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Defensive Ends
Jonah: Mario Williams, BJ Dubose, Cam Johnson, Damontre Moore
Joe: Jon Jones, Da’Quan Bowers, Bjoern Werner, Jackson Jeffcoat, Michael Sam, Drew Ott
Joe: There were two guys that I was bound and determined to get in this draft, and they are both defensive linemen. We’ll get to one today, and as a hint, the other one is tomorrow and is also a former UFC Champion. First off, I acquired the greatest fighter ever, Jon “Bones” Jones. Part of the reason I was able to snag Jones is that he is suspended from competition for the next couple years at least, so he’s going to need something to do in the meantime. Why not give football a try? He has two brothers that are in the NFL, and the dude is a freak of an athlete. Although he fights at 205, his walking around weight is probably close to 240, and with his frame, he should have no trouble adding another 15 pounds. Jon Jones may be an awful human being, but if anybody could adapt to the XFL with zero football experience, it’s him.
Bowers, Werner, and Jeffcoat all can be classified as super productive college players who were never able to make it in the NFL. Each was an All-American and Bowers was the Bronko Nagurski Award winner for best college football defensive player.
Michael Sam could fit into that above group, but he is more known as becoming the first openly gay player on an NFL roster. Not only do I think he can be productive, but this is obviously just a very good thing for the league considering I have purposely acquired racists, alleged women beaters, and Jon Jones, I could use an actual good person on my team. Again, it’s not my preferred method of doing things, but it’s the XFL baby!
Finally, it was time for my obligatory Iowa Hawkeyes pick of Drew Ott who was so good in college but got hurt at the wrong time and wasn’t able to latch on to an NFL roster. I still 100% believe in the guy playing well if given the chance.
Jonah: You win football games on the lines, everyone knows that. That’s why my defensive line is headlined by another number one overall pick in the NFL draft Mario Williams. He’s 32, but could easily still play in the NFL if the money was right. The guy is a star, what can I say about him? He’s a multiple time Pro Bowler and All Pro, he would dominate any XFL offensive line besides my own.
BJ Dubose is a guy who I got to see play in preseason games for the Vikings and he looked good. He just went to a team that was stacked with star defensive ends. He was hurt in the 2016 offseason, but that’s almost 2 years ago. Rick Spielman knows how to scout defensive lineman, so I’ll snatch up Dubose and watch him transform into Danielle Hunter.
Cam Johnson is another one of my no name but solid picks. He’s a solid five year NFL vet who’s great at forcing fumbles. Those are game changing plays, and he’s good at getting in the backfield and making tackles for loss as well as forcing fumbles.
Damontre Moore is only 25 but has five years experience in the NFL. He was supposed to be a to 10 pick but ran a bad 40. I don’t care about my defensive lineman’s 40 times. He has a substance abuse strike in the NFL, but again who cares? This is the XFL baby, substance abuse was rampant when football was cool right? Moore is a real sleeper that could make a huge impact.
Joe: Mario Williams is a fun pick, and I really can’t say he’s too old since I drafted Reggie Bush as my running back, and they were the top two picks in the same draft. Two of your guys are so boring that you are calling them boring, so I don’t really need to comment on either one of them. But I do like the Damontre Moore pick. At worst case, he was a high motor guy in college that can use that hustle effectively in the XFL. But the one thing that seems to be missing are UFC Champions. What happens when your team gets in a fight, because we know for damn sure that the XFL is going to promote fights.
Jonah: Williams could still play in the NFL and be pretty good. By boring I just mean not a household name like Mario Williams or Jon Jones. Speaking of Jones, there’s no doubt he’s an athletic freak but I think a transition to football is difficult for anyone. Also, you have to make sure he doesn’t go completely insane as he is fond of doing. Michael Sam is probably your best pick as he should be playing in the NFL, but if the NFL wasn’t willing to accept an openly gay player how do you think the XFL fanbase and ownership is going to react?
Joe: The XFL is 100% going make all gay players wear a rainbow patch. It’s going to be SUPER offensive and Trumpies are going to love it. And my only real concern with Jon Jones is that he gets distracted and starts trying to snort the yard lines. Outside of that, he should be good to go.
That’s all for today. Join us next time for the defensive tackles where you can bet your ass that I picked up Brock Lesnar.
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