The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #44 Rory Sparrow

I just read "The Jordan Rules," Sam Smith's story of the 1990-1991 Chicago Bulls season that primarily focuses on Michael Jordan, but through nearly 400 pages, everybody gets a fair amount of ink. It made me long for those Chicago Bulls glory days, so I am going to go back and rank every player's contribution to the Bulls six NBA Titles during the 1990s.

Rory Sparrow
Rory Sparrow is way too good of a basketball player to be this low on the list. He played 12 years in the NBA, and he was good. Oh, but there is a slight addendum to that, as he was good for every team except for the Chicago Bulls.

Excluding his first and last seasons, Sparrow averaged double digit points per game for every team he played with for at least one season except for the Chicago Bulls. Probably his best season was his 1984-85 season with the Knicks where he averaged ten points, seven assists, two rebounds, and a steal, all while shooting over 50% from the field and 86% from the free throw line.

But let's get to how Sparrow did for the Bulls. Looking for help early in the 1987-88 season, the Bulls traded the Knicks a second round pick for his services. He received a good amount of playing time, averaging 18 minutes per game, but he made little impact in games. This was probably only partially due to deteriorating skills as this was in the prime of Michael Jordan hogging the ball and verbally abusing anyone else who dared to take a bad shot.

He was released before the 1988-89 season and provided solid play for the Miami Heat and Sacramento Kings. In 1991, the Los Angeles Clippers signed him for the preseason but released him before the season began. The Bulls swooped in to sign him to strengthen their bench as the season began.

Unfortunately, the second stint was shorter and less productive than the first. He played in four games, and his most impressive stat was getting four assists during his 18 minutes of play. He was 1/8 from the field and really didn't offer much beyond that. He lasted just 19 days with the team before being waived.

Out of everyone on this list, he probably belongs in the top-15 for overall career, but we're judging how much he helped the Bulls Dynasty, and he had very little positive impact on that 1991-92 season.

I think he's okay with that. He won Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year in 1987 for his charitable endeavors, and he currently works for the NBA league office. On top of that, he's the greatest Rory in NBA history. Not too shabby for a fourth round pick out of Villanova.

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#45 - Jack Haley

The Weight Cut: Week 2

It’s pretty funny that my weight is going to be 140 after this cut considering that I graduated high school at 143; I had basically zero muscle mass, and you probably could have described my body back then as petite. The way I am getting there is tuna and rice in the morning, tuna and rice in the afternoon, drinking nothing but distilled water, and a protein shake at night. I've found that if I only have seven ounces at a time, I can turn my regular protein shake into two smaller meals at night. Yes, seven ounces of protein shake has turned into a legit meal for me.

It’s Tuesday, and my weight is getting better. Since we have a messed up scale, I am approximately 146 Coach told me that I’m not filling out my shirts as well, so I guess that’s a positive, but I probably look like even more of a little bitch right now.

By Wednesday night, things are definitely getting a little depressing. I had a shitty practice which didn’t help, but I’m just in a funk right now. I’m weaker than normal, and I can’t concentrate on anything. It’s kind of like a bad drunk where I really can’t function to my full capabilities; I realize I’m fucked up, but I can’t really do anything about it, so I’m like in Zombie Drunk mode. I watched the movie MacGruber and thought it was really good. It might have been funny, but it definitely could have sucked and I was just in a giggly mood. This paragraph might not make sense to people, but I’m not going to edit it when I get back to full strength. I think that makes this artsy.

I also decided to screw over the system and sign up for a free trial membership at Midtown Sports & Wellness. This place is off the chain nice, but I have a zero chance of actually joining. I usually feel guilty about this, but they made me wait like fifteen minutes before somebody helped me, so I am doing this guilt free. Basically, I needed to have a place with a working scale, and I also needed a place that had a sauna for my cut on Friday. Their usual deal is three days, but I went in and got five, because I’m sexy. God bless my good looks.

On Thursday, I had an average breakfast, a light lunch, and a protein shake for dinner. I’m hungry all the time, but nothing interesting happened on Thursday since I just did 45 minutes on a bike to get a little sweat going.

Friday was judgment day, and it started at 5AM when I was a good guy and took my roommate to the airport. I then had my first of two protein shakes for the day. Then, at 3:00, I went to the gym to see how much I needed to sweat out in the sauna. I was at 143, so it wasn’t going too bad of a sweat. It’s just that my body was already drained from a lack of nourishment, but I knew that being this close I could sweat off the rest. Honestly, the sauna was pretty relaxing. I just took a book in with me and read to pass the time so it went by pretty quick. I got done with two rounds and was just slightly over. Then the most glorious thing ever happened; I had to pee. My weight dropped .4 pounds which would have made me safe according to the scale, but I decided I’d do one more quick round just in case the scale was off. I got down to 139.2 before making my hour drive up to Rio Rancho.

I was worried about being horribly undernourished and dehydrated for the drive, but the sauna actually made me feel better than I had earlier in the day. I made it up to the place, checked in, and got on the scales, 139.2. I decided to get a professional drawing of myself at this weight, and here is how it turned out:
For some reason, they made me slightly tanner, and replaced my Seattle Storm gym bag with a suitcase.

I managed to drop 13 pounds in 12 days. I’m not gonna lie; it fucking sucked, but it was still good to go through that. After I weighed in, I had four dinners spread out by an hour and a half each. It was the happiest I have been in the last two weeks. So I did it, congratulations to me. Wait…what? I have to compete tomorrow? Fuck. Well, I’ve got weight cutting skills, and tomorrow will tell me whether I have some grappling skills.

-Joe

P.S. I wasn't lying about having a Seattle Storm gym bag. I love that thing.

P.P.S. Although a lot of people have probably already seen this, and even though it's long, I would definitely take a look at this profile of a former NFL agent by SI.