Shinesty Has The Pajamas of Your Dreams

Shinesty is at it again. Known for some sweet NFL Suit Jackets, they are expanding their repertoire just in time for the holiday season. They have an abundance of holiday sweaters and pajamas that can keep you both stylish and comfortable during these cool winter months. I would say cold, but living in Florida, cool is about as extreme as it gets down south.

I decided to go the pajamas route, and Shinesty graciously sent me the 8-bit Christmas onesie. There is so much going on with these that I feel like I need to rank my five favorite characters. 

5. Fire Breathing Dragon

Usually fire breathing dragons are pretty scary, but this guy seems like he’s up for a good time. He would definitely help you get your fireplace going if you needed it. Also, he’s even wearing a Christmas hat. Tis the season.

4. Abominable Snowman Celebrating With Christmas Tree

Let’s face it, the Abominable Snowman is definitely somebody who gets way too excited for presents and refuses to let anyone sleep in on Christmas morning. Some would say that he doesn’t understand that it is better to give than receive, but he’s just so happy when he gets to receive that I’m going to give him a pass.

3. Reindeer With Snow Diarrhea

Reindeer with Snow Diarrhea is definitely hoping that you’re not seeing that he has snow coming from his butt. If he asks, say you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

2. Gorilla Humping Presents

Abominable Snowman may love presents, but this Gorilla LOVES presents.

1. Hulk Hogan

I know, he’s wearing red trunks instead of the yellow that we grew accustomed to, but the big muscles, the handlebar mustache, the thinning blonde hair, that is definitely the holiday version of Hulk Ho-Ho-Hogan, and since Hulkamania was running wild through my childhood, I have to give him the top spot. 

So I have talked about the style, but I need to talk about the comfort. I’m not a big pajamas guy, but I am definitely going to be utilizing these bad boys. Down in Florida, my window is probably only a couple months, but I’m originally a Midwestern Boy, and considering how awful the weather is up there, you could use these things for six months at least to stay cozy and content during hibernation season. I also really like how there’s no footies on the end of these things. I don’t care how cold it is, I need my feet to breathe, and these jammies allow me to do that.

I also love that they have pockets built in so you can use them on the go as opposed to only being able to use them for sleep. I could go to the store in these if I needed to. If you're single, it might help you pick up chicks since they would make the subliminal connection of sleep, and then want to sleep with you. That's psychology 101.

But my favorite part of these is that they don’t just zip up, they zip all the way up.

For some reason, it took me zipping the hood all the way up before my wife noted how good the pajamas look, but a compliment is a compliment, so I'll take it. Trust me, it's much easier to seduce a lady when they don't realize how ugly you are.

La Parka Is The Coolest Man In Wrestling History

As I relive the glory days of pro wrestling on the WWE Network, I have come across many hidden gems that I had totally forgotten about. Sure, there are some things that stand out to everyone, like how great Stone Cold Steve Austin was between King of the Ring and his submission match against Bret Hart at WrestleMania 13, which was the point where he got propelled to another level. But something that consistently stands out to me on Nitro is how amazing La Parka is. I mean, I remember being a huge La Parka fan back in the day, but I totally forgot just how cool he truly was.

La Parka was incredible in the ring, and I always thought his look was pretty cool, but looking back, this man had more style than anyone in wrestling history. His debut was a phenomenal match against Juventud Guerrera where he wore this...

just to reveal this...

yep, a chestpad that looks like Brak from Space Ghost.

I didn't think that look could be topped, but I should have known to never doubt La Parka. Then, about six months later, La Parka had a rematch with Juventud Guerrera. La Parka brought it in the first match, but Juvi didn't learn his lesson. So La Parka had to bring it even harder, as evidenced by this ring attire for his entrance.

BOSS. Like, I don't know another way to describe how awesome that outfit is. He's in full La Parka attire, and tehn somehow over that, he has a pajama suit of luchador masks, and he tops it off with a sombrero. Oh yeah, and since every suit needs a belt, he got himself a custom La Parka belt to show that he is the champion of...La Parka?

It doesn't matter, because he will forever be the champion of our hearts. He was just so damn cool that it was impossible not to love him. Oh yeah, and the next week, he started bringing chairs into the ring which began his run to Chairman of WCW. La Parka was so cool.

How did this guy ever lose?