La Parka Is The Coolest Man In Wrestling History

As I relive the glory days of pro wrestling on the WWE Network, I have come across many hidden gems that I had totally forgotten about. Sure, there are some things that stand out to everyone, like how great Stone Cold Steve Austin was between King of the Ring and his submission match against Bret Hart at WrestleMania 13, which was the point where he got propelled to another level. But something that consistently stands out to me on Nitro is how amazing La Parka is. I mean, I remember being a huge La Parka fan back in the day, but I totally forgot just how cool he truly was.

La Parka was incredible in the ring, and I always thought his look was pretty cool, but looking back, this man had more style than anyone in wrestling history. His debut was a phenomenal match against Juventud Guerrera where he wore this...

just to reveal this...

yep, a chestpad that looks like Brak from Space Ghost.

I didn't think that look could be topped, but I should have known to never doubt La Parka. Then, about six months later, La Parka had a rematch with Juventud Guerrera. La Parka brought it in the first match, but Juvi didn't learn his lesson. So La Parka had to bring it even harder, as evidenced by this ring attire for his entrance.

BOSS. Like, I don't know another way to describe how awesome that outfit is. He's in full La Parka attire, and tehn somehow over that, he has a pajama suit of luchador masks, and he tops it off with a sombrero. Oh yeah, and since every suit needs a belt, he got himself a custom La Parka belt to show that he is the champion of...La Parka?

It doesn't matter, because he will forever be the champion of our hearts. He was just so damn cool that it was impossible not to love him. Oh yeah, and the next week, he started bringing chairs into the ring which began his run to Chairman of WCW. La Parka was so cool.

How did this guy ever lose? 

What Are The Best Ages For Your Favorite Team To Win A Championship?

The Effectively Wild podcast had an interesting conversation a couple weeks ago. The situation is this: Your (possibly hypothetical, as in my case) child's favorite team will win three, and only three, championships in his/her lifetime. What ages would you want them to experience those championships? It really got me thinking as there are a lot of benefits for nearly any age and winning a championship. Still, I feel like the following ages (consider the ages approximate as there isn't much difference between 45 and 47) would be the best three years to get that title.

1. Age 11
You need to get a championship during their formative years, but at the same time, you don't want it to be too young of an age. The Bulls won their first title when I was just six, and it didn't mean as much when they were winning those titles, because it became expected. It was still great, but I feel it could have been greater. Also, the Cubs had a good year when I was five, but I don't remember it. Meanwhile, they had another good year when I was 14, and I cried when they got eliminated from the playoffs by the Braves. Is 14 a little old to be crying about sports? Well, it was either cry about sports or have sex with girls, and I had zero interest in the latter. That is why I feel that age 11 is a good balance. I think everybody finds loving sports way too much totally acceptable at that age, and it is late enough that you can fully remember and enjoy the experience.

2. Age 45
This is an approximate age, but it gives a chance for your child to share a championship with his or her child. I mean, once you're an adult, you're probably not getting the same sort of joy out of a championship, but sharing it with a child would probably be pretty boss. The first one is a no-brainer, and I feel like this is a necessity if they are going to have children. Obviously, without children, it loses some luster, but that probably still means that the kid is drinking heavily and can still enjoy a championship even slightly past his or her prime.

3. Age 25
There is something to be said for 70 years old as you can share it with two other generations, but at that age, you really cannot care too much about sports. At that age, health can become a major issue, so I just don't see the risk outweighing the reward. Meanwhile, 25 is that sweet spot for sports fandom. You are young enough to still care way too much about sports and not have too many other responsibilities, but you are old enough where you could actually afford to go all out in your enjoyment. I mean, if you are ever going to make a random trip to see your team in the championship, this is the right time to do it. There isn't a significant other and kids holding you back, and it won't be that hard for you to convince a couple buddies to join along in the adventure.

You may get more nostalgic about the other titles, but this will be the one that you'll have the most vivid memories, and that is why it has to be the third age that you would want your child to experience that championship feeling.