The Cleveland Cavaliers Won't Win Game Six

In a must-win situation, the Cavaliers staved off elimination in game five at Golden State, and people are almost letting themselves believe in the power of LeBron and Kyrie. Here's the thing though, they don't stand a chance in this series, and they won't even win in Cleveland tonight.

I've been meaning to talk about how horrifically overrated the Cavaliers were this postseason, and I really missed my ideal window when they were dominating crappy East teams, but luckily, they gave me one more shot to address it before this season is over. People are talking about how the Cavaliers may have figured out something in Draymond Green's absence, and with Kyrie and LeBron on the same page, they can handle everything the Warriors throw at them, but people are missing the point. Although LeBron and Kyrie were great, it may have been the worst performance the Cavaliers have had. They did absolutely nothing to create shots on offense. It was that same old iso-ball that is not a long-term solution to an offense, and the Cavaliers are going to find that out sooner rather than later.

Now before I get into the negatives, let's quickly talk about their one great positive: LeBron James. LeBron James is incredible. He's the most talented basketball player to ever play in the NBA. Anytime you mention LeBron's greatness, it must always be in comparison to Michael Jordan, but for actual play on the court, LeBron is more comparable to Scottie Pippen. But imagine if Pippen had the damn athleticism of Allen Iverson while being built like Karl Malone. Yeah, it takes three Hall of Famers to describe how gifted LeBron is, so even though Steph Curry is the MVP, LeBron is still the best basketball player on the planet. That alone makes the Cavaliers dangerous.

But in my mind, the Cavaliers are LeBron, and LeBron alone.

Now, this is the part of the program where I openly admit that I am a Kyrie Irving hater. I think he's one of the most overrated players in the NBA. He's still very skilled at certain aspects. He can score. Wait, did I say aspects? I guess I just meant aspect, because he doesn't do a whole lot else very well. He's not a great passer, and I think the whole world knows how porous his defense is at this point. And even though he had a hell of a game 5, he's likely not going to be that hot again in his next 20 games.

And now that we are done with the big two, let's look at the rest of the Cavaliers roster, which is basically the land of misfit toys. They are a bunch of square pegs being pushed into round holes, and that is not a recipe for success.

Matthew Dellavedova - Last year, he got hot at the right time and people bought into a player that isn't very good. His only skill that hasn't deteriorated is that he can foul, so congratulations on that.

Channing Frye - This is where things get interesting, because Channing Frye is a talented player. He can stretch the floor as a big but do poor work on defense. Considering how Kevin Love has played, Frye would probably do better in those minutes.

Richard Jefferson - Jefferson gets a lot of love for being a key cog for the Cavaliers, and that is a major issue, because he would be getting James McAdoo minutes if he were on the Warriors.

Kevin Love - Holy shit has this guy fallen off a cliff. I really hope he is injured, because his play has just dropped off a cliff. But let's not forget how valuable he was early on in the playoffs. Kevin Love is a great NBA player, but this is the worst fit he could possibly be in. If he is your number one or two option on offense, he can make up for his lack of ability on defense. It also helps that his defense goes from "Turn the children's heads away" to "poor" when he is able to contribute on offense. But like I said earlier, the Cavs would probably be better off with Frye, because Love has been downright awful in this series.

Timofey Mozgov - He's really big and can play interior defense. He has no actual basketball skills. Unfortunately, that makes him unplayable for the most part in today's NBA.

Iman Shumpert - Garbage on offense, only above average on defense. Good luck with that.

J.R. Smith - Usually bad, but sometimes he inexplicably catches fire and makes everything. I would say that a big game from Smith is their only hope in game six. Yes, Cleveland, your hopes are contingent on J.R. Smith. That does not sound promising.

Tristan Thompson - Note to self: Make friends with LeBron James.

And that's basically their team. They got one win when everything went right. They got another when Draymond Green was out and their two best players each probably had one of the ten best games of their careers (maybe Kyrie's best), and I just do not see that as a sustainable method for winning. I don't care that the Cavs are at home. This series is over. 

Who Will Win the 2015 NBA Finals?

The Cavs are set to take on the Warriors in the NBA Finals, and people are wondering whether LeBron can do it again and lead a team to a championship. He has been incredible in these playoffs, and the Cavs dispatched every Eastern Conference foe that got in their way with little resistance. The Warriors did basically the same thing to the Western Conference, so it appears that there are two titans ready to square off for the title. There's just one problem with that. The Eastern Conference was terrible this year, and the Warriors, if healthy, are going to steamroll the Cavaliers.

Now, this isn't a knock on LeBron James. He's still the best basketball player in the world (and I guess I must also say that this statement is not a knock on Steph Curry), as there is no one better at taking over games and physically dominating his opponents. As great as LeBron is, this team still wasn't good enough to have the best record in the East. They beat the Celtics easily, and were able to polish off the Bulls after having troubles early on. They looked impressive against the Hawks, but the Hawks didn't had injuries stacked up and clearly ran out of gas towards the end of the regular season.

Still, it has not just been LeBron who has done well in these playoffs. The supporting cast has played surprisingly well. As a Bulls fan, it seriously angered me how many rebounds Tristan Thompson had and how JR Smith seemed to never miss a shot. And don't get me started on Dellavedova. But just looking at these rosters, does anybody see a single advantage for the Cavs outside of LeBron? These Cavs are not the Miami Heat of the past four seasons. Kyrie is not on Dwyane Wade's level, and Cleveland has nobody even worth comparing to Chris Bosh.

Yet everyone seems to think this will be a competitive series. LeBron may be the best player in the NBA, but it seems safe to say that the current MVP, Steph Curry, is at least in the top-5. But LeBron is flanked by Kyrie and a bunch of solid but not impactful role players. I mean, if you were ranking the players in this series, how many Warriors would you list before you got to the third Cavs player? I think most people would list Klay, Draymond, Barnes, Bogut, and Iguodola. Maybe even Shaun Livingston. That is just too big of a talent gap for LeBron and even a 100% healthy Kyrie to make up for.

Let's look at it this way. Do you really think the Cavaliers would have gotten past the Memphis Grizzlies? They would have pounded the Cavaliers into submission. They nearly did it to the Warriors, but the Warriors had more talent, so they were able to eventually figure things out.

And that's the way I see this series going. Even if the Cavaliers start out looking good, the Warriors have way more talent, and they have a coaching staff who eventually figures things out. The Klay Thompson concussion is a big concern, but if he is healthy, there is no way the Warriors lose this series.

Prediction: Warriors by Gentleman's Sweep

Which Chicago Bulls Big Man Needs To Go?

Yet again, the Chicago Bulls have raised my hopes, only to fall well short of getting an NBA Championship. Even without Kevin Love, the Cleveland Cavaliers sent the Bulls home (it was in Chicago, so short drive at least) well short of the ultimate goal. I'm a pretty reasonable sports fan, but there is something about the Bulls that always raises my hopes well beyond their accomplishments. I look at this roster, and it sure looks like it could be potent enough to succeed, but clearly something wasn't right with this team, and things need to change.

It looks like Tom Thibodeau is likely out the door, which I have mixed feelings about. He's an excellent defensive coach, but with the weapons the Bulls have on offense, it sure seems like they could be a more potent team on that side of the ball. The trap he fell into was sticking with certain big guys while ignoring their most efficient lineups. But with Gasol, Noah, Gibson, and Mirotic, the Bulls simply don't have enough minutes to fully take advantage of those players' skill-sets. So it's time to look at the roster and figure out which guy has to go to best give the Bulls a chance to take a step forward.

4. Nikola Mirotic
Yeah, this guy ain't going anywhere. He's by far the youngest guy on the front line, and he's also closest to the ideal of what a power forward should look like now that most teams have realized threes are worth more than twos. His defense is atrocious, but he's athletic enough to at least become adequate there. He's pretty cheap for the next couple years, so I really can't see any reason to get rid of this guy.

3. Taj Gibson
This is the most commonly talked about guy who needs to be traded away, but I think his versatility is needed for the Bulls. He's the perfect third big man, as he can defend centers, while also being able to step out on stretch-fours and even providing reasonable defense on wings since he does a pretty solid job when matched up against LeBron. It's a decent contract for what he provides, and it's about to look pretty good when the cap goes up. I know this is everyone's knee-jerk answer to who should be traded, but I do not see him being the best option.

