Alex Wright - The German Hulk Hogan

Alex Wright is not a name that sticks with the casual wrestling fan. He is most known as being a dancing, German jobber and didn't make a huge impact on the sport. But he was a dancing, German jobber, so I obviously loved him. I mean, just look at this guy:

And that was in preparation to take on Triple H. He straight up punked The Game. What's not to love? Alex Wright could have been so much more in different circumstances. Just with his dancing, he's one of the most charismatic Euorpean pro wrestlers in history; I mean, he's basically the Hulk Hogan of Germany.

But he wasn't just a master on the dance floor; he was also a master on the microphone, with many claiming he was the most influential German orator since a certain unnamed 1940s dictator.

I'm always a big fan of when foreigners make fun of Ameicans for only being able to speak one language, as it is a COMPLETELY legitimate claim, because Americans are so xenophobic that ehy only learn to speak Murrican. Also, I am 100% guilty of this, as I did not care to learn Spanish when I had the chance.  He then calls out DDP, which is probably a good call, because DDP's Vegas White Trash look really was the epitome of stupid Americans, but without looking it up, I'm going to go out on a limb and say Alex Wright did not beat DDP and go on to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title at Halloween Havoc. Must have been some interference.

But why pick on DDP when you can pick on Tony Schiavone?

He calls Schiavone a "Pig of a man. An overweight, out of shape, LOSER." This man was basically German Donald Trump. Das Wunderkind for next German Fuhrer. He does get a little lost when he calls out Americans for being losers, but then individually calls out every European wrestler, who are also losers. He was mostly right, but dead wrong when he included Norman Smiley in that group.

Obviously, he was great cutting promos on cable television, so the only question left was whether he could take it to the most important medium of them all. Could Alex Wright, Das Wunderkind, convince you to select him in a video game? I think this video gives a definitive answer.

Oh, hell yeah. I want high-flying acrobatics and total wrestling action, so I am definitely going to find out what Alex Wright is all about.

So what did the dancing and the mic skills lead to? Probably three of the most unforgettable title runs in WCW history. He won the Cruiserweight Title and feuded with Jericho for about a month before losing the belt. Then, less than a week later, he won the TV Title from Ultimo Dragon before losing the title to Disco Inferno who would later become his tag partner as they formed the Dancing Fools, which, shockingly, did not lead to a run with the titles.

Then Alex Wright dyed his hair, got a mohawk, and became Berlyn. It did not work out well, as you can see here.

Luckily, Alex Wright reformed his tag team with Disqo Inferno (who changed his name to be more like Sisqo) and they became Boogie Knights. They had a feud with the Natural Born Thrillers, but Disqo got hurt. It didn't matter thought, as General Rection subbed in for him and he and Alex Wright won the Tag Titles together. Since this was late era WCW, Wright defended the titles with Elix Skipper as his partner a few days later and lost it to different members of the Natural Born Thrillers. He remained on the WCW roster until the bitter end but never transitioned to the WWE.

He was known as Das Wunderkind, Berlyn, and The German Hulk Hogan. In the end, he was just Alex Wright, and although it was a goofy career, maybe it was just Wright.

I Want to Hang Out with The Fabulous Freebirds

Being born in 1984, the entire 80s is a dark period for me when it comes to WCW wrestling. I either remember or have rewatched numerous times the important matches from the WWE, but that era of WCW is a pretty big dark spot in my knowledge of pro wrestling history. Watching the WWE Network has been fantastic in that I have learned so much about that era of WCW. Maybe the most important thing that I have learned is there may not be a group of pro wrestlers that I would rather hang out with than the Fabulous Freebirds.

Although their ring work would never win any awards, these guys understood that wrestling is sports entertainment as they knew how to entertain a crowd. Although purists probably consider Buddy Roberts as a true Freebird, for my money, there was no greater combination than Michael P.S. (Pure Sexy) Hayes, Terry Gordy, and Jimmy "Jam" Garvin (who was also referred to as "Gorgeous" Jimmy Garvin).

Jimmy Garvin is the happiest person on the planet. They did a promo after wrestling to a time-limit draw, and all he could do was talk about how great a draw was. He admitted that it wasn't as good as a win, but it's still pretty damn good. Also, Michael P.S. Hayes was a guy I only remember late in his career when he had lost a step (or 30), but he was pretty great in his prime. Those two guys were originators in the field of West Coast Dance as they would take turns dancing as the other one just aggressively pointed at him. It was wonderful. Then Terry Gordy was one of the ugliest people ever, but a total bruiser. He was rightfully phased out, so Garvin and Hayes could follow their true destiny and become the hard partying rock stars of wrestling.

To simplify it, the best I can do is a comparison to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I can just about guarantee that Michael Hayes used the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Jimmy Garvin used the M.A.C. and Gordy took the scraps. I guess this makes Buddy Roberts Rickety Cricket and DDP is Schmitty.

Guys, if you're reading this, I'm near the Tampa area, and my offer stands to party. I'll supply the booze, you supply the stories, and together, we'll have one hell of a time (And if you need chicks, we can go to a strip club, just don't tell my wife). 

Lee Marshall: The Nicest Guy In Pro Wrestling

During my childhood, I met a few wrestlers over the years, and every time, I got punked out. When I met Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly, DDP withheld my autograph to ask me, "What's the magic word?" Since I had just waited in a line for two hours, I mumbled a bunch of words until he notified me that the magic words were thank you. Thanks for the pop quiz, asshole.

Before that, it was Jake "The Snake" Roberts. About three people in front of me, he asked a kid his name so he could make out an autograph to him. When I got up there, I proudly stated my name, "Joey" (I had not matured into the man that has become Hott Joe at that point), and I will paraphrase here, but he responded with something like, "Well, Joey, we're doing a little something called speed signing, so if you want your name on it, you can sign it yourself." Needless to say, I sometimes wish that DDP Yoga had the reverse effect on people's lives.

This brings me to Lee Marshall. Lee Marshall is an obscure reference, even for avid wrestling fans. He was most famous for being the king of Nitro parties, which were a thing back in the 90s. But one year, the Great American Bash came near my hometown, and I got seats near the announcing table. Lee Marshall was walking by, and I yelled, "Lee Marshall, you're the man" (I know, you're impressed with how creative I was to come up with that one on the fly), and instead of being a dick like DDP and Jake, he responded, "No, no, no, you're the man." That's all I needed to become a lifelong fan of Lee Marshall. To honor him, I will hold a Raw party every Monday that will include, me, my dog, and occasional drop-ins from my wife. It's going to be off the chain.

But seriously, Lee Marshall, you're the man.