The WWE Is Ruining... Lana

Lana is an attractive lady who is married to Rusev, not in storyline, but in real life. Well, actually, she’s also married to him in storyline. As an adult, I think it would be really cool if she started dating Bobby Lashley. That would be a really fun angle that wouldn’t make me uncomfortable at all. In fact, I would only be uncomfortable if their first kiss didn’t look like Bobby Lashley trying to eat her as if he was a snake trying to swallow an entire rabbit. 

That would be the perfect use of Lana. Congratulations, WWE, you nailed it.

In all seriousness, Lana is a very attractive woman and has a good amount of charisma, but she has shown very little aptitude for in-ring work. Because of that, she probably is best used as a pawn for a bigger angle. I don’t think her current angle is the ideal use of her talents, but, spoiler alert, Lana will never headline WrestleMania. 

Ideally, you could use the brilliant comedic work of Rusev and make him the Bulgarian Chris Jericho, and Lana would become a slightly more attractive version of Ralphus. Just typing that makes me believe this is my best idea yet.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
Akam
Aleister Black

Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Buddy Murphy
Carmella
Cesaro
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lacey Evans

Lio Rush

Luke Gallows
Luke Harper

Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio

Rezar

Ricochet

Ronda Rousey

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tamina

Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder

The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 3

For those who missed it:
Part One
Part Two

When we last left off with Chris Jericho's WWE career, he was losing almost all of his matches, and it was to benefit the likes of Prince Albert and The Headbangers. But now, Jericho was ready for greatness, he was ready for his first memorable long-term feud in the WWE. He was ready to take on the man, the myth, the leg...wait, rewind. The woman, the myth, the legend, Chyna.

Chyna had most recently feuded with Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett had a reign of terror on women where he literally just kept beating up and demeaning women for months straight without anything bad happening to him. I thought about writing about it, but it is SUPER uncomfortable and should probably never be mentioned again. Anyway, Chyna beat Jarrett for the Intercontinental Title. In fact, she beat him so badly that he was on WCW the next night.

This led to her first title defense feud, and Jericho was the ideal foil for Chyna. He started by challenging her but getting attacked from behind when he was not paying attention. Then he challenged her to an intergender tag match where he would take a random female fan and take on her and D-Lo Brown. That random female happened to be Stevie Richards in a dress, but it still counts. Either way, Chyna stripped down Stevie and her and D-Lo got the win. Maybe things weren't quite looking up for Jericho yet.

Then, looking for an easy victory, Jericho challenged Stevie Richards to a match. Stevie came out dressed as Chyna and Jericho delivered a beating to him. But then Chyna came out and hit Jericho with the Intercontinental Title with the ref distracted, and yes, Jericho lost to Stevie Richards. While Jericho was trying with Chyna, it also turned into a Stevie Richards feud, because, you know, Jericho wasn't enough of a personality to feud with Chyna, so getting Stevie in there made sense. Stevie would lose to Chyna dressed as Jericho, and then cost Jericho a match against The Godfather by dressing as a ho and costing him the match.

But Jericho bounced back with a blistering promo on Chyna on the Raw before he would challenge her for the Intercontinental Title at Survivor Series.


He was so confident in his abilities that he promised to have a sex change if he lost to Chyna. Finally, after all the back and forth, Jericho met Chyna at Survivor Series in what was a surprisingly good match. There was back and forth, false finishes, and an entire crowd of Jerichoholics which the WWE couldn't possibly ignore. Unfortunately, your hero and mine, Y2J, was beaten by a Pedigree off the top rope for Chyna to retain her title.

The following night on Raw, Y2J was clearly distraught.

He tried to put on a brave face, but he got distracted and lost to, "The Vampire Before Vampires Were Cool," Gangrel. Jericho would get his revenge against Chyna later that night.

Because of Jericho's mighty strength, hammering a mallet near Chyna's hand caused vibrations that broke Chyna's hand. By doing this, Jericho proved that women are not as tough as men.

He used this momentum to take out the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry in his next match. After that,he took out The Godfather, because apparently Jericho was not only portrayed as sexist but racist as well.

He decided to use this momentum to challenge Big Show for the WWE Championship in a No Disqualification Match. Things were going well for Jericho until Chyna came out and hit him with a mallet. Then things were not going as well as Big Show picked up an unconscious Y2J and chokeslammed him for the win.

A week later, Y2J had finally recovered from his concussion enough to not only interrupt Mick Foley talking about making the New York Times Bestseller List but also face him in a match.

"The only reason anybody bought your book in the first place is they were hoping that you would die at the end of it." That one made me laugh out loud. It also featured Jericho proclaiming that he would write his own book. And then, despite being hit with the Intercontinental Championship by Chyna, Jericho recovered to still beat Mike Foley.

In the week leading up to his second match against Chyna at Armageddon, he tagged with Al Snow and had a no contest against The Rock n' Sock Connection on Raw before losing to Road Dogg due to Chyna interference on Smackdown.

He had his second shot at Armageddon, the last PPV of 1999, and would get the chance to the right the wrong of losing to Chyna. Amazingly, Y2J carried Chyna through another entertaining match, which included Jericho boxing, kicking, and even dropkicking the thumb that he had injured weeks earlier. After a back and forth battle, finally, your hero and mine, Y2J, overcame the odds and made Chyna submit to become the new Intercontinental Champion, a title he would hold a record nine times.

Despite Jericho being the clear heel, the crowd exploded in cheers when Chyna finally tapped out.

Finally, after months of losing to mid-level talents, and being an afterthought in more important feuds, Y2J, Chris Jericho, had risen up to get his first WWE title run. Still wrestling at the age of 47, he will go down as one of the greatest professional wrestlers of all time. It wasn't a smooth run, but there was no man or woman that was going to stop him on his way to the top.

The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 2

For those who missed it, part one is here.

When we last left Chris Jericho's run in WWE, he had just ended Ken Shamrock's career on a random episode of Smackdown. That was his most notable feud as he had also injured Road Dogg earlier in his run, but he had already gone a long ways down since going toe-to-toe with The Rock. Sadly, things were about to get a whole lot worse before they were going to get better.

First off, he went to Unforgiven, and since he had ended Shamrock's career, it was time to move on, so he fought X-Pac. Jericho lost when the Road Dogg came out to help out X-Pac.

The next night he took a giant step up in competition when he faced Big Show. But he lost by disqualification when Prince Albert interfered. Yep, Jericho was a side character in a Big Show/Prince Albert feud. On top of that, Jericho did the most painful move in pro wrestling to Big Show behind the ref's back, the low blow, and Big Show shook it off three seconds later. The low blow is enough to knock out Brock Lesnar, and Jericho couldn't even take Big Show off his feet with it. That's bringing incompetence to a new level.

Later that week, Jericho and Hughes took on the New Age Outlaws, and yet again, they were just there to set up the Outlaws for their illustrious feud with The Super Heavyweights, Crash and Hardcore Holly.

But Jericho flashed again with main event talents, as he interrupted The Rock n' Sock Connection.

Outside of dropping a hard R on Mankind, this was the most entertaining thing that Jericho accomplished in his early run in the WWE. It even had The Rock dropping shade on Juventud Guerrera, which may have sparked him to turn into Juvy Juice. But it set up a match between The Rock and Y2J, which at least made Jericho seem important again. Unsurprisingly, The Rock won, and also unsurprisingly, this match was more done to further the feud between The Rock and the British Bulldog as the Bulldog immediately ran down at the conclusion of the match. Yes, yet again, Jericho was the third wheel in a feud for two.

but Jericho would not stay down for long as he tagged with his new best friend, Curtis Hughes, to take on the newly reformed Headbangers. I thought about embedding the link to this match, but it was awful. Jericho got mad at Curtis Hughes, left the match, and the Headbangers had their triumphant return.

Finally, Jericho's attitude caught up to him as he brawled with Curtis Hughes in the locker room at the next Smackdown. They then had a match where they brawled some more, but Jericho got the upper hand when Howard Finkel distracted the ref so Y2J could hit him with a chair. Since Jericho is such a gracious winner, he gave Curtis Hughes a consolation gift after their match, the services of Harold (Jericho could never remember his name) Finkel. And most importantly, Jericho was back in the win column and would surely use this for unstoppable momentum.

At the No Mercy pay per view that week, Jericho stole the show by...not appearing or even being mentioned. He was instead downgraded to a Sunday Night Heat match against D-Lo Brown. Y2J did not win.

Somehow, someway, Jericho made it through all of this and would begin his first run to a title, but we'll get to that next time. 

The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 1

For the WWE, the Countdown to the Millennium came a few months early (and technically, a year and a few months early) as it arrived on August 9th, 1999 with the debut of Y2J, Chris Jericho. Everybody remembers the debut of Y2J as it is one of those transcendent moments that is still talked about nearly 20 years later. It helped that there was a countdown for weeks in advance; it helped that it came during the middle of a promo from The Rock, and it helped that Jericho is one of those wrestlers who doesn't just have fans, he has fanatics. If you need a refresher on the moment, take a gander below.

Even though The Rock shut up Jericho, Y2J got his revenge later in the night when he interfered in The Rock's match with The Big Show and helped Mr. Ass beat up The Rock. Maybe the most important takeaway from all of this is that yes, the WWE had a lot of stupid names during the attitude era.

The debut was obviously great, but today, I want to focus on what happened after the debut. There was a ton of momentum with Jericho coming in, but it's not like he immediately took the belt off Stone Cold Steve Austin and become the top guy in the company, so where did Jericho go from here?

Well, the next week he kept the momentum going as he interrupted The Undertaker and The Big Show which was a true "Save Us Jericho" moment as Undertaker should never speak for more than 30 seconds. He rightfully called The Undertaker "the personification of boredom." Still, it ended much like Jericho's first segment where Jericho went on his rant about saving WWE, but the WWE stalwart got the last word.

He then went on to SummerSlam to talk trash to Road Dogg, and it goes exactly like all of Jericho's previous interactions where he lambastes the stalwart WWE Superstar, and the WWE Superstar gets the last word in. Maybe the best part is when Road Dogg gets on commentary right after and admits to not owning a computer. Back then, computers were for nerds. But in a matter of a couple weeks, Jericho has gone from feuding with The Rock to The Undertaker to The Road Dogg.

Well, at least there is nowhere to go from there but up. Haha, nope, the next night he interfered in a hardcore match with Road Dogg and Al Snow. After that, Y2J needed to use Howard Finkel, who was basically being cast as a poor man's Ralphus, as bait so he could get one up on Road Dogg. And he did this all in Ames, Iowa.

Jericho finally had his first WWE match on the very first episode of Smackdown. Jericho lost the match by disqualification after putting Road Dogg through a table. After the match, he put the Walls of Jericho on Road Dogg while he was passed out on the broken table, and the entire crowd cheered the nefarious heel. Since submissions hurt far more if they are done on a table, this injured the Road Dogg, leaving Jericho to move onto his next feud.

Later in the show, Jericho saved Howard Finkel from a Ken Shamrock beatdown by hitting Shamrock with a chair before sprinting away. This led to Jericho tricking Shamrock into fighting him in a parking lot where Jericho beat him down with a shovel. Then, in a very underrated moment that I wish would have become a thing, he made Howard Finkel take polaroids of him while he had Shamrock locked in the Walls of Jericho. Finally, Jericho agreed to meet Ken Shamrock face-to-face at the following week's Smackdown.

The biggest thing that came from this was the firing of Howard Finkel as Jericho could not depend on The Fink and needed to find better help.

And so Jericho brought in Mr. Hughes. That gave him protection against Ken Shamrock without any worries of personality, so he got dressed up like this.

Before Jericho could get his hands on Shamrock, he had a match with Mr. Ass, another heel, for some reason which just showed how little WWE actually cared about Jericho's impact.

Instead of waiting until a PPV for Shamrock's first match with Jericho, they instead had Jericho take him on in a first blood match on the Smackdown immediately before INSERT PPV. Jericho wore full hockey gear to protect himself, and thanks to help from Curtis Hughes, was able to win the match by causing Ken Shamrock internal bleeding. Ken Shamrock LOVED to internally bleed. And this, yes, a comedy match, on a random Smackdown, with Jericho making him bleed with a splash while wearing hockey gear, would be Ken Shamrock's last match in the WWE.

Chris Jericho's first real feud ended with no hoopla and limited buildup, but he did technically retire Ken Shamrock. Would Jericho use this momentum to take him to new heights? LOL, it gets WAY worse from here, but I'll tackle that next time.

Breaking Down the Betting Odds of WrestleMania 33

Lukewarm Jonah: It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Wrestlemania season and that means Wrestlemania betting odds.  Joe will be there in person, but just in case he wants to pay for his ticket by winning a bunch of bets on one of the most underwhelming Wrestlemania’s in recent memory we’re going to look at the odds for the matches at the grandest stage of em all.

Joe: Let's face it, the WrestleMania 33 card looks like ass on paper. The main events were basically designed to give me the least excitement possible, so if I can't see a great WrestleMania card, maybe I can at least make some money off of this thing. Let's break down the odds and find the best bets for this Sunday.

AJ Styles (1/7)  vs. Shane McMahon (11/2):

Lukewarm Jonah: Remember last year when I picked Shane McMahon to win since he had to win in order to continue the storyline?  Well they showed me by mentioning it briefly on RAW the next day then never speaking of it again.  Anyways, AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the company by far and best all around performer.  So he’s been rewarded with dropping the world title and having a match with a non wrestler whose last name is McMahon.  If the WWE does anything besides have Styles run over McMahon after Shane jumps off of something they’re stupid.  That being said, they are very stupid.  I’m still sticking with Styles winning as he pretty much has to, but never doubt a McMahon winning a match for no reason.  

Joe: Yeah, AJ Styles pretty much has to win this match. The only conceivable reason that Shane would win is to get AJ on Raw, which I wouldn’t be totally opposed to, but the only reason I won’t boo is if the Mean Street Posse comes out to help Shane win it. Maybe a Shield style triple powerbomb with the help of Joey Abs and Pete Gas?

Neville (4/11) vs. Austin Aries (15/8):

LJ: This should be a fantastic match.  I know Joe isn’t a big fan of Aries but he was really coming into his own right as he was hurt.  Neville has been great as the King of the Cruiserweights.  They should tear the house down and have a really fun match, but I’m actually taking Aries the underdog.  He’s fresh and he’s getting big reactions from the crowd.  How am I going to bet against the Greatest Man Whoever Lived?

Joe: I am looking forward to this match as this is finally an opportunity for us little guys to shine. The cruiserweight division debuted with a wet fart, but Neville came in to save the day. I think they ride with Neville as the leader for a while longer, and he gives me at least one, “Holy shit” moment.

John Cena and Nikki Bella (1/7) vs. The Miz and Maryse (6/1)

LJ: Miz and Maryse have been carrying this feud like crazy and are doing incredible work.  That being said, those odds are probably not long enough for them.  Cena and Bella are going to win this match and have a big Wrestlemania moment.  There’s a prop bet later that I’d like to talk about, which I think all but ensures Cena and Bella’s win.

Joe: I hope this is the main event, just to give everyone horrific flashbacks to when Miz and Cena main evented a WrestleMania, and it was awful...wait a second, I’m going to be there. This is probably not a wise thing to wish upon myself. I’ll go with Cena and Bella too.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal:

Braun Strowman 1/8	Tye Dillinger 25/1	Neville 50/1
Finn Balor 7/1	Karl Anderson 25/1	Zack Ryder 50/1
Samoa Joe 7/1	Apollo Crews 25/1	Tyler Breeze 50/1
Big Show 7/1	Shawn Michaels 25/1	Titus O'Neil 50/1
Sami Zayn 11/1	Austin Aries 25/1	HHH 50/1
Big Cass 12/1	Randy Orton 25/1	Bo Dallas 66/1
Luke Harper 14/1	John Cena 25/1	Jimmy Uso 66/1
Kurt Angle 20/1	Dean Ambrose 25/1	Heath Slater 66/1
Elias Samson 20/1	Big E 25/1	Charlotte 66/1
Mark Henry 20/1	AJ Styles 25/1	Jey Uso 66/1
Kofi Kingston 22/1	Luke Gallows 25/1	Goldust 80/1
Shinsuke Nakamura 22/1	Kevin Owens 25/1	Curtis Axel 80/1
Dolph Ziggler 22/1	Sheamus 25/1	R-Truth 80/1
The Miz 22/1	Jeff Hardy 33/1	Darren Young 80/1
Kane 22/1	Kalisto 33/1	Jack Swagger 90/1
Rusev 22/1	Roman Reigns 33/1	Batista 100/1
Seth Rollins 22/1	Chris Jericho 33/1	The Undertaker 100/1
Baron Corbin 22/1	The Rock 33/1	Brock Lesnar 100/1
Cesaro 22/1	Hulk Hogan 33/1	Conor McGregor 150/1
Hideo Itami 22/1	Stone Cold Steve Austin 33/1	CM Punk 200/1
Bobby Roode 25/1	Xavier Woods 50/1	Ronda Rousey 250/1

LJ: Always some interesting and fun odds on the Andre The Giant memorial Battle Royal.  Good odds on anyone not named Braun Strowman.  It’s easy to see why, he’s a monster and he just lost some of his heat by being beaten by Reigns.  The two names I’m interested in are two guys who were interesting in the Royal Rumble, Finn Balor and Sami Zyan.  I think they hold off on Balor’s return to help Seth out so I’ll go with good old underdog Sami Zyan to win it.

Joe: Looking at this list, it’s pretty shocking how many great wrestlers have nothing important to do at WrestleMania. Braun Strowman has been awesome these past few months, Samoa Joe has been eating people’s hearts, and Sami Zayn is my (insert heart emoji). Oh yeah, there’s also Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, and THE ENTIRE NEW DAY. They should, like, put all of those people in a Money in the Bank match for my own happiness. Instead, they’re probably all in this battle royal, and I guess I’ll go with Sami Zayn, as I don’t see any surprise debut appearances, and eventually Sami Zayn needs to win something.

Kevin Owens (2/7) vs. Chris Jericho (3/1) United States Title Match

LJ: By far the best booked storyline going into Wrestlemania.  The Kevin and Chris friendship express was extremely entertaining for months and the Festival of Friendship was one of the best segments in years.  Owens is the favorite here since he’s the full time guy and rumor is Jericho might be going on tour with Fozzy soon.  I’m actually taking the underdog Jericho here to win and redeem himself by getting revenge on the guy who screwed him over.  I’m guessing there’s an Owens destruction the next night on RAW but I’m taking Jericho to pull off the win here.

Joe: This is definitely the most interesting storyline, and that’s because it’s from two of wrestling’s most entertaining performers. Even as a Jerchoholic, I’ll admit, I did not see Jericho having this sort of run again. He has been so phenomenal this past year, and it’s truly incredible that he has found a way to reinvent himself yet again. And that’s not taking anything away from Owens who is relentless in and out of the ring, and he will literally just wear you down with everything he does until you are entertained. Still, Jericho deserves to get one up on Owens so I’m going to agree with you and take Jericho to get the win.

The Club (11/10) vs. Enzo and Big Cass (7/5) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro (5/2) RAW Tag Team Title match.

LJ: The Club has been booked terribly since coming to the WWE and they continue their terrible booking by attacking their partners in a handicap match ensuring that they’ll be in a triple threat at Wrestlemania.  But Enzo and Big Cass are the picks here, the WWE wants to push them and they should.  They’ll give them their Wrestlemania moment of winning the tag team titles here.  Probably after The Club lays down and lets them beat them because they’re just tired of carrying them around.

Joe: Well, Monday night, to build interest in this tag match, it was turned into a ladder match, but I was already excited, mostly because it has my man Antonio Cesaro in it. Now that there’s a ladder involved, expect Cesaro to do something incredibly dangerous and/or incredibly strong in this match. I still don’t think him and Sheamus are winning, as I agree that it’s probably time to put the belts on Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady.

Bayley (1/3) vs. Sasha Banks (3/1) vs. Charlotte (8/1) vs. Nia Jax (14/1).  RAW Women’s Title match.

LJ: How terribly has this been booked?  It’s really how terribly Bayley has been booked.  He have a dominant heel champ with a PPV unbeaten streak and the biggest PPV of the year coming up.  We also have an organically over babyface in Bayley that basically everyone loves.  Let’s have the babyface win the title on RAW by interference, and break the PPV streak at a nothing PPV by interference.  Perfect.  Anyways,the one part of this feud that’s been booked decently is the fact that Sasha Banks should be turning heel soon and I think she turns heel at Wrestlemania.  Charlotte was right this entire time and Banks screws over Bayley at Wrestlemania and takes the title.  The good news going forward is that RAW has almost no face women, but hey who cares right?

Joe: I agree that Bayley has been booked terribly, but this is the match that I am most confident in delivering an awesome performance. It’s kind of crazy how much women’s wrestling has changed in the past couple years. Two years ago, Paige had the main women’s match, and I’m pretty sure it was against Nikki Bella but not totally sure. Either way, it was totally forgettable. Of course, two nights before that, Sasha Banks and Charlotte tore it up at the NXT show, and it is absolutely criminal that that match is not available for viewing, because it was pretty damn awesome. Anyway, Charlotte and Sasha Banks are the two best women’s wrestlers around; Bayley isn’t far behind (but she is behind), and Nia Jax plays an important role of just getting to ragdoll little girls like Sasha. But I agree with you, Bruce Springsteen (The Boss) wins the title here.

Alexa Bliss (5/2) vs. Becky Lynch (5/2) vs. Mickie James (6/1) vs. Natalya (9/1) vs. Carmella (14/1) vs. Naomi (5/4) vs. ???

LJ: So, it’s the Smackdown women’s title match Alexa Bliss taking on all available Smackdown women.  There are odds on a few more women, and Asuka is one of them at (16/1).  The smart money seems to be on Naomi returning and winning the belt she never lost.  Becky Lynch is always a threat and Mickie James has some attractive odds as well.  Carmella is definitely more likely to win this match than Natalya so I like her odds as well.  The “All available Smackdown women” comment from Daniel Bryan has to mean that someone unexpected will win the match.  I’ll go with the favorite Naomi to make her return and take back the title.  

Joe: Here’s my surprise for Mania. Asuka wins the Smackdown Women’s Title. I think she loses her NXT title on Saturday night, and then makes her surprise debut in this match and wrecks worlds.

Seth Rollins (1/4) vs. Triple H (7/2) Unsanctioned match

LJ: First question, what the hell is an unsanctioned match, and if anyone’s in one why is it the CFO of the company?  I honestly don’t know if this means it’s a No DQ match or what, but Rollins should really win.  Triple H is always the biggest, toughest, coolest guy in feuds and he’s pretty much dominated Rollins to this point.  But Rollins is his guy, Triple H really likes him so I’m going to do something that’s bitten me in the ass before and think that Rollins picks up the win here.  He probably gets a Samoa Joe beatdown afterwards to write him off while he recovers, but I think he pulls it out.

Joe: Jonah, don’t you get it? All other WrestleMania matches are sanctioned, but this match, this match is unsanctioned. Triple H wrote up an ironclad contract (thanks to help from Big Johnny) that means that Seth Rollins can’t sue no matter what Triple H does. Triple H is known as The Game. What’s the world’s most dangerous game? That’s right, hunting fellow human beings. Triple H is going to shoot Seth Rollins, but it’ll be fine, because it’s unsanctioned. Seth Rollins still wins, because DAVENPORT, IOWA RULES!

Roman Reigns (2/7) vs. The Undertaker (5/2)

LJ: Don’t worry everybody, the WWE heard your demands for a dream match and put the top face against The Undertaker, that’s right it’s John Cena oh crap I mean Roman Reigns.  It’s the Big Dog’s yard now everybody.  Also, please call him the Big Dog and wear my super illegally designed Big Dog Roman Reigns shirt while you do it.  Rumor has it, this might be The Undertaker’s last match.  I don’t think it is, but who knows.  It sure looks like this is when Roman Reigns finally turns heel because you know he’s getting booed out of the building if he beats The Undertaker.  Instead, Roman probably beats The Undertaker, Taker shakes his hand and passes the torch to him and crowds continue to shit all over it.  Big Dog for the win.

Joe: Oh man do I not give a shit about supernatural characters. I’ll take Undertaker, because he’s due for a win at Mania. He hasn’t gotten one in a year.

Dean Ambrose (+350) vs. Baron Corbin (-600) Intercontinental Title match.

LJ: I’m a little surprised by these odds too.  I mean it makes sense that they want to push Corbin as the new monster and give him a good title win, but he dropped a forklift on Ambrose and it sure seems like he should get his revenge.  So screw it, I’m going with Ambrose getting that revenge on Corbin and winning at Wrestlemania.

Joe: I’ll agree that these odds are surprising. I thought I could make good money off Corbin, as I think it makes sense for him to win, mostly because a small child could produce more believable offense than Dean Ambrose. So let’s stick with the Lone Wolf to go 2-0 at WrestleManias and make a real run at Undertaker’s streak.

Randy Orton (4/11) vs. Bray Wyatt (13/5) WWE Championship match.

LJ: This is actually a bit of a tough one to call.  Orton’s storyline is that he couldn’t beat Bray so he joined on him and then turned on him and burnt down his house.  Wyatt got his revenge by rubbing dirt on himself.  The conclusion of this storyline should be Orton winning and finally overcoming Wyatt.  However, Wyatt just won the title a month ago and is getting very strong reactions.  Also, he did get his house burnt down, so the WWE’s 50/50 booking should get the win.  It’s a tough one, but I’m taking the favorite Orton.  The WWE sure loves them some Randy Orton so he probably gets his redemption and wins the title.

Joe: Oh man do I not give a shit about supernatural characters. Let’s go with Bray Wyatt winning with help from Sister Abigail who will be portrayed by noneother than Sunny. Now that’s a prediction.

Brock Lesnar (1/9) vs. Goldberg (9/1) WWE Universal Title match.

LJ: Here it is folks your main event of the evening.  Which part timer will win the championship?  Obviously, Goldberg has completely dominated this feud going back to the time they fought years ago.  This means Lesnar basically has to win the belt.  At least he can last more than two minutes in a match.  The real question is whether he walks out with the belt, or if we get some shenanigans to get the title on someone who actually appears on RAW.  Could be at Wrestlemania, could be the next night on RAW, or he could just hold the belt, appear every couple of months and eventually lose it to Roman Reigns.

Joe: Holy shit, they really need Lesnar to win this thing. I hope it’s a shoot and we see who the better real fighter is. But if they want to make it interesting, you have Lesnar win, and then you have the man who never lost the title, Finn Balor, come out, challenge Brock Lesnar to an impromptu match and win the title before the night ends. It makes everybody happy, except for Goldberg’s shirtless child, but judging by that belly, the sweets he’s been eating should keep him fat and happy.

Prop Bets:

LJ: My favorite prop bet of the night is whether John Cena proposes to Nikki Bella at Wrestlemania.  Yes is (4/9) and I’m betting this happens for sure.  The angle has been about Nikki Bella being unable to get Cena to propose and you know Cena wants to do it at Wrestlemania.  Also, wasn’t The Big Show supposed to fight Shaq?  It looks like this match isn’t happening but you can bet on whether or not Shaq (4/1) will appear in the ring at Wrestlemania, so if it does happen you can bet on it and win some money.  There’s also a prop bet for whether or not Finn Balor (4/9) appears in a ring and I think that’s almost guaranteed so that’s a safe one too.  There are no odds for a Smackdown Tag Team title match, but The Usos will probably retain against American Alpha.  

Joe: I’m not sure about prop bets, but I already predicted an appearance from Asuka. Also, I say Hulk Hogan makes his triumphant return, and we also get appearances from The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Vin Diesel. Since there should probably be an NXT guy in the battle royal, I’ll go with Tye Dillinger maybe getting the permanent callup at this point. And finally, I’ll say that Dolph Ziggler pays homage to Rick Rude and air brushes Jake Roberts’s wife on his crotch. Where can I get odds on that?