2. Joakim Noah
Is Joakim Noah done? That is the question Bulls fans have to be asking themselves. Now, obviously he's not going to retire, but is he only going downhill from his performance this past year, or can he bounce back to his 2013-2014 season form when he was Defensive Player of the Year and an incredibly valuable playmaker. It seems like knee injuries are things that often take a year to fully recover from, so I'm betting on the latter. If he can get close to that form, pairing him up with Mirotic in the starting lineup makes the Bulls an incredibly dangerous team.

1. Pau Gasol
And that leaves Pau. I really like Pau and find it hard to argue that any big man was nearly as valuable as he was this season. But I'm not sure how well he would fit in if the Bulls are going to take the next steps to a championship. He is not a good pairing with Mirotic, and I think Mirotic needs to be the starter. He had an incredible season, his contract is a great deal, so he should be able to fetch something pretty dang good in return. It hurts, because Pau seems like one of the best dudes in the NBA (and he's really good at basketball), but it makes sense for the Bulls to get rid of one of their big guys (and no, Cameron Bairstow does not count), so that makes Gasol is the odd man Paut.

The Hottest and Coldest Takes on LeBron James

Hot takes are all the rage these days, and it would be irresponsible for me to not teach all of you the ins and outs of the take world. I will do this by taking something that everyone has a take on, LeBron James's legacy. Some hot takes have him as the greatest thing since the steam engine; others say he's overrated. What I am looking to do is take the hottest of takes and eventually work it down to the coolest of takes. Let's take a trip down the Take Turnpike and see where we exit.

Take: LeBron James is the greatest basketball player ever and could take any four guys and beat the Dream Team. 

This is a very hot take, but it is so extreme that people know to keep their distance from this take. It's the sun. We know it's so hot that we're not even going to touch it. People will likely insult you while staying away from your take if you make it this hot.

Take: LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan.

This take actually may be even hotter as invoking Jordan's name inevitably brings out a lot of emotion in people. I will admit that my fingers were burning a little bit as they moved across my keyboard. This take is a hot stove, and the people around you are children. They know the stove is hot, but they have to touch it to find out exactly how hot it is. This is a take that will immediately spark debate, and the great thing is this debate will never be settled, because it can never be settled. Even though this is not the hottest, it is the worst take in that it will make both people who get involved in the debate worse people by the end with neither budging an inch on their side of the take.

Take: LeBron James is a great basketball player. 

Now we're getting into some tamer takes. LeBron James seems like a great basketball player at first glance. Still, this take has some spice to it, as people love to complain that the league has gone soft, and LeBron would have never made it in the 80s (always the 80s, despite just about everything in the 80s being terrible). Those guys played the game the right way, and they weren't buddies with their opponents. This take is a jalapeno. It's got enough spice to it that you wouldn't want to rub it in your eye.

Take: LeBron James is a good basketball player.

Okay, this is a fair take. It would take a real asshole to argue that LeBron James is not a good basketball player. Still, it's possible, especially with the 80s toughness argument. Instead of using that to say he wouldn't be great, it's just as easy to say he never would have made it in the NBA facing real tough guys like Bill Laimbeer and Kevin McHale (yes, all arguments against LeBron must also have a tinge of racism in them; I don't make the rules, but I must follow them). Still, this is not a hot take compared to the (racist) alternative. It's basically the equivalent of putting some fresh ground pepper on your meal.

Take: LeBron James is a basketball player.

Now that's a cool take. It is impossible to argue with this statement. Well, almost impossible. I mean, at the moment you are reading this, he might be taking a shower or reading to his kids. I can take a shower and read, but it doesn't make me a basketball player. There is no way to predict the future and say that he will ever play again. He might just be a professional clean guy or book reader. On top of that, language is fluid, so definitions are constantly in flux. What we today consider a basketball player may turn into a completely different meaning down the line. Still, this is about as spicy as a glass of orange juice.

Take: LeBron James was considered a basketball player during his career in what was known as the National Basketball Association, although the meanings of basketball and the NBA as a whole is in constant flux and is no way set in stone for eternity, or even the next hour. 

Finally, we have reached the coolest take. There is no argument here, just a cold glass of milk that can cool down even the hottest of takes on LeBron James.

Both hot and cool takes are a tricky world, so please leave them to the professionals like PFT Commenter and...yeah, probably just PFT Commenter.

The Essential Breakdown of My 2014-2015 Fantasy Basketball Draft

After wrapping up the longest fantasy baseball story ever told, I figured that if there was one thing that my loyal readers needed, it was more fantasy talk. But fear not,  my friends, as I have at least moved onto basketball. If you have not had your draft yet, this actually might be helpful, as I will highlight my best and worst picks while highlighting my own thinking on my picks in the round. We can trade draft picks in the league I am in, so just a heads up, I have 4 of the first 14 picks in the draft, and I am going to throw the world's biggest hissy fit if my team doesn't win the championship.

ROUND 1
1 LeBron James, Cle SF      The Outsiders
2 Anthony Davis, Nor PF   Flint Tropics
3 Kevin Durant*, OKC SF   The Outsiders
4 Stephen Curry, GS PG     Butt Stuff
5 Chris Paul, LAC PG         The Kid From Thunder Struck
6 James Harden, Hou SG     For the love of the game
7 Russell Westbrook, OKC PG Wennington Baseline
8 Blake Griffin, LAC PF     Team Agan
9 John Wall, Wsh PG           Team Roy
10 Carmelo Anthony, NY SF Team Ehrecke
11 DeMarcus Cousins, Sac C   The Outsiders
12 Serge Ibaka, OKC PF       Team schneider

Best Pick: Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo is about as much of a guarantee that you can get in the top ten. He has always been healthy, and he always finishes in the top 10. Worst case scenario is that you get the tenth most valuable guy at the ten spot. Carmelo may not be a winning player in real life, but he is one in fantasy. I was very disappointed that he got taken one spot ahead of me.

Worst Pick: Blake Griffin
It's tough to fault any of the picks in the first round, but you are taking a gamble that Blake is going to take a step forward this season. He definitely could, as everybody has been raving about his progress in the offseason, but even if he takes a step forward, he'd still only max out around the eighth most valuable player in the league.

My Pick(s): LeBron James, Kevin Durant, DeMarcus Cousins
I took LeBron #1, even though I doubt he is the number one rated guy at the end of the season. He is the safest guy to take that will guarantee be a top five guy, and I traded for so many top basketball picks that a safe pick here made total sense, especially with my second pick. Most people may think this is too high for Kevin Durant, but I am in a special situation where I can manage having him on my IR spot while he recovers and still be strong early on in the season. When healthy, he is the best fantasy player to have, so playoff time, I'll be ready to destroy people. Finally, I took DeMarcus Cousins. I would have liked Melo to fall to me, but I am totally good with Cousins, especially since he is just fun to cheer for. I definitely thought about Ibaka here, but in a toss-up situation, I'm going to take the guy I like more.

ROUND 2
13 Damian Lillard, Por PG   Team schneider
14 Kevin Love, Cle PF          The Outsiders
15 LaMarcus Aldridge, Por PF Team Ehrecke
16 Kawhi Leonard, SA SF    Team Roy
17 Ty Lawson, Den PG         Team Agan
18 Kyrie Irving, Cle PG        Wennington Baseline
19 Al Jefferson, Cha C          For the love of the game
20 Derrick Rose, Chi PG      It's Not The Same Macklemore
21 Dirk Nowitzki, Dal PF     Butt Stuff
22 Chris Bosh, Mia C           Flint Tropics
23 Kyle Lowry*, Tor PG      Team Marcysquirts
24 Goran Dragic, Pho PG     Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Derrick Rose
This is because I am a Bulls homer, but did you see him against the Cavs the other night? It was magical. D-Rose is BACK. If just one of my predictions for this year comes true, I want it to be me cruising to a fantasy championship, but if two of my predictions can come true, this is the one I am hoping for the second most.

Worst Pick: Kyrie Irving
The other guy on the Cavs is someone I'm not as sold on. He is going to have to work without the ball in his hands, and I don't see him adapting nearly as well as Love. Also, he does have injury issues, and I would not trust his health enough to invest a mid-2nd round pick.

My Pick: Kevin Love
Kevin Love is consistently a top-5 fantasy player when healthy. I understand he is no longer the number one option, but he is still going to be a huge focal point for that offense. With LeBron and Kyrie alongside him, he will get more open three opportunities, but can also hang out near the rim and get more chances for offensive rebounds and putbacks. I actually had him ahead of Cousins on my list but figured I could wait on Love as worst case, I would probably end up with Ibaka. Love fell, and I am very happy to have him.

ROUND 3
25 DeMar DeRozan, Tor SG Flint Tropics
26 Andre Drummond, Det C Team Marcysquirts
27 Dwight Howard, Hou C    The Kid From Thunder Struck
28 Nicolas Batum, Por SF     Butt Stuff
29 Monta Ellis, Dal SG         Team Ehrecke
30 Marc Gasol, Mem C         For the love of the game
31 Kenneth Faried, Den PF    Wennington Baseline
32 Joakim Noah, Chi C         Team Agan
33 Mike Conley, Mem PG    Team Roy
34 Kemba Walker, Cha PG   Team Ehrecke
35 Klay Thompson, GS SG   The Outsiders
36 Victor Oladipo, Orl SG    Team schneider

Best Pick: Joakim Noah
This was a tough one, but Noah provides so much in every category but three pointers that he may end up being the best big guy in this round despite being the last one taken. The other guy I would make an argument for is Mike Conley who is usually pretty healthy and will provide strong point guard numbers. He probably won't be a whole lot better than 33rd overall, but it is unlikely that he is much worse.

Worst Pick: Victor Oladipo
He put up solid numbers last year, but he had the ball in his hand a lot more than he will have it in his hands this year with the addition of Elfird Payton. He's a fine player, but I feel like his best case scenario is being around mid-30s at the end of the year, and if his shooting doesn't improve, he could be about twenty spots worse.

My Pick: Klay Thompson
Klay Thompson provides on the scoring stats, because the dude can shoot. But his defense has improved over the last few years, and I think he might improve some of his other counting stats as he has shown a more well-rounded game each year he has been in the league. He was a safe choice, who has some upside, but probably won't be too much more valuable than 35, and he does add value as shooting guard is a very shallow position in the NBA.

ROUND 4
37 Paul Millsap, Atl PF         Team schneider
38 Al Horford, Atl C              The Outsiders
39 Eric Bledsoe, Pho PG       Team Ehrecke
40 Rudy Gay, Sac SF            Team Roy
41 Kobe Bryant, LAL SG     Team Agan
42 Dwyane Wade, Mia SG    Wennington Baseline
43 DeAndre Jordan, LAC C   For the love of the game
44 Jabari Parker, Mil SF       It's Not The Same Macklemore
45 Nikola Vucevic, Orl C     Butt Stuff
46 Thaddeus Young, Min SF The Kid From Thunder Struck
47 Jrue Holiday, Nor PG       The Outsiders
48 Gordon Hayward, Uta SG Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Eric Bledsoe
I love Eric Bledsoe, as he could easily be a top 15 fantasy player if he stays healthy throughout the season. The issue with him is health and likely reduced playing time with the addition of Isaiah Thomas. Still, if he does stay healthy, he will outperform his draft slot and be a very valuable guy who can play both guard positions.

Worst Pick: Jabari Parker
With any rookie, there are going to be growing pains. Jabari is very talented, but he is not a generational talent, as he wasn't even the first pick in the draft. I do think he will likely be the best rookie, but considering some of the other talent available on the wings at this point in the draft, it was too much of a reach for my liking.

My Pick(s): Al Horford and Jrue Holiday
Al Horford is incredible at basketball. His pectorals are incredible at tearing in half. Did I take the wrong injury risk by going with him over Bledsoe? Possibly, but I am going to trust in Horford's talent and assume that pectorals will not constantly rip in two. When he's on the floor, he's one of the best big men in the league, and I have no doubt that he will outproduce his teammate, Paul Millsap, who was taken one pick before him. Also, I love Jrue Holiday. He is a really good point guard who has the talent around him to make plays. Health was a concern last year, but if he would have been healthy last year, he would probably be taken in the early third round. Without him, the Pelicans struggled, but they could make a huge leap with him running the show for the whole season.

ROUND 5
49 Ricky Rubio, Min PG              The Kid From Thunder Struck
50 Chandler Parsons, Dal SF        The Outsiders
51 Deron Williams, Bkn PG         The Kid From Thunder Struck
52 Derrick Favors, Uta PF            Butt Stuff
53 Brandon Jennings, Det PG          It's Not The Same Macklemore
54 Brook Lopez*, Bkn C              For the love of the game
55 Nerlens Noel, Phi C                 Wennington Baseline
56 Wesley Matthews, Por SG             Team Agan
57 Jeff Teague, Atl PG                  Team Roy
58 Josh Smith, Det SF                   Team Ehrecke
59 Pau Gasol, Chi PF                    Team Marcysquirts
60 Michael Carter-Williams*, Phi PG Team schneider

Best Pick: Wesley Matthews
Matthews has quietly turned into one of the best shooting guards in the league as the guy can flat out shoot. If you told me his stats at the end of the year were exactly the same as Klay Thompson's, I wouldn't be surprised (although as a Klay Thompson owner, I'd be slightly disappointed). He's just a really solid player. He won't be great, but he'll probably outperform his draft spot by about ten positions. A similar guy is Jeff Teague who was doing some great things when Horford was still healthy at the beginning of last year. In a completely different vein, Josh Smith has enough upside that his risk is worth it at this point.

Worst Pick: Michael Carter-Williams
He is coming off a serious injury so he will likely not be playing at the beginning of the season, and he is someone who was great at the beginning, but then really struggled while having a few bounceback moments at the end. His big question was his shooting, and I don't know if he really answered whether he can shoot. Making it worse is that Rajon Rondo was sitting there, who is better than MCW in just about every conceivable way. I hate Rondo, but I'd draft Satan for a fantasy championship.

My Pick: Chandler Parsons
The worst case scenario for Parsons is that he matches his Houston numbers, but I do think he has a good chance to improve on what he has done in the past. Having Dirk stretching the floor gives him an opportunity to penetrate where he is very good at finishing. Also, there are likely going to be some open three opportunities with Dirk on the outside and Monta driving to the hole. I was actually hoping for Gordon Hayward to fall a couple spots to me, but I was totally happy to still get Parsons.

ROUND 6
61 Tim Duncan, SA PF         Team schneider
62 Andrew Wiggins, Min SG Team Marcysquirts
63 David Lee, GS PF            Team Ehrecke
64 Rajon Rondo*, Bos PG    Team Roy
65 Terrence Jones, Hou PF    Team Agan
66 Luol Deng, Mia SF           Wennington Baseline
67 Tony Parker, SA PG        For the love of the game
68 Zach Randolph, Mem PF It's Not The Same Macklemore
69 Joe Johnson, Bkn SG        Butt Stuff
70 Bradley Beal*, Wsh SG   The Outsiders
71 Lance Stephenson, Cha SG Flint Tropics
72 Jonas Valanciunas, Tor C Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Rajon Rondo
Our league has a lot of Bulls fans, so that means we are required to hate Rondo, and that showed in our draft, as he was only drafted as high as he was because the guy who picked him didn't show up and auto-drafted his team. Still, Rondo is good in fantasy basketball situations, so it was probably the best pick of the round. But as a Bulls fan, Rondo is the worst.

Worst Pick: Andrew Wiggins
I think Wiggins will be solid this year, but the guy is raw. He can definitely have some 30 point performances, but consistently, I don't see him getting it done to the level of some of the other guys drafted in this round.

My Pick: Bradley Beal
This is me taking advantage of having many early picks and having the luxury to stock a talented player on my bench for first month or so. Beal is awesome, and I would have taken him two to three rounds earlier if he had been healthy. I could see him making a big step forward this year with his name being just behind James Harden's for best shooting guard in the league.

ROUND 7
73 Giannis Antetokounmpo, Mil SF Flint Tropics
74 Tyreke Evans, Nor SF              Team Marcysquirts
75 Marcin Gortat, Wsh C              It's Not The Same Macklemore
76 Kyle Korver, Atl SG                 Butt Stuff
77 George Hill, Ind PG                 It's Not The Same Macklemore
78 Trevor Ariza, Hou SF              For the love of the game
79 Greg Monroe, Det PF               Wennington Baseline
80 Brandon Knight, Mil PG          Team Agan
81 Markieff Morris, Pho PF          Team Roy
82 Ryan Anderson, Nor PF           Team Ehrecke
83 Elfrid Payton, Orl PG               Team Marcysquirts
84 Jeremy Lin, LAL PG                Team schneider

Best Pick: George Hill
Somebody has to put up points for the Pacers; why can't it be George Hill? The other options are not all that appealing. Hill will have the ball in his hands a lot more, and that alone should mean that he sees an uptick in his production.

Worst Pick: Giannis Antetokounmpo
Everybody loves Giannis, but he has a long ways to go before he is a truly valuable fantasy option. He will show brilliant flashes throughout the year, but he is still raw. I think he takes a step forward, but taking him this early requires him taking a leap forward, and he is at least a year away from that.

My Pick: No Pick
This was a good round to not have a pick, as the talent is starting to get pretty uninspired.

ROUND 8
85 Tobias Harris, Orl PF       Team schneider
86 Reggie Jackson*, OKC PG Flint Tropics
87 Arron Afflalo, Den SG     Team Ehrecke
88 David West, Ind PF          Team Roy
89 Nikola Pekovic, Min C    Team Agan
90 Jose Calderon, NY PG     Wennington Baseline
91 Robin Lopez, Por C                 For the love of the game
92 J.J. Redick, LAC SG        It's Not The Same Macklemore
93 Jeff Green, Bos SF           Butt Stuff
94 Danilo Gallinari, Den SF The Kid From Thunder Struck
95 Darren Collison, Sac PG   Team Marcysquirts
96 Larry Sanders, Mil C        Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Larry Sanders
I feel like Sanders will bounce back from the year when everything went wrong. Him putting up 10-10 for points and rebounds while adding a couple blocks a game seems like a likely scenario.

Worst Pick: Tobias Harris
This was a really tough one, because none of these picks were really bad. They were mostly middle-of-the-road picks who are all kind of varying degrees of fine. The reason I picked Harris is because the Magic drafted Aaron Gordon who is also a fringy forward who can play either spot, and they are going to give him minutes to see what he can do. Oh yeah, and they added Channing Frye to soak up some minutes as well. Otherwise, I think Tobias Harris is a pretty solid player who I enjoyed having on my team at the end of last year.

My Pick: No Pick
This was kind of an uninspired round, so I didn't really have any regrets.

ROUND 9
97 Isaiah Thomas, Pho PG    The Outsiders
98 Roy Hibbert, Ind C           The Kid From Thunder Struck
99 Jimmy Butler*, Chi SG    The Kid From Thunder Struck
100 Kevin Martin, Min SG     Butt Stuff
101 Jared Sullinger, Bos PF    It's Not The Same Macklemore
102 Patrick Beverley, Hou PG    For the love of the game
103 Alec Burks, Uta SG          Wennington Baseline
104 Eric Gordon, Nor SG       Team Agan
105 Jordan Hill, LAL PF        Team Roy
106 Jamal Crawford, LAC SG Team Ehrecke
107 Tyson Chandler, Dal C         Team Marcysquirts
108 Omer Asik, Nor C            Team schneider

Best Pick: Roy Hibbert
This was an inspired round as there were a lot of high upside guys taken that could pay off. Hibbert was dominant at the beginning of last year, and I think he will be much closer to that than he will be to the guy who looked like a statue down the stretch and in the majority of the playoffs. He could easily lead the league in blocks. By the way, I liked a lot about this round as Butler was a nice value pick. Beverly is now a full-time point guard. Jordan Hill will put up counting stats on a terrible team, and Asik will get consistent minutes again to be the defensive anchor for the Pelicans.

Worst Pick: Kevin Martin
What is the benefit of giving Martin minutes over Wiggins and LaVine? Anyone? Anyone at all? Yeah, I think he will see a big decrease in minutes and production. He's also a likely trade candidate for a contender to have even less of a role off the bench.

My Pick: Isaiah Thomas
I love Isaiah Thomas this year. He was int he top 20 in fantasy production last year. He did switch teams, but the Suns have said they are planning on rotating all three of them in the game, so he can still expect to get 25-30 minutes, with the majority coming with the bench unit where he will have free reign to score at will. His numbers will drop, but not to the point where he should have fallen to this spot. I'm not sure if there was a player I was targeting harder than Thomas.

ROUND 10
109 Avery Bradley, Bos SG    Team schneider
110 Anderson Varejao, Cle C Team Marcysquirts
111 Trey Burke, Uta PG         Team Ehrecke
112 Mario Chalmers, Mia PG Team Roy
113 Andrew Bogut, GS C       Team Agan
114 Taj Gibson, Chi PF          Wennington Baseline
115 Nene Hilario*, Wsh PF    For the love of the game
116 Spencer Hawes, LAC C         Team Ehrecke
117 J.R. Smith, NY SG           Butt Stuff
118 John Henson, Mil PF       The Kid From Thunder Struck
119 Paul George*, Ind SF       The Outsiders
120 Julius Randle, LAL PF     Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Trey Burke
Man, I really wanted Trey Burke too, but it made sense that he didn't fall to me. I think Burke will take a significant step forward this year, and considering that Mario Chalmers went one pick after him, how good of a value must Burke be? Like, Burke could play the year with Ebola and still probably outproduce Mario Chalmers.

Worst Pick: Mario Chalmers
Let me just repeat this: Trey Burke could outproduce him with Ebola.

My Pick: Paul George
It's a keeper league, so Paul George in the 8th next year is incredible value, especially since he has already been seen knocking down jumpers. He might be back by Thanksgiving, who knows? But yeah, he'll hang out on IR this season, and next year, I get first round talent in the 8th.

ROUND 11
121 Dion Waiters, Cle SG      Flint Tropics
122 Doug McDermott, Chi SF   The Outsiders
123 Terrence Ross, Tor SG     The Kid From Thunder Struck
124 Enes Kanter, Uta C          Butt Stuff
125 Andre Iguodala, GS SF    It's Not The Same Macklemore
126 DeMarre Carroll, Atl SF         For the love of the game
127 Draymond Green, GS SF Wennington Baseline
128 Ersan Ilyasova, Mil PF     Team Agan
129 Josh McRoberts*, Mia PF Team Roy
130 Bojan Bogdanovic, Bkn SG Team Ehrecke
131 Jameer Nelson, Dal PG         Team Marcysquirts
132 C.J. Miles, Ind SF            Team schneider

Best Pick: Ersan Ilyasova
We're getting late in the draft, so it's going to be tough to find great picks. Ilyasova might get back to where he was a few years ago. It is at least a possibility.

Worst Pick: Dion Waiters
I do not like Waiters's chances of fitting in on this new-look Cavs team. I very much think he will find the doghouse quickly, and his best case scenario is getting traded to a bad team for a second round pick where they will not mind him throwing up ridiculous shots while teammates who are wide open slump their shoulders in disgust.

My Pick: Doug McDermott
He's kind of been doing a little bit of everything this preseason. I think his minutes will increase as the season goes on, and he will score no matter what. He's not great, but I think he can add top-100 value.

ROUND 12
133 Gorgui Dieng, Min C       Team schneider
134 JaVale McGee, Den C      Team Marcysquirts
135 Amir Johnson, Tor PF      It's Not The Same Macklemore
136 Matt Barnes, LAC SF     Team Roy
137 Marcus Smart, Bos PG      Team Agan
138 Tim Hardaway Jr., NY SG Wennington Baseline
139 Danny Green, SA SG       For the love of the game
140 Carlos Boozer, LAL PF         It's Not The Same Macklemore
141 Miles Plumlee, Pho PF     Butt Stuff
142 K.J. McDaniels, Phi SF    The Kid From Thunder Struck
143 James Ennis, Mia SF        The Kid From Thunder Struck
144 Paul Pierce, