The WWE Is Ruining... Bobby Lashley

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we focus on how the WWE is ruining...Bobby Lashley? Oh, shit, maybe random wasn't the best way to decide this, but here we are, so let's get going on Big Bob.

As anyone who is reading this probably knows, Bobby Lashley is not the darling of the internet wrestling community. He's not a guy who crushed it on the independents with amazing moves before finally being recognized after years of mastering his craft at smaller shows. Instead, he is a black Incredible Hulk, absolutely jacked and shredded from head to toe. If you're like Vince McMahon and love bodies, then you love Bobby Lashley. If you love work rate, he's probably not your cup of tea.

As somebody who grew up on the WWE in the 80s and 90s, and someone who has traveled across the country multiple times to watch independent wrestling, Obviously, independent wrestling is the world's greatest live entertainment art form, and I'm also somebody who still wonders why Adam Bomb was not the next Hulk Hogan. I love work rate and body guys. There is value in a guy like Bobby Lashley, because he LOOKS like a pro wrestler. You line up all the wrestlers, and Bobby Lashley is in the top five of guys who look like they should be champion.

But when I see Bobby Lashley pop up on the screen, I would very much like him to leave the premises immediately. That is because the WWE has portrayed him as someone who SUUUUUUUUUCKS. Dude sucks so hard. His only memorable gimmick to this point is that he really loves his sisters; that may be the shittiest identifier in wrestling history.

The biggest issue with Lashley is that throughout his entire WWE run, he's been a good guy instead of a bad guy. It's weird to think of now, but him wrestling on behalf of Donald Trump was actually the good guy thing to do, but I am proud to admit that I was rooting for Trump to lose his hair, but that was due to the spectacle of it all as opposed to knowing that Donald Trump is a massive piece of shit.

But Bobby Lashley succeeded as a face during a different time in the WWE. Fans were, quite frankly, simpler beings then. They did cheer for the good guys, even if they preferred their good guys with a bit of an edge. The guys that are universally loved these days are the indy darlings, and there is no way to go back and give Lashley that sort of credibility. Instead, do what's natural and make Lashley a quiet heel. There is no reason for Lashley to speak, because that dude takes his shirt off, and you already hate him a little bit, strictly out of envy. On top of that, the guy is a legit badass who was fairly successful in the MMA world.

The WWE really only has one course of action. Do what's natural and take the natural heat that this guy gets and make him an ultra heel. They have started to make a change with Lashley with his alliance with Lio Rush, a mouthpiece (and also an incredible wrestler), who can do dirty work for him. And really, they have him in a perfect feud as he can take out indy darling, Kevin Owens, who is one of those guys that is so cool that it's kind of impossible for him to be truly hated, so let Lashley embrace his natural ability to walk into a room and be hated and turn that shit up to ten. Bobby Lashley should have a smug look on his face every time he walks into a room, because that dude is as alpha as it gets, and even though I'm a very logical person, I can't help but hate him for it. And use that MMA background to use his shoot fighting skills to punish his opponents. The only thing worse than hating someone is hating someone who you know can kick your ass.

Right now, Bobby Lashley is a square peg that won't fit into a round hole, but he'd fit perfectly into the role of an asshole. And much like an asshole, this man's best work is silent but deadly.

Adam Bomb Should Have Been More

How was Adam Bomb not a bigger deal? He was a big dude who could believably crush people, and yet he never really got any sort of push into a title picture. Instead, he just kind of existed.

The dude was huge, jacked, and he had cool sunglasses. I mean, is that name stupid? Objectively, yes, it is an awful name and it is impossible to deny the stupidity. So, yes, it was stupid...stupid awesome. Think about it as if you were a child. His last name was Bomb. This guy should have had sold a shit-ton of merchandise.

Could he talk? Not really, but most big guys aren't that great of talkers and managers were still a normal thing to pair with a big guy who wasn't quite polished yet. He started off with Johnny Polo, but Polo dumped him on Harvey Wippleman to focus on the Quebecers. Harvey Wippleman dumped him so he could manage Kwang, who was best known as being a secret character in the video game WWF Raw for the 32X (I got a 32X like three years after it came out for ten bucks and that game for another 5. I would say I got my $15 out of the investment, but nothing more).

After that, he kind of became a good guy, but people stopped caring, and it didn't help that he would do a pose and the WWE would shoot up green smoke behind him, which made his Adam Bomb look like he just farted. Considering he would be released a few months later, it was kind of a fitting image.

That's where Adam Bomb effectively died. He became Wrath in WCW, but then went by his real name of Bryan Clark to tag with Brian Adams as KroniK. They won the tag titles a couple times, but it was during the Vince Russo era, so it doesn't really count as success at that point. He had a brief cup of coffee in the WWE, but injuries quickly ended that run, and after bouncing around in independents and Japan, he retired in 2003.

It's pretty clear that Adam Bomb wasn't destined to carry a company, but it seems like he could have done more. In an era when guys like Marty Jannetty, Ahmed Johnson, and Marc Mero became Intercontinental Champions, it sure seems like Adam Bomb could have been more. Adam Bomb should have been more.