In anticipation of Vince McMahon bringing the fun back to football (more concussions, woohoo!), Lukewarm Jonah and I went back and forth to do an XFL Draft. Instead of breaking this down round by round, we are going to go by position groups. Today, we continue with the offensive line with our guards.Offensive Guard
Jonah: Andrew Tiller, Tim Lelito, Mike Harris, Orlando Franklin
Joe: Tre Jackson, Cyril Richardson, Danny Watkins, Jordan Walsh, Eddie Hall
Joe: At guard, I started off with established guys who I knew could get the job done. Tre Jackson was a unanimous All-American at Florida State while winning a national title with them. He then joined the Patriots and won a Super Bowl last year. Now he just needs an XFL Championship to complete the championship trifecta.
Cyril Richardson is another former unanimous All-American during his time at Baylor, with the added benefit of being 6’5”, 330 pounds which means we can bounce him out to tackle if necessary since my depth is lacking on the outside.
Danny Watkins also went to Baylor and was a first round pick because of his dominant work in college. Of course, he was doing this at 26 years old. It turns out being five years more mature than the competition helps quite a bit, and when he didn’t have that advantage, he wasn’t all that good. Don’t care. He can now play in the XFL and fight fires in his spare time.
After that, I took another obligatory Iowa selection in Jordan Walsh. He was very good in college but never found a fit in the NFL. In the XFL, he could become an All-Pro.
Last but actually most, I went with another wildcard pick. Eddie Hall is 6’2”, over 400 pounds, and is the current World’s Strongest Man. He retired from the sport after winning the title, and he seems destined to find his next career in the XFL. Vince McMahon is going to take one look at this guy and name him the MVP of the league.
Jonah: There weren’t a lot of exciting free agent guards out there as I didn’t want to take a World’s Strongest Man competitor. Andrew Tiller is a guy who’s 28 years old and has started 14 games in the NFL. He’s a safe boring pick to solidify my line.
Mike Harris played for the Vikings for 3 years so I got to see him a decent amount. He’s nothing special, but also wasn’t TJ Clemmings levels of bad. He started 33 games, and like I said, played at an acceptable level in the NFL, which is plenty good enough to play on my team in the XFL.
Orlando Franklin is a seven year NFL vet who can also play tackle, so more versatility on the offensive line. He was a second round pick and has started 89 games. He’s a wily veteran, but he’s only 30 and not completely beat up so he can pave the way for the rest of my team
Joe: Orlando Franklin seems like a solid pick. I have not heard of anyone else, and since even you said they were boring, I don’t plan on looking them up, but I can safely assume that they don’t know what it’s like to drag an airplane or launch kegs in the air.
Jonah: Offensive lineman are supposed to be boring, you don’t want to notice them, that means they’re doing their job. Your guards are solid as well. Being standouts in college with NFL experience means they should be able to play at a pretty high level in the XFL. I’m sure Eddie Hall is insanely strong, but I’m sure he’ll get blown up after two or three plays which isn’t ideal in a football situation. Remember when Mariusz Pudzianowski tried MMA and was bright purple after taking a step? That’s what I’m picturing.
Joe: Oh, are you referring to the same Pudzianowski that headlines every KSW show in Poland and has amassed a 12-5 record as the greatest fighter to ever compete in World’s Strongest Man? Do not blaspheme the name of Mariusz. And football is way easier than MMA. Pudzianowski got stuck attempting a takedown for a minute straight. In football, you only have to try for four seconds, which is perfect for my 400 pound strongman, Eddie Hall.
I’m still upset about your comments about Pudzianowski. Let’s use a video to cleanse our pallet.
In case you missed it: