The Disappointment of the Luol Deng Trade

The Bulls traded Luol Deng to the Cavaliers for Andrew Bynum, a Sacramento Kings first round pick, and two second round picks from the Portland Trail Blazers, and the right to swap picks with the Cavaliers in 2015). Well, they kind of traded Luol Deng for that. Let's break it down piece-by-piece.

Luol Deng is going to the Cavaliers. This is indisputable and is 100% happening. Luol is a very good, yet not great small forward. Most people don't know this, but Luol has terrible hemorrhoids, so Thibodeau spares him by never resting him on the bench. Thibs is a really good guy who cares about his player's well-being, so if you see Luol only playing 36 minutes a game for the Cavaliers, it means Mike Brown hates him. In all seriousness, Luol could definitely help a contender, and his contract is up at the end of the year, so he is a very nice piece to add to a team. He's a good slasher who plays excellent defense, and outside of the teams that rely on spreading the floor as much as possible, he could have been a very nice piece for a contender. Instead, he goes to the Cavaliers, and probably adds enough to get them into the playoffs where they are dominated in the first round. 

In exchange, the Bulls got Andrew Bynum. By all accounts, they are going to waive him as soon as possible, but it made the salaries work, so whatever. The Bulls aren't contending this season, so getting any player for this year makes zero sense.

They also received two second round picks (in 2015 and 2016) from the Cavaliers, although those picks actually belong to the Portland Trail Blazers, so they are likely going to be middle of the pack (I think the Blazers are good, but I'm not buying that they are an elite team in the West). Those can get filler players, but nothing special.

They also have the option of switching first round picks with the Cavaliers in 2015, but only if Cleveland has the 15th pick or lower. This may be the piece that excites me the most, as the Cavaliers definitely have the potential to be a very low playoff seed, and if the Bulls have a good offseason and Derrick Rose finally stays healthy, they could be contenders. Going from 26 to 16 would be a nice step up if everything breaks right.

The crown jewel of the trade is the Sacramento Kings's first round pick. Unfortunately, the chances of the Bulls actually cashing in on this is 50/50. For this year, that Kings pick is Top-12 protected, so there is no way the Bulls are getting it this year. It is Top-10 protected for 2015-2017, and at that point, it becomes a second round pick. I know this draft is loaded, but the Kings are still not built well for the future. I love DeMarcus Cousins, but the guy still doesn't play defense all the time, and even with dominant offensive days from him, the Kings still usually lose. Rudy Gay is an above average player who will likely be bolting after his monstrous contract is done. Isaiah Thomas will be commanding some decent money this offseason, and he does some things very well, and other areas he struggles. Ben McLemore is the wildcard for this team. He shows flashes, and if he can fulfill his potential, they can be dangerous. But the West is stacked, and if we're ranking teams' four-year outlook, the Kings are probably only definitely ahead of the Jazz and Lakers while probably being near the same level as the Nuggets, Timberwolves, and Grizzlies. 

In the end, this could be three second round picks for the Bulls, and that is a pretty disappointing haul. It could also be two second round picks, a mid first rounder, and a trade up of about 10 spots in another first round. That sounds good on paper, but how long can the Bulls look to the future when they have a core that is built for the present? 

Having money to spend is nice, but I can't really think of a great way to spend it outside of bringing Mirotic over. That gives them a potential starting five of Noah, Gibson/Boozer, Mirotic, Butler, and Rose with plenty of money if they amnesty Boozer. But whether they can spend that money wisely on filling out a bench is questionable. 

Plus, the front office and Thibodeau do not get along, and tanking this season may give them the excuse to get a new coach. Although I disagree with how Thibs uses minutes with some players, he is an excellent coach, and they will likely be taking a step back with whoever they bring in. 

Luol Deng was a very good player for the Bulls, and although I think it was wise to not invest a ton of money in him for the future, I am still going to miss him. The assets they received in return are nice, but it still doesn't make me feel good about the Bulls in the present or the future. That's why I'm disappointed.

Bulls Targets for the 2013 NBA Draft

Since I am a blind optimist, I am assuming the Bulls are one piece away from winning the 2014 NBA Championship. I also think the Cubs are on the upswing, and the Bears will be lethal after they get rid of Jay Cutler after the season. I really wish I cared about hockey, because then I could celebrate the Blackhawks title, but I'm not, so the last pro title I got to celebrate was the Bulls 1998 title. Ah, those were the days.

But back to this current Bulls roster. They're totally awesome as long as Derrick Rose eventually plays basketball again. There are rumors that the Bulls might try and trade Luol Deng for a top pick, which I wouldn't be mad at. They don't lose much in going from Deng to Jimmy Butler, and Butler is still getting better. I don't expect that to happen, but I wouldn't be surprised if Deng did get traded for some sort of asset this offseason.

The great thing about the Bulls is that despite their front office never being mentioned as doing a good job, they do a really good job. Picking up Butler and Marquis Teague in the last two drafts both appear to be quality selections. Yeah, it's a little early on Teague, but I think with more playing time, the game will slow down for him, and he has the skills to succeed. Also, they keep putting together a successful bench, which is probably part front office and part Thibodeau getting the most out of his players.

The number one hole the Bulls have is at shooting guard. I could see the Bulls going bigger and having Butler at the two, but they would still need a good wing backup so Deng and Butler only play 45 minutes a night instead of 48. The other big need is at center, because I don't think they plan on Nazr hanging on for one more year, since he barely crawled through this season, but we'll always have this moment:

So, here are my top five choices for the Bulls at 20.

1. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope - KCP was originally projected to be picked around 20. Then people started watching him, and now there is a good chance he goes in the Top 10. Still, we're basing this information off mock drafts. Maybe he falls later, and the Bulls can scoop him up. He's a two-guard who can shoot and is athletic enough to score off the dribble. All you need is athleticism and you can be a good defender for Thibodeau, so yeah, he's dreamy. This is the dream scenario.

2. Reggie Bullock - Bullock kind of got lost in the shuffle at UNC, but he's pretty legit. He's not going to be an impact player, but he's a guy who can play good defense and make corner 3's. That's really all the Bulls need for that position.

3. Gorgui Dieng - This is the ideal center choice. Injury concerns are scary, but if he does stay healthy, he can come in and be Omer Asik for the Bulls. He would be a top 15 pick if he didn't have the injury concerns, so if he fell to the Bulls, I could dig that.

4. Tim Hardaway Jr. - He can create off the dribble, which would be a valuable asset for the Bulls bench.

5. Kelly Olynyk - A high energy big man seems like just the thing that Thibodeau would love to add to the squad.

Honorable Mention - I don't know enough about Jamaal Franklin or Tony Mitchell, since I never watch small school basketball. They both seem like decent players.

But the important thing is that the Bulls are going to win the title next year. I'll see you all at the parade.

Derrick Rose Is Definitely The Most Exciting Player In The NBA

About six weeks ago, I wrote an article explaining why Derrick Rose was a more exciting player than Blake Griffin. I am happy to say that Derrick Rose left no doubt in anyone's mind after what he did to the Boston Celtics last night to just about lock up the number one seed for the Bulls.

There isn't a whole lot I need to say about the matter, so let's just show a couple of his "Holy Shit" moments from last night's game.

Yep, just a casual crossover move that makes Rondo look like an idiot, and then going up between two big men and putting in a scoop layup. Just ho-hum stuff from the MVP (I don't care about your silly statistics) of the league.  Just look how happy it made Tom Thibodeau.

And then he did this.

Yep, he really did that. This was Joakim Noah's reaction to the play.

And on top of all of this, he decimated Rajon Rondo. Anybody can look at the stat sheet and see that, but to actually watch the game brings it to another level of domination. Rajon Rondo was not bested in basketball last night by a better player, he was annihilated as a person by a superior human being. The look on his face made it look as if his sister, mother, and grandma had just propositioned Derrick Rose for a foursome (Rose would obviously turn them down since they look like aliens). The massacre that Rose did to Rondo made Mortal Kombat look like The Teletubbies.

With all of this, it's scary to think that the Bulls really didn't play up to their full potential. Rose, the shooting guard trifecta, and Deng played great games, but Boozer was awful in the first half before bouncing back in the second half, and Noah was a non-factor for the most part (to be fair, it's clear that his ankle could use a little more time to rest).

So yeah, for Bulls fans, these playoffs are going to be fun.

-Joe

P.S. Don't ask me how I found this, and don't ask me what I think. I honestly can't tell if this show is genius or absolute garbage. Hence, it gets posted on the blog.

It's Always Sunny in the United Center - Part One

The Chicago Bulls have been an awesome team to watch this year.  Even for non-Bulls fans, they may be the most fun team to watch in the entire NBA.  Between Derrick Rose making a few jaw-dropping plays every game, Joakim Noah hustling all over the floor, and Boozer crashing the boards for putbacks, there is a very high entertainment value involved with the Bulls.  Because of this high entertainment value, they will be honored in the greatest way possible, with a multi-part series on this blog.  Since any jerkoff can tell you that the Bulls are awesome, I will blend sports and pop culture when I compare the Chicago Bulls to the characters of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Today, I present part one.

Derrick Rose – Dennis Reynolds – I’ll admit that this was the toughest one to assign, because Rose is so much more awesome than anybody else out there that it’s tough to find the right counterpart on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Still, I focused on the leap that Derrick Rose has made this season.  Dennis began his leap late in the season last year with the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, followed by “implications” made in the boat episode, and had a catch with Chase Utley while advising us to just say yes.  Dennis has made the leap, and so has Derrick Rose as he has gone from “wow, that guy knows how to play basketball” awesome, to “you don’t change the channel when the Bulls are playing” awesome.    Seriously, if you haven’t watched much NBA this season, watch the Bulls as he is guaranteed to make at least two jaw-dropping plays during any game.

 

Joakim Noah – Charlie Kelly – This is a matter of anybody who watches them a lot loves every second that they appear on their television screen.  Much the way that outsiders think It’s Always Sunny is stupid if they only tune in for five minutes, fans of other NBA teams hate Noah.  Both of these types of people are morons.  Sure, both of these guys are out of their god-damned minds, but they do it in such a loveable way.  Plus, these are two guys that are willing to do the dirty work as Noah gets boards and plays tough defense while Charlie smashes rats and looks for treasure in the sewer.

Taj Gibson – Frank Reynolds – When everyone’s healthy, Taj is not a starter, just like Frank did not start off in the show until Season Two.  Although, he’s not one of the main four people, Frank’s impact is immeasurable, and I feel the same way about Taj.  Let’s face it, shooting guard is not a strength for this team, so Taj is definitely our fifth most valuable player.  Although, neither of these two have classic good looks, I smile when I see Taj smile, and I smile when I see Frank crawling out of a leather couch naked.   

And just like Frank helps Charlie with dirty work, Taj does the same thing for Noah.

Carlos Boozer – Mac – These two are both necessities for the success of their team.  They’re both versatile as Boozer can score from inside, but can also nail a jumper, while Mac can be funny with his physical humor and his wit.  Because of Rose’s presence, Boozer never gets top billing, but he’s also crucial nearly every night like Mac is crucial in every episode.  Rarely will you say that Mac totally owned an episode on his own, but it is rare when you won’t say that Mac and Charlie or Mac and Dennis, etc. were awesome in the episode.  If you team him with the right people, he is somebody who can dominate, but he will always have an impact, much like Mac does something important in every episode. 

Luol Deng – The Lawyer – These are two guys where you thought you would hate them, but the more you see them, the more you enjoy their presence.  The Lawyer has great versatility as he knows when to keep his cool, when to explode with anger, and also when to accept a challenge to a duel.  The same is true for Deng, as he has a decent jumper, plays good defense, and is always a solid contributor.  All the lawyer does is screw over the gang, but you still love him.  And let’s face it, everyone has wanted Deng in about 35 different trades over the last three years.  When you actually watch him though, he may not jump off the screen, but he’s essential to the greater good of the team like the lawyer is essential for the greater good of society.

That's all for part one; I'll be back tomorrow with more Bulls talk.

-Joe

P.S.  I know this has been all over the Internet, but I still don't understand how a beer can fill up from the bottom.

MTV and the 2010-11 Chicago Bulls

The Chicago Bulls season tips off tomorrow, and I figured I would give you a completely biased (and possibly horribly uninformed) look at this year's team. Since some people think I go overboard on pop culture and others hate it when I talk about sports, I have decided to tie in every Chicago Bulls player with someone on MTV so everybody can be happy (or everyone will hate it).

Omer Asik - How do you spell baller in Turkish? I bet every Turkish sportswriter knows from covering the crowned jewel of Turkey. Asik is probably the biggest celebrity coming out Turkey since Tarkan, you know the singer who some consider the "Prince of Pop." Wait, you didn't know? Geez people, get some culture and watch MTV Turkey every now and then. Back to Asik, he's going to be a beast off the bench, crashing boards, blocking shots, and probably banging multiple members of the Luvabulls. Expect him to be a candidate for the sixth man award.

Keith Bogans - Last I heard he was are starting shooting guard for opening night. Expect him to be like Puck on defense, because he is going to be causing all sorts of problems for opposing offenses. Being from Kentucky, this guy knows a thing or two about horses. If you're looking to pick a dark horse for an All-Star selection, look no further than this former Wildcat.

Carlos Boozer - His last name is Boozer. His brother went to Iowa State. Hey, we all have relatives we aren't proud of, can't hold that against him. Expect this guy to take full advantage of the night life in Chicago until he goes on a double date with Slutty & J-Cutty and meets the woman of his dreams, Lo from The Hills. Expect him to make the All-Star team.

Ronnie Brewer - Could there be a better team of players than Boozer and Brewer? Gar Forman, you magnificent bastard; this is a match made in Heaven. Brewer never gets tired as he survives strictly off Ron-Ron Juice, and you should see this fool at the club. There's something about Ronnies that dominate the club life.
Expect this guy to be the NBA's best wingman.

Luol Deng - This guy is the Ronnie-Sammi relationship. Everyone wants to get rid of it, but it's still there, hanging around, with occasional entertainment. Expect Deng's season to be the more exciting moments of Ron-Ron triple kissing two grenades instead of the times where Sammi got angry at nothing. Expect an All-Star selection for this handsome Devil (Get it? Because he went to Duke, so he was a Blue Devil. Yeah? Yeah.)

Taj Gibson - Weird name? Gritty? Scary to run into at night? Probably banged The Miz? Check, check, check, and well, hopefully not a check, but yes, Taj Gibson is the Coral of the Chicago Bulls. Expect him to lead the NBA in flagrant fouls, because he doesn't wrestle, he beats bitches up.

James Johnson - Yeah, poor James Johnson is definitely Brandon from this year's challenge. He's really trying his best to stay on the team, but the Bulls are looking for any reason to get rid of him. He was the Bulls first round pick, but they still nearly declined his option for this year. If the NBA institutes a gulag, wait for mad hysteria when James Johnson takes out Brian Cardinal. Otherwise, expect him to be the Mateen Cleaves of the Chicago Bulls.

Kyle Korver - Korver is unfortunately Dunbar. He appears to have all the tools to be great, but they both have fatal flaws that relegate them to role players. Korver can't play defense, and Dunbar is so uncoordinated that he would have a heart attack if he tried chewing gum while tying his shoes. Still, expect Korver to win the NBA 3-Point Shootout.

Joakim Noah - This is the easiest comparison as Noah is so clearly the Snooki of the Chicago Bulls. People who don't watch the show immediately hate Snooki and don't understand her appeal. She's not attractive, she's not smart, she really doesn't have much personality. There's no reason to like Snooki, yet she has captured the hearts of America. The same is true of Noah. Fans of other teams hate Noah and thinks he sucks. But they don't get it. He's not a great scorer, he's not terribly athletic, and he's certainly not attractive, but he is so much better than the sum of his parts. He hustles his ass off, and he has captured the hearts of Chicago Bulls fans. Expect him to be named Defensive Player of the Year.

Derrick Rose - The essential piece of the Chicago Bulls can be summed up in the NBA and MTV terms by three simple letters: M...V...P. Mike, Vinny, and Pauly provided all the entertainment for Season 2 of Jersey Shore, and expect Derrick Rose to do the same for the Chicago Bulls. The parallels are eerie as they were great in season one, but they showed a new swagger in season two. Expect Rose to have that same swagger as he cruises to NBA MVP.

Brian Scalabrine - Fucking worthless like Angelina. Expect him to be released by December.

Kurt Thomas - Thomas is like Derrick from all the challenges. He's gritty as all hell, but he never had the team around him to ever actually pull off the victory. Finally, Derrick won a challenge; expect the same fate for Kurt Thomas this year. Expect him to be NBA's Man of the Year.

C.J. Watson - Since he is backing up MVP, I think the most logical character is Jose from Jersey Shore. Watson also has an affinity for impressing his ladies with the finest of watches that Fossil has to offer, at $59.95, he knows how to treat a lady. Still, if we never see him, that'll mean that our MVP is tearing things up, and that's a good thing. Expect him to team up with Sylvia Fowles of the WNBA's Chicago Sky to win the Two-on-two competition during NBA's All-Star Weekend.

This is either the dumbest or most brilliant article I have ever written.

-Joe

P.S. Jose Canseco just had puppies. Could there be any event more geared towards me in the history of the universe? I doubt it. Take a deep breath before looking at the picture, because it may be an overload of cuteness: