What It's Like To Be Fired

I got fired for the first time in my life on Friday. Before I get into the details, let me tell you that I am not looking for any sympathy. It is a the very definition of a "shit happens" situation, and although I will not be having income coming in, I think it is very likely to work out for the best. Still, it's a bit of a surreal experience, and I think it's this taboo thing that people are embarrassed to talk about so I figure I would go into details, because I'm not the first, and I highly doubt I will be the last person to unexpectedly lose their job.

Longtime readers of the blog will know that I have been unemployed before, but this was because of my own stupid decisions of leaving full-time positions just because I'm a moron and don't really give a shit about money, but in all my time, I had never even been close to being fired based on my performance.

So I had been at my current position for a year and a half. That's a decent amount of time but certainly nothing that stands out. Well, at that organization, it was actually kind of incredible. We employed about 80-100 people, and I had the 15th most seniority before I was let go. I have never seen a place churn out people like this. They are constantly hiring, because if people are good, they move on, and they also are quick on the trigger to fire people because they do a fairly shitty job of training people, so unless you can teach yourself, you probably won't last long.

Now there's many other incredibly messed up things that happen at that organization, but maybe that's a blog for a later date as I just felt like a little background was needed before I really got into things.

So, it was around 4:00 on Friday (yes, they do the cliche thing of waiting until the end of the day on Friday, like Office Space), and I was just sitting at my desk, doing anything I could to pass the time, because I was way ahead on my work. My manager approached me and said the Managing Director wanted to see me in the office. I have never had a meeting with this man, because I have made it a mission to avoid him like the plague since he's just a miserable person. My manager seemed serious in her tone, but I manage events, and everyone agrees that my events always run the smoothest, because I am always incredibly prepared and it also helps that I have the most experience. So, going in, I was slightly concerned, but as I was walking over there, I was running through my head, "What could I have possibly fucked up?" and I came up with nothing.

This walk only took about 15 seconds, but it still gave me enough time to consider that maybe they just wanted to talk about my upcoming event, since it was kind of a big one, and maybe the Managing Director just wanted to be more involved. It certainly didn't seem like my time was about to end there.

I got in the office, and both of their faces were serious and they shut the door behind me. I knew that was a bad sign, but still, I was at like 50% that something bad was about to go down. I'm a logical person, and logically, there was literally no reason for me to lose my job. I will say that the one thing that I appreciated was that the Managing Director started off, "I hate to have this conversation, but we're going to be letting you go." That band-aid got ripped off quick. And even though I was not attached my job and often dreaded going into work, you still get that drop in your stomach where it's like, "Holy shit, how in the hell did I get fired?"

He then went on to explain that it had nothing to do with my performance as he appreciated all of my hard work, but they are doing less events next year, so they needed to downsize the department. So, they got rid of the guy with the most experience. Did I ask any questions? No, at that point, it wasn't going to change anything, and I really didn't give a shit about the why, the end result was all that mattered at this point. He kept talking, saying that my work was appreciated, and they'd be happy to give a reference, but at that point, my head was spinning, and I really just wanted to pack up and get out of there.

We said our goodbyes, and I went to pack up my desk which was literally just me grabbing my protein and granola bars as I did not have a single memento in my work space. My manager came by and said that she was told not to talk to me, which I guess is part of the dehumanizing experience of losing a job; you're no longer a person that can be talked to as you are now an unpredictable form that people must tread lightly around. She gave me more details about my severance, but even that I had to email about later to get more details as it was just a feeling of shock. Not happy, not sad, not angry, just trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

In one of the funnier moments, she asked if I wanted her to tell everyone, and I'm like, "Well, I'm right here; I think I can handle it." I then had to announce, "Hey everyone, I, for real, just got fired." I had to put in "for real" because I have joked about being fired at least a dozen times, and that joke all of a sudden got a whole lot less funny. Everyone was in shock, but I left them to deal with the shock as I wanted to go home to see my pup dog.

After I got out of the office, I called my wife, she didn't answer, so then I texted her, "So heads  up, I just lost my job. Not a joke." Again, I had often joked about being fired. Again, the joke is not nearly as funny anymore. After that, I called up a temp agency that I had done work for when I first moved to the area, because my goal is to find something as soon as possible, so I scheduled an interview with them for Monday. Then my wife called back, and I gave her the update, but I let her know that my mind was racing, so I really didn't even know what to say. Even though I couldn't tell you anything she really said outside of that she loves me, having another person there makes it a whole ton easier. If I was on my own, I'd be way more freaked out about things, but just having someone else (especially someone more successful than me) makes this much easier to take.

Then I got home to play with Casey The Dog. We wrestled around a little bit, and I continued my post-firing plan and blasted out a half dozen messages on LinkedIn with people I know well who might be able to help me find something. I've already gotten a good amount of responses of people recommending things or telling me that they'll let me know if they hear about anything.

After that, Casey and I went on a walk, because I had all this pent up energy and couldn't sit still. At that point, I was able to kind of dissect the situation. I'm 90% sure I know why I got fired. When I started, I had a good amount of experience, so I negotiated a salary that was higher than everyone else's in my department, so due to my master negotiation skills, I was the obvious option to get rid of, because it would save the company the most money. There is a 10% chance that they just didn't like me, and since this is not a logical place to work, I definitely won't rule it out.

But honestly, it still doesn't matter why I got fired. I got fired; that's what matters. And I'm writing about it, because that's easier than talking about it. You feel like a failure, and you feel like a loser, and it is embarrassing, but shit happens. I survived a damn kidney stone, and that was a FAR MORE traumatic experience than getting fired was. I bounced back from that, and I'll bounce back from this. My overall review is that it sucks getting fired, but it's not the end of the world. I still have my wife, still have my pup dog, and most importantly, I still have no stones in my kidneys.

Yes, I got fired, but things are going to be fine, and I think there's a good chance that it works out for the best.

Antwun Echols and the Curse of Being a Good Boxer

I was watching the documentary, Counterpunch, on Netflix this past week, and as I was following these three boxers at different stages of their career, it sent me down a Wikipedia rabbit hole of boxers. It took a lot of twists and turns and eventually led me to the Wikipedia page for Antwun Echols. Now unless you are a hardcore boxing fan or from Davenport, Iowa, that name probably doesn't mean anything to you. But I'm a part of that latter group, so I remember him coming up and being one hell of a boxer.

And he was. After losing his very first fight, he would go on to lose once in his next 24 fights. That was enough for him to earn a shot at Bernard Hopkins, who he took the distance but Echols lost the decision. He ended up winning his next two fights to get another shot at Hopkins, but this time he was stopped in the tenth round. Still, that's Bernard Hopkins, one of the greatest fighters of his generation and Echols was competitive in both fights.

Even after that, he managed to win seven of his next eight fights, winning the NABF Super Middleweight Title but losing his chance at the WBA Super Middleweight Title. Still, at this point, he had amassed a 31-5-1 record which isn't going to make him one of the greats, but it's still a pretty damn good career. 

Unfortunately, Echols career continued, as he has had another 22 fights since then. Echols was no longer the young up-and-comer who was smashing stepping stones on his way to title shots. Now, he was the stepping stone, continually put against top prospects. The fights got worse and worse as he went from losing decisions to losing by knockout. He has gone 1-18-3 in those last 22 fights. His one win was against a fighter who had a record of 0-8-2, but Fred Thomas is now 1-15-2, so Echols may have been lucky to meet him before Thomas reached his prime. Probably his most impressive accomplishment in this run is getting knocked out in the third round in seven consecutive fights, a streak that was ended when he lost in 8 seconds in his last fight.

As if that wasn't bad enough, during this run of awful fights, he was also shot in the leg trying to break up a fight. Then, he was immediately arrested at the hospital for possession of crack and failure to pay child support.

And about that child support, despite being busy with a boxing career, that did not stop Echols from getting busy in other ways. In 2013, Echols said in an interview that he "thinks" he has 23 kids. Maybe saddest of all, but definitely most delusional of all, is that when Echols was on a run of 1-14-3, he still had title aspirations. 

Echols had a great career, fighting for multiple championships but never bringing home the big time titles. Then he had a second career as a punching bag, and nobody was there to tell him that even if the money was decent, it's not a real career. But promoters were willing to keep giving him opportunity, because he was a good name in the boxing community. It didn't matter that he was no longer the same guy; it was actually better. He was the perfect stepping stone. The guy has clearly taken so much damage that he's susceptible to being knocked out by anyone, and that is exactly what's happened.

This story is about Antwun Echols, but it could easily be about dozens of other boxers that hang on for far too long with nobody around them willing or convincing enough to step in and stop them. Antwun Echols rose up from nothing to make something of himself through boxing. Now it appears that boxing will bring him right back to where he started. It's nearly impossible to see a happy ending to this story, so at this point, I'm just hoping for one that isn't tragic.

Do University of Phoenix Students Have Brains?

I'm not sure about you, but lately, I have been accosted about a University of Phoenix commercial that proposes that University of Phoenix students are ideal job candidates because of their online educational background. It has a very annoying song about having a brain in it, as it states that no matter what they have been through, they have brains, but, despite their best efforts, I do not feel that these people have done anything to show any bit of intelligence. In fact, I would like to rank the worst people to hire in this commercial, and trust me, it's quite a battle.

11. Life's short, talk is cheap

Okay, not sure why this guy is going to the University of Phoenix. He appears to wear suits and have his own office, so that's a pretty good sign that he's doing alright. He is wasting time at work studying for his online classes. The only logical conclusion is that this is a Kramer situation where he is just showing up to work instead of actually having a job there. He's probably able to use the internet for his assignments, so that's good hustle at least.

10. You can try to do it faster, I was born a multi-tasker

This is actually a surprise twist. The multi-tasker is not the mother who is breastfeeding and reading through Rob Gronkowski erotic fiction. It's the baby, as he is eating and getting to second base. Hey-o! Give that baby a job.

9. Got three kids, I never rest.

Okay, I really have no real beef with this lady. She's riding the bus and trying to do homework. This actually seems like a situation where an online university makes sense. Although one minor beef is that this looks like a bus with no seats.

8. Don't you want that kind of brain?

Most nondescript person in this commercial. She might be cousins with Snoop from The Wire. That's all I got.

7. I was raised against the grain

How in the hell did the University of Phoenix contact a hobo to get an online degree? This man is used to riding the rails. He's a damn vagabond. The man already has a degree in survival, I'm not sure how much his associate's is really going to help him. It also probably won't matter after he murders and eats the guy sleeping on his shoulder.

6. I'll be working while you sleep

So, people try to talk about farming being this podunk low-paying, salt of the earth occupation, but there's a lot of farmers making good money. And yeah, they wake up early, but the equipment basically drives itself. I mean, just look at the guy above. He's reading a book while taking care of his land. This is a man who was clearly tricked by the vulture sales team at University of Phoenix (I used to work at a for-profit college, and the bad stories about them tricking people into signing up are 100% true). This guy doesn't even need a job; he's just throwing money away getting a degree.

5. So my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay the mortgage.

Okay, that is a lady who is not a stable parent. She has unruly children, and she is about to lose her shit. I mean, look at those eyes. This is not a woman who should be adding any more stress to her life. On top of this, she bought a house that was beyond her financial means and needs two jobs to pay the mortgage. That is very poor planning. Even if she gets an education, her instability is a liability, and that makes her a bad hire.

4. Still don't think I have a brain?

Oh god, she's been possessed by the devil. There is no brain activity going on in that head of hers, only the works of the devil. All employers stay away.

3. I took two bullets to the chest

Okay, like I at least get what they're trying to get across with the other people in this commercial, but this guy? How is that an appealing characteristic? Random people don't get shot all that much, and I think we all know that this guy got shot by his own child because he failed to put the safety on his gun. The really sad thing is that the child did it on two separate occasions, as the guy didn't even learn after the first bullet to the chest. I thought for sure this guy would win, so it is mind-boggling that he only made it to the third dumbest person on this list. Also, why are you boxing shirtless by yourself? Put on a damn shirt you goon.

2. You think a resume's enough? We'll step up when things get tough.

This is probably the most disturbing scene of the commercial. This man is carrying his mother in a frantic situation. I'm pretty sure the building is on fire. Instead of taking her out, he carries her deep into the building to sit her in a wheelchair in the middle of an empty room. He then leaves, and gives that haunting sigh that says, "Yes, this was the right decision." I do not want to hire that person. I don't want that person to get a degree. This is a monster. Fear this man.

1. A degree is a degree. You're gonna want someone like me. But only if you have a brain.

And somehow this is still a worse person. This woman is just straight up awful for what she does to this poor guy. He just wants to go home. They give you warnings at the library to state that it's going to be closing soon, so she knew not to get deep into anything. But does she care? No. in fact, she doesn't even give the common courtesy to look at this guy who has been working and just wants to go home and see his kids before they go to bed. Letting your mother burn is one thing, but this lady has gone too far. She doesn't have a brain. Hell, she doesn't even have a heart.