How To Stop a Knife With Your Dick

Guys, even I'm having trouble fathoming the expertise it takes to pull off this move.

For a normal person, this is incredibly dangerous. If your penis is not trained, then it is unlikely that the penis will be able to grab onto a knife without causing great harm to your body. I hate to break it to you, but if you are not grabbing things with your dick, you are a penis pretender. The man above is not a penis pretender, and neither is this man.

If you can't lock somebody in an armbar and flip them using nothing but your penis, you probably shouldn't try stopping knives with your genitalia.

But what about the ladies? They're penis is an innie instead of an outtie. Although this trick is tough for the fellas, ladies could likely stop multiple knife attacks by attaching themselves to the knife and ripping it from the attacker. As the old saying goes, "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight...because some lady will steal your knife with her vagina."

How To Stop A Knife Attack...With Your Butt

There are many defenses against a knife. Most rely on lightning quick handwork that will disarm the assailant. But not everyone is born with lightning quick hands. But they are blessed with a little something called a badonkadonk. And if you happen to be one of those people, then you are in luck.

You may think that jamming your body into a knife is a great way to get sodomized by a knife, but that's the worst case scenario. Much, MUCH more likely is that they have the blade parallel to your body so you have nothing to fear. You could easily disarm someone just by twerking the blunt side of the blade right out of their hand. At that point, the only blunt object you have to worry about is the boner in their pants as your assailant will inevitably fall in love with you.

What To Do When You Get Mugged On A Date

You ever find yourself, collar popped, going on a walk with your special lady? You ever get harrassed a bit? Well, even if they grab your girl and threaten you with a knife, it's easy to just relax and disarm these assailants.

Why to train if it is possible to do this? #dumbassmartialarts #bullshit #kravmaga #streetfight #selfdefense #gun #knife #rip #wtf #lol pic.twitter.com/rhvR14cYud

— Dumbass Martial Arts (@DumbassMA) February 10, 2018

Just take the knife away, and make sure that your woman can flip her attacker. The family that fights together stays together. But the best part is that a third guy runs in with a gun so the guy will drop the knife. If you have a gun and you want someone to drop a knife, I can think of one way that might be more effective, but maybe that's just me.

I also cannot get over how popped that guy's collar is. It is simply too popped. But he's for sure going to try to talk her into butt stuff tonight. Considering she also flipped a guy, maybe she'll talk him into butt stuff as well. #SexPositive