Iowa Football and Institutional Racism

Over the weekend, there was big time news for the Iowa football program. Any sports news is great news, right? Unfortunately, that was not the case as James Daniels talked about racial disparity when it comes to the treatment of Iowa football players. It quickly became apparent that this was not an isolated incident but a pattern of poor treatment for black players in the Iowa football program.

 

Even the players who said they had a good experience at Iowa let their voices known that there was plenty of room for improvement. And I’ll admit, when I first heard about it, I tried to justify things in my mind, not that the actions were justified, but that this happens all over college football. But just because something is widespread does not make it right. And Iowa needs to be better.

 

To start, Chris Doyle has to go. He has had an incredible impact on the Iowa program, and I have no doubt that he is one of the best strength and conditioning coaches in the nation and a huge reason for Iowa’s success. But let’s face it, this guy should have been fired after the rhabdo issue where he sent multiple players to the hospital for working them out so hard that their kidneys were bleeding. That’s about as bad as you can mess up as a strength and conditioning coach and if a single one of these allegations are true (which seems likely since there are at least a dozen), it’s time to move on from Doyle. 

 

Kirk Ferentz is an absolute control freak (just about every college coach is), so I don’t really believe his claim of ignorance. I believe Kirk knew about just about all of these things, but to give him the benefit of the doubt, I don’t know if he understood how much it was affecting those players. 

 

I think Kirk is pretty outward on wanting folks to conform, but it’s also pretty obvious that his version of conformity is conforming to traditional white standards. He wants to restrict any behavior outside of his norms, and it’s pretty easy to see how this would make black players uncomfortable and also afraid to speak out about their issues. I hope Kirk Ferentz, and the entire Iowa program, can use this chance to grow as leaders, and it leads to a more positive experience for the black athletes in the Hawkeye program.

Yasiel Puig Is the Best

Yasiel Puig is the best. Now he's not the best baseball player as he's not Mike Trout. He's not even the best baseball player in this series as that's Clayton Kershaw, and no, he's not even the best hitter in the series as that's Jose Altuve. But Yasiel Puig is so much more than that. He is simply the best.

Baseball is a game controlled by racist white guys. They have instilled in everyone that you need to put your head down and show no emotion as baseball is a tradition and meant to be taken seriously. Showing any personality is showing up your opponent, and for that, a pitcher has the right to attempt to murder you by throwing a 100 MPH baseball at your head. This is very dumb.

And since it is dumb, Puig shits on it every opportunity that he gets. This man gives zero fucks, and it is just so damn refreshing. It's weird, but he actually looks like he enjoys playing the game of baseball. In fact, the only thing that he seems to enjoy more is the taste of his bat, but again that may just be his love of baseball translating to every item of baseball. Of course, he doesn't seem to like baseballs as when a pitcher throws one nears him, he tries to smack it as far away as possible. Even in the field, he basically plays hot potato with it, as he catches it, and then throws a rocket back into the infield.

If Puig were a white guy, he'd be quirky; at worst, he'd be aloof. Instead, he has this incredible tale of working his ass off to get good at baseball, then getting out of Cuba to the United States. He literally came from nothing to live the American Dream. That shows way more grit than anything David Eckstein ever did. But Puig is not a white guy, and therefore he is lazy and makes a mockery of the game.

And those points aren't totally wrong. Puig is lazy sometimes, and according to the unwritten rules, he does make a mockery of the game. But shit, doesn't that make him like all of us? I'm lazy sometimes, and I have mocked every job I have ever had. It's human nature. Puig is like us. He's not perfect, but Puig Your Friend, and that is something to cheer for.

A Guy's Thoughts On The Bachelor: Season 19

I am a guy. I have all of the necessary parts to prove it, and not only am I a guy by sex, but also by gender. I identify as a guy. Also, I watch The Bachelor. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy The Bachelor. These facts make me the quintessential source on everything that happened on this season. I have thoughts, oh, I have so many thoughts on The Bachelor. I have been keeping them inside, but these thoughts are bubbling up, and they are about to explode all over this blog.

The Bachelor
A lot of people think Chris is boring and stupid. Let me assure you that if you knew nothing about Chris but what you saw on this show, you could even feel quite confident in calling him boring and stupid. As a connoisseur of The Bachelor, I can assure you that Chris may be the smartest Bachelor in history (this may not be saying much). Chris played the game perfectly. Now, as The Bachelor, he shouldn't have to play a game; all the ladies are there for him. But he wasn't playing a game for love, he was playing a game for public approval, and he obtained an incredibly high approval rating with viewers by just not messing up.

Sure, it's cool to make out with all the ladies, but where he truly excelled was in his order of eliminations. This man never eliminated a woman who did something interesting. Let's take a look back.

Get so wasted you can barely stand the first night?
Stick around, he doesn't want to offend any alcoholics.

You randomly do crazy shit and can't tell the difference between a pomegranate and an onion?
Maybe in another week, you'll learn, so he can't kick you out on the streets without fruit smarts.

You've already been so wasted that you had to be eliminated, but now you want to come back?
Sure, everybody deserves a second chance.

Have a child?
Have a rose and leave that child alone in the apartment for another week. If a cat can survive being left alone for weeks, so can a baby.

You resemble a Kardashian and tell him you're a virgin?
You just bought yourself an extra week.

Your husband died?
That's an amazing story. Have a rose to cheer you up.

You don't shower?
How about you get showered in cheers at a Big and Rich concert.

Oh, another virgin?
I guess you get to make the final two instead of the precious flower that is Kaitlyn.

Literally, any girl who stood out got to stick around for at least another week. Chris was the least offensive Bachelor in history, and that takes incredible self-control. Everybody seems to love the farmer from Iowa, but Iowa people are better than other people, so I can't say I'm surprised.

The Ladies
But we need to talk about the ladies. First off, there is Alissa, Amanda, Amber, Bo, Brittany, Jordan, Juelia, Kara, Kimberly, Mackenzie, Michelle, Nicole, Nikki, Reegan, Samantha, Tandra, Tara, Tracy, and Trina. Although some of these women had some moments, none of them are worth revisiting. Let's talk about the essential ladies from the show.

Although she only lasted a few weeks, there are few Bachelor contestants that made as much of an impact as Ashley S. She was given the task of shooting zombies, but she wanted to shoot the other ladies. That's just smart. Then she showed she was fearless by walking into the fog towards the zombies, as she believed in the power of love. She's an insane person, and I am really happy that Chris Harrison demanded that she participate in the weird Bachelor stepchildren shows to keep her in my life. She is crazy...crazy awesome. Ashley S, you get it, girl.

The battle between Ashley I. and Kelsey was one I could do without. A lot of people thought Kelsey was the worse person in this situation, but it was definitely Ashley I. Ashley I. was not entertaining. She just existed and cried. Anybody can cry, but it takes something special to have Kelsey's story. Her story is amazing, and her lack of self-awareness is even more amazing. Did I have my doubts that she ever had a husband? Yes, yes I did. Did I look it up on the internet to make sure she had one? Yes, yes I did. I had to. There was something so off with her. Something so inhuman that there was no way that everything about her was real. But it was all real. She's a total sociopath. I hope she finds love with Juan Pablo.

Apparently, there was a girl named Megan who lasted until Week 7. She looks vaguely familiar, but I have zero memories of her. Just thought I should bring that up.

Carly kept it real. She knew she was going home, so she used her last moments to bury Britt. I was shocked that she was getting booed at the Women Tell All reunion. She had a good sense of humor and seemed like a pretty cool chick. I think she got a raw deal with how people reacted, and I want you to know, Carly, I got your back.

Speaking of having Carly's back, this brings me to Jillian who didn't last that long, but she was THE WORST person ever during the Women Tell All. She just kept butting in on things. And yes, if Carly said she had a dick, that's a shitty thing to say to a buff chick like Jillian (or really any lady in general), but your weird protective nature of Britt made everyone uncomfortable, and I would have way rather watched you do box squats.

Jade was the only woman to drop a bombshell and not move on. Being a drunk is cool, lack of cleanliness is also cool, but posing naked early on in life is not cool. I have a buddy who was all about Jade, and I get it. She's attractive in that "Could be in Playboy but is made for Penthouse" sort of way, but I would have liked to see more of her wildside, which I was able to when I Googled images of her.

The Important Ladies
I'm not saying the other ladies weren't important, but when you look at this season, these four ladies held the most prominent roles. Let's start with the champ.

Was Whitney the right pick? Yes, I think Chris did a good job. She seems like a very nice person, was all about moving to Iowa, and her last name is Bischoff. That's a triple threat, and you just know that her uncle Eric played a part in pushing Chris towards making the right decision. I'm not saying the threat of an Elimination Chamber was brought up, but I'm also not saying it wasn't. Also, I would be quick with your vows if I were you Chris. Don't make them go on too long, especially not three minutes too long.

Becca was very interesting in that she was clearly gunning for The Bachelorette. She did everything to disqualify herself from being selected in the final episodes. When she got dumped, you could see it in her eyes that she was telling herself to look sad, but was plotting what dates she would plan when she had a season all to herself. Now, obviously, her strategy did not lead to her becoming The Bachelorette(s), but honestly, it was a great strategy. She is an attractive woman who has the whole virgin thing going for her for added intrigue, so on paper, she would have made an excellent candidate to be the next Bachelorette. Unfortunately, she underestimated one area. She is completely uninteresting. What do I know about Becca outside of her being a virgin? She currently lives in San Diego, and the only reason I remember that is I thought it was crazy for anyone who lives in San Diego to move to Iowa. She also knew it was crazy, so good for her. Unfortunately, she will drift from everyone's memory and fade away, but still, I want to give her props for her strategy as it's that kind of forward thinking that will get you ahead in this world.

There may be some extra sting for Becca considering the next season of The Bachelorette(s).

So, yeah, there are two Bachelorettes for next season. Britt and Kaitlyn will be sharing the honor. I know the audience is like 90% female, so ladies, why did you like Britt? I mean, yeah, as a guy, I get it. She's very attractive and seems like she would be a pleaser when it comes to the hibbity dibbity. But these shows are rightfully geared towards women, and the women in the audience seemed to really like Britt. Is it just that she cries a lot? Because I get it, sympathy is nice, but man, she broke a lot of the unwritten rules of The Bachelor, and women are like baseball players when it comes to the sanctity of the unwritten rules. But Britt got a pass and became one half of The Bachelorette.

As for the other half of The Bachelorette, I am very happy that there will be more Kaitlyn in my life. I was Team Kaitlyn from the very first episode, and I stayed true the entire time. She is wonderful. Now, Kaitlyn may not be the most traditionally pretty girl that was on this season, but I'm past the point where I need traditionally pretty, because that shit's boring. Kaitlyn has charisma; she has the "It" factor, and that made me far more attracted to her than any other girl on this season.

From beginning to end, Kaitlyn kept it real. She kept things lighthearted early on, and she put up walls to protect her heart. When she finally let those walls down, she was hurt, and I can never fully forgive Chris for hurting this precious angel. But him hurting her has led her to become a Bachelorette, so I can't be all that mad.

But about that decision. The Bachelor/ette people were really counting on it being even applause for both of those girls, but it was about ten times louder for my girl Kaitlyn. She clearly should have been the single Bachelorette, but this problem will probably take care of itself when every guy on the first episode goes for Kaitlyn, and Britt has to hitch-hike her way home.

Maybe it's her dance moves, maybe it's her explicit raps, and maybe I just have a weird thing for Canadians, but I'm #TeamKaitlyn all the way. 

The Hottest and Coldest Takes on LeBron James

Hot takes are all the rage these days, and it would be irresponsible for me to not teach all of you the ins and outs of the take world. I will do this by taking something that everyone has a take on, LeBron James's legacy. Some hot takes have him as the greatest thing since the steam engine; others say he's overrated. What I am looking to do is take the hottest of takes and eventually work it down to the coolest of takes. Let's take a trip down the Take Turnpike and see where we exit.

Take: LeBron James is the greatest basketball player ever and could take any four guys and beat the Dream Team. 

This is a very hot take, but it is so extreme that people know to keep their distance from this take. It's the sun. We know it's so hot that we're not even going to touch it. People will likely insult you while staying away from your take if you make it this hot.

Take: LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan.

This take actually may be even hotter as invoking Jordan's name inevitably brings out a lot of emotion in people. I will admit that my fingers were burning a little bit as they moved across my keyboard. This take is a hot stove, and the people around you are children. They know the stove is hot, but they have to touch it to find out exactly how hot it is. This is a take that will immediately spark debate, and the great thing is this debate will never be settled, because it can never be settled. Even though this is not the hottest, it is the worst take in that it will make both people who get involved in the debate worse people by the end with neither budging an inch on their side of the take.

Take: LeBron James is a great basketball player. 

Now we're getting into some tamer takes. LeBron James seems like a great basketball player at first glance. Still, this take has some spice to it, as people love to complain that the league has gone soft, and LeBron would have never made it in the 80s (always the 80s, despite just about everything in the 80s being terrible). Those guys played the game the right way, and they weren't buddies with their opponents. This take is a jalapeno. It's got enough spice to it that you wouldn't want to rub it in your eye.

Take: LeBron James is a good basketball player.

Okay, this is a fair take. It would take a real asshole to argue that LeBron James is not a good basketball player. Still, it's possible, especially with the 80s toughness argument. Instead of using that to say he wouldn't be great, it's just as easy to say he never would have made it in the NBA facing real tough guys like Bill Laimbeer and Kevin McHale (yes, all arguments against LeBron must also have a tinge of racism in them; I don't make the rules, but I must follow them). Still, this is not a hot take compared to the (racist) alternative. It's basically the equivalent of putting some fresh ground pepper on your meal.

Take: LeBron James is a basketball player.

Now that's a cool take. It is impossible to argue with this statement. Well, almost impossible. I mean, at the moment you are reading this, he might be taking a shower or reading to his kids. I can take a shower and read, but it doesn't make me a basketball player. There is no way to predict the future and say that he will ever play again. He might just be a professional clean guy or book reader. On top of that, language is fluid, so definitions are constantly in flux. What we today consider a basketball player may turn into a completely different meaning down the line. Still, this is about as spicy as a glass of orange juice.

Take: LeBron James was considered a basketball player during his career in what was known as the National Basketball Association, although the meanings of basketball and the NBA as a whole is in constant flux and is no way set in stone for eternity, or even the next hour. 

Finally, we have reached the coolest take. There is no argument here, just a cold glass of milk that can cool down even the hottest of takes on LeBron James.

Both hot and cool takes are a tricky world, so please leave them to the professionals like PFT Commenter and...yeah, probably just PFT Commenter.

Riley Cooper And Learning From Mistakes

What Riley Cooper did was incredibly stupid and insensitive. It was a horrible thing to say, and there is really no way around it. But as long as he learns from this, it is not an unforgivable offense.

Riley Cooper said something stupid while intoxicated. Inebriation isn't an excuse, but I have been really drunk many times (looking back, a stupid amount of times), and I have done some incredibly stupid shit when intoxicated. Things I am absolutely ashamed of. Things that make me ill just thinking about them. I have woke up the next morning, remembered what I did (or had a friend tell me what I did) and was shocked at what a terrible person I acted like. I have been incredibly stupid when drunk, but luckily, I have learned from my mistakes. I have made every type of mistake, but I don't make the same one twice, so at least I have that going for me. I look back and thank god that camera phones were not around during my stupid days. If they were, I would have to relive these moments with people around and everyone would know what a piece of shit I was. I was a piece of shit, but luckily I eventually grew up and turned into a human being. 

Riley Cooper is 25 years old. I was still growing up when I was 25 years old. Riley Cooper also has to deal with the fact that he is an incredibly gifted football player. Because of that, people have bent over backwards to appease him, probably starting at a very young age. It is very tough to grow up when nobody forces you to grow up. As long as he excelled in football, he could basically do and say just about anything with no repercussions. 

That is what got us to this point. Now obviously being a football player does not totally excuse his actions, because there are many people who have grown up with similar experiences and have never said what Cooper said, but that doesn't mean this is an unforgivable offense. 

He said something stupid. He said it. He didn't act on his words, because it was nothing but talk. It was stupid talk, but it was just talk. Unfortunately, we live in a society where Cooper's black teammates have heard that word used in a derogatory way hundreds, if not thousands of times. That doesn't make it okay, but as bad as it is, we have come an incredibly long way in 20 years. 

This is where censorship is a good thing. It's not government mandated; it's people mandated. People get shamed for saying stupid shit, and less stupid shit gets said. Riley Cooper said something stupid, and he is currently paying the price. The chances of Riley Cooper saying something like that again are likely zero percent. This is a man who has to feel like shit every waking hour of his days currently. 

Young people, especially when drunk, say and do stupid shit. The media assault alone is probably enough punishment for him to never say the same thing again. But I'm guessing that facing his teammates made him feel even more like a piece of shit. What he did was terrible, but as long as he recognizes that, I do hope he gets a second chance. And if he doesn't learn from his mistake, then he's a racist asshole who probably doesn't a team's or the public's forgiveness. Here's to hoping that Riley Cooper is the former, as opposed to the latter.

The Best Sad Political Comments on Facebook Last Night

Going on Facebook after Obama was declared winner of the presidency could have ended in one of two ways depending on my state of mind. It could have depressed the hell out of me to see the shit that people were saying, or it could have ended in hilarity, because, holy shit, people are painfully stupid. I decided to make it awesome and break down the best things I saw on Facebook last night.

Sad day

Stupid, but at least reasonable. It is simple and to the point. I could at least imagine myself having these feelings if a candidate I did not believe in won the election.

Time for more handouts and obscene spending!

Was the spending obscene? You could make that case, but the spending has been obscene for 12 years now. Selective memory is neat.

Moving backwards another four years!!!

The three exclamation points add intelligence to the claim.

if obama wins I'm moving to Brazil once my my money comes in..... #fuckobama#

Because Brazil is a safe haven where everything is fantastic. DID YOU NOT SEE FAST FIVE? THERE IS DANGER EVERYWHERE!

But my favorite comments, BY FAR, were the following:

May God have mercy on this nation.

Praying for America and our future. This is scary.

We can only pray that The Lord has mercy on the USA...pray that HE gives us the strength that this country needs.

Oh, God, it is just so painfully stupid and ignorant and wonderful all at once. When you read it as stupid and ignorant, it makes a person's palm go directly to their forehead, but take a second, and read it for all its wonderful glory. I am totally fine with people believing in God. 

The first one is stupid but simple, so it doesn't incite much anger in me.

The second one is way dumber. This is scary? What the fuck is scary about this? A president got elected. It wasn't the person who you wanted to win. Grow the fuck up.

And finally, the third comment. Oh, you beautiful, wonderful, brilliant piece of art. Because this is not a sentence; this is art. Like if I was trying to write from the most ignorant person in the world's point of view, I could never come up with something this amazing. Thank you, retarded person who wrote this. Thank you so much.

Now here's my issue...

I have no problem if you see God as an all-powerful being who can control anything he damn well pleases. I have no issue if you see God as all-powerful, but as someone who refuses to step in as it would invade man's freedom of choice. But you can't have it both ways. Now, these Religious Fuckwads are in a little thing called the circle of logic. And when Religious Fuckwads are surrounded by logic, it leads to disastrous results. 

If God was all powerful, and you think that Obama will ruin the country, I am sure God could have stopped that. Why not have a hurricane that takes out the president instead of electricity in New York? Huh, God? Why did you not do that? SHOW US YOUR MERCY YOU SON OF A BITCH. 

If God refuses to step in, then who gives a fuck? He clearly hasn't done anything on this planet before, and we're doing just fine. Most of the people who are complaining about the unemployment rate not only have a job, half of them probably don't even know a person who is actually unemployed. And if they don't think God has the power to step in, then, really, what's the point? If I was going to pick a God, I certainly wouldn't pick the weak ass bitch God that can't even show his awesome power. 

Make up your minds, Religious Fuckwads (I would like to trademark this term). Either your God is all powerful and he supports Obama, or he is a weak ass bitch who can't even step in to make anything happen. You can't have it both ways.

Also, I am guessing that the people who posted these comments do not realize that Mitt Romney is Mormon, and therefore has the most hilarious beliefs ever. Sure, I could show a South Park clip, but instead I will show one of the most underrated videos on the internet: 

You're Welcome.

It's Not Easy Being Beautiful

There has been a recent uprising over the power of words and how offensive they can be. In the past, it has been about races, whether it be Blacks, Hispanics, or Asians, every racial group has some derogatory term associated with their people. Recently, those with a non-conventional sexual orientation have been abused and bullied. All of these examples are terrible and truly represent the worst society has to offer.

Unfortunately, I have noticed a disturbing trend developing. There's a new group of people suffering the same level of discrimination and vitriol from the general public. It's become so ingrained in our everyday lexicon that most people probably don't even think twice when saying it. It's not right, and it needs to stop. How do I know so much about these discriminated people? Because I am one. That's right, I'm talking about the unjust cruelty towards attractive people.

Let me just give you a hypothetical situation of an attractive male walking by a group of people:

Person 1: Wow, check out the ass on that one.
Person 2: That guy is so sexy.
Person 1: He may be the hottest guy I've ever seen.

These people say these things, enjoy the view, and go about their day. Everything's fine, right? Wrong. I know the pain of that person walking by, because I AM that person walking by. None of those people ever took their eyes off my body to look up and see that I was reading an interesting book. It just made me feel...cheap.

Beautiful people are constantly told to shut up and look pretty, so I will be the voice of the voiceless. I didn't sign up for this; it just happened that I came out incredibly attractive. But just summing me up as the hot guy is extremely disrespectful. It doesn't take into account that I am incredible writer with a beautiful voice that can West Coast Dance with the best in the world.

Some claim that it is okay because of the benefits of being attractive. But there's benefits to everything. Asians are good at math, homosexuals dress really well, and black people have huge...athleticism. Yes, I do have women complimenting me on how amazing I am...constantly, but it doesn't mean I should take verbal abuse everywhere I go and be reduced to a simple description of "Hot."

And yes, many of you may think that me referring to myself as Hott Joe is hypocritical on my part. But it's the opposite. Much like rappers using the n-word, I call myself Hott to take over possession of the word. I refuse to be a slave to my beauty.

I don't like to think about it, but at my funeral, I get the sad feeling that people aren't going to talk about how hilarious I am, my vast intellect, or even how great I am in bed. It'll just be the superficial stuff like how stunning my jawline is, how great I look with my shirt off, and how I look even better with my pants off. It's not fair...and it's not right.

But this is my cross to bear. Luckily with my chiseled muscles in all the right places, it will be one that I carry with nothing but grace, dignity, and stunning good looks.

I'm not just another pretty face, so please, think before you speak.

-Joe

P.S. If anybody would like to cheer me on, I will be running The Bix 7 this Saturday. I will have my shirt off, but please cheer me for my great running style, not my great looks.