The WWE Is Ruining... Kane

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, it is time to talk about the devil's favorite demon, KANE.

How is the WWE ruining Kane? Well, first off, this mayor of "Knox County," Tennessee is soooo dumb. Politics gimmicks never work, because they're always fake, and they're always stupid. Remember Hulk hogan running for president, or Bob Backlund running for president, or Linda McMahon running for congress? All fake and all dumb. This one is even dumber as they are claiming that he actually won the election. Yeah, and I'm the mayor of Parts Unknown.

There is only one thing that can take Kane or his new gimmick of Glenn Jacobs (what a stupid name for a mayor), and that is getting him a secretary. A secretary could bring out his worst instincts and help him turn back into the devil's favorite demon. But who should that secretary be? There is really only one choice.

Katie Vick.

I mean, it's perfect. The dead, possibly raped, body of Kane's former lover coming back from the dead to help him find his inner demon. Now, outside of Triple H mimicking sex with a dummy in a casket, we have never had a physical form to Ms. Vick. That may seem like a problem, but it's actually a huge opportunity as you could literally put anyone in that spot. If you don't think anyone can live up to the hype, make her a character like Vera from Cheers where she is only offscreen, pulling the strings.

Everyone agrees that Kane was at his best when Katie Vick was involved, and if you bring Vick back, there is no ceiling on his potential. Even if Katie Vick was a little crass for your personal tastes, you've gotta admit, it's a whole lot better than this Glenn Jacobs - Knox County Mayor gimmick, right?

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze