

P.S. You know what's manly? Michael Jordan raping the Celtics defense, take it away, MJ:

West Coast Dance Off: Ryan Zimmerman vs. Alex Ovechkin

West Coast Dance is sweeping the nation.  Obviously, this isn't surprising to anyone as West Coast Dance has brought all of the best in different dance disciplines to create the ultimate style of dance.  The pioneers of West Coast Dance promised that it would be a phenomenon, and they were not lying as I have seen many videos of regular people and celebrities alike giving it their best go at West Coast Dance.

Because of this, I felt it was time to introduce a grading scale to differentiate between the weak wannabes and the true innovators of WCD.  All dancers will be judged on the following criteria:
West Coastness - This is the toughest to define, as it is based a lot on intangibles that only the trained eye can really see.  Normal people won't be able to tell the difference between the West Coast of one dance as compared to another, but that's why I'm here to guide you along.
Comedy - If you're trying to get serious acclaim for your dancing, then it ain't West Coast Dance.
Dance - Sure, anybody can be goofy on the dance floor, but you still need to have legit moves to rank highly among the best West Coast Dancers.

In the end, I will be giving a final grade of 1-10 penguins, as The Penguin was one of the earliest dance moves to help shape the future of West Coast Dance.

Today, we have a surprising battle of East Coasters, as both are proud to make their living in Washington DC.  It will be Ryan Zimmerman of the Washington Nationals vs. the Russian-born Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals.  First, let's check out what Zimmerman brings to the table (and feel free to stop the video when Zimmerman is done, because I don't care about those other assclowns).


West Coastness - I have to give a lot of credit to Zimmerman as he does an excellent job of showing what West Coast is all about with his moves.  Obviously, everyone is going to love when he breaks it down, but the key to the West Coastness is the beginning.  He starts off with some proper ballroom dancing, and just when you think that he's going to zig and stick with that, he zags and busts a move.  The element of surprise is an excellent way to show the West Coastness of his dance.

Comedy - Facial expressions are the key to his comedy, as when he hears the bumping beats, you can see the change from proper gentleman to Dirty Dancer.  Although the lady is usually the one shaking her butt on the gentleman, Zimmerman uses gender reversal to create a good chuckle for the entire crowd.

Dance - The moves were solid, but not fantastic.  He had a critical error when he was doing the ballroom dancing before the dip.  Still, he made up for it by really getting into his ass grind and following up with a classic West Coast Dance maneuver with the double first-pump front grind.

Now let's move onto a compilation of Alex Ovechkin's dance moves:


West Coastness - The man doesn't stop dancing; that is what you have to love.  He signs autographs...and dances.  He talks on his cell phone...and dances.  Hell, he even DJ's at a club...and dances.  A true West Coaster will not let anything stop him from getting his groove on, and Alex Ovechkin clearly realizes this as even when he's sticking with classic moves, he keeps his body moving which is essential for the West Coastness of a Dancer.

Comedy - The loose arm move is always fun, because there is a total lack of caring with it.  It makes everybody around him have a great time. He also does a great job of using his profession in his moves.  He pulls his own shirt over his head, blinding himself yet keeps the dance moves coming.  Also, I'm pretty sure that he's at a club that had never seen dancing before, yet he has the entire club getting their groove on, because of how much fun he is having.

Dance - I really like that when he's in the DJ Booth, he starts with a classic raising of the roof, but he isn't afraid to stray away from a classic and start windmilling the arms a little bit.  He's willing to take chances which will always get him respect within the WCD community.  The best move in here is very early with the autograph signing.  Yes, he was signing an actual autograph, but it is a money move regardless. 

Ryan Zimmerman's Overall Score - Zimmeman did a great job with West Coastness, had some solid comedy, but struggled a little bit with the Dance part.  Still, it was a very good performance, so his score is...

SIX PENGUINS

Alex Ovechkin's Overall Score - Overchkin did a very good job with West Coatness as well.  His comedy was very solid, but he really brought it with the innovative dance moves.  His overall score is...

EIGHT PENGUINS

This was a great first matchup, and I give respect to both men.  Still, a hearty congratulations is in order for Alex Ovechkin, a man who comes from the far east, yet has adapted to our culture to become a true West Coast Dancer.

-Joe

P.S.  We'll make it a video heavy day at the blog, as here's a little girl trying to sing about some West Coast Dancing: