Showing posts with label Violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Violence. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2017

You Need to Go to an Independent Wrestling Show

Guys (and gals), you need to go to an independent wrestling show. That is the only point that I really want to make in this post, because independent wrestling is so totally awesome that anyone can enjoy it. That's right; it's not just for wrestling fans. You can think wrestling is fake or stupid or only for children, and even I'll admit, those arguments do hold varying degrees of legitimacy (the latter two more than the first), but even you, naysayer, will love independent wrestling.

Now, I'll admit, I'm spoiled. I live in Florida, and despite all of its issues with racists, scumbags, and bath salt users, it is also probably the greatest place to live for professional wrestling. Yes, we've got NXT shows galore, but on top of that, there is a really strong independent wrestling presence due to the fact that a lot of professional wrestlers live in the state. The only thing I'm missing is a wrestling buddy, but that may have changed this past weekend when I finally convinced my wife to go to a Full Impact Pro show with me in Tampa.

The show was held at The Orpheum, a small music venue with a stage, and the ring was set up right in the middle of where people would watch a concert, limiting the actual space for seats around ringside. This was luckily not an issue as there were maybe 75-100 people there for the show. We found some stools at the bar which put us in the second row as there were a row of about 8 folding chairs between us and the ring.

It took approximately two minutes before I realized that going to this independent show was not a good idea, it was a great idea. During the welcome by the announcer, two jobbers get thrown into the ring and physically dominated by a couple other dudes. It took them about a minute before they launched one of the jobbers into the crowd. Were the people in the crowd in on it? I mean, almost definitely, but either way, it was great and established what was to come the rest of the night.

After that, in a weird coincidence, there was a five way match from the Black and Brave Wrestling Academy, which is actually the wrestling school that is located in my hometown. I'll admit that I thought it was going to be the shits, just because the school has only been open for a few years, so none of the guys could have that much experience, but it was actually pretty fun. There was a good mix of high impact moves and comedy as one guy used a hoverboard in one of his big spots. It's one of the nice things about independent wrestling, because it doesn't need to take itself seriously.

A couple matches later, things jumped to another level when Caleb Konley took on Jason Cade. They kept flying out of the ring at each other. When they weren't doing that, they were dropping each other on the bar floor or hitting a brainbuster on a steel chair about five feet away from my seat. And even if they didn't do any of that, the in ring action was enough for it to be an awesome match. I don't know what pay scale these independent wrestlers earn, but I have trouble believing it's more than a couple hundred bucks for mid card guys. The effort and bodily harm they put out there for that money is absolutely incredible, and the crowd couldn't help but cheer both guys by the end of the match.

On top of unknown guys killing each other for a relatively small amount of money, they also had some legitimate names. The most well known were three guys from Lucha Underground, AR Fox (Dante Fox), Sami Callihan (Jeremiah Crane on LU and formerly Solomon Crowe in NXT), and Brian Cage, who I was most excited to see. That is another thing about professional wrestling; some of these dudes are big as hell, and Brian Cage is massive in person. And to see a massive guy do flips and throw people around like nothing is super damn entertaining. The great thing about the professional wrestling is it's not just entertaining for pro wrestling fans; it's just entertaining, and these guys know how to put on a show.

And most importantly, they know their audience, and most independent wrestling shows strongly gear towards entertaining adults. They dropped just about every cuss word imaginable, and since it was at a bar, the beer was flowing like...uh, beer. And when the beer turns the crowd into idiots, the wrestlers will address it. Some guys wanted to heckle Sami Callihan so after the match Callihan went nose to nose with the heckler and told him to take a shot. When the guy didn't do anything (outside of maybe pissing himself), Sami kissed him on the cheek and walked away. It was pretty hilarious.

It's insane that people will spend $15 to go to a movie where they sit quietly and watch a screen when, for five dollars more, they could see independent wrestling. You can't go see a quality live performance for anywhere near that money, especially for seats that are only a few feet away. On top of that, they will literally throw a wrestler into your lap. Heck, you might even get a kiss.

Independent wrestling is awesome. You need to see it for yourself.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Little Kids Love Pro Wrestling

So we had two young children staying at our house this week, and I learned a lot through the experience. The 7-month-old and me didn't really do much interacting. She wasn't that interested in me, and honestly, I wasn't that interested in her either. Triple B yo, Babies Be Boring. But the 3-year-old and me were more on the same wavelength. Does this mean I think like a toddler? Yes, yes it does, and I am not ashamed by that.

Anyway, I used this opportunity to poison the future potential of this country by exposing this child to pro wrestling, because of course I was going to show a 3-year-old how awesome pro wrestling is. I mean, his parents knew I was going to do it when they left, and my wife knew I was going to do it too. It was just a matter of finding the right opportunity. I kept asking if he wanted to watch wrestling, but he just kept wanting to watch episodes of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (which I will have hot takes on in the near future). Our conversations kept going like this:

Me: You want to watch wrestling?
Him: Turtles.
Me: But wrestling is super cool.
Him: Turtles.
Me (under my breath): Damnit.

This conversation happened about a half dozen times before I finally found my opening when he was putting out (imaginary) fires throughout the house. I put on Raw, but he was more playing with his trucks than actually watching. Then, Kevin Owens wrestled Neville, and it finally caught his attention and hooked him. With all of Neville's flips, he was entranced with the show. There were a bunch of near falls, and I tried to explain a 3-count to him (the pinfall type, not the boy band type), and he kind of nodded his head to make me think he understood.

Then I was sitting on the couch, and I hear him go, "1...2...3!" before jumping on my back and choking me. He did not totally understand a 3-count, but he sure did enjoy counting to three and trying to beat me up, and that's really the most important aspect of pro wrestling.

Eventually, my wife made us stop fighting, because we were being loud as he attacked, and I flipped him onto the couch, showing my dominance of 3-year-olds. She threatened that I'd have to take care of the baby if we woke it up, and that was definitely enough for me to turn off wrestling and go back to Ninja Turtles. God, wives are so lame.

So will the love of pro wrestling blossom? The bad news is that I don't think his parents want to be stuck watching pro wrestling, but the good news is that he was bragging to his parents that he beat me up when we watched wrestling. Oh, that sweet high of carefree violence. That'll get any kid coming back for more.

Pro wrestling is the best.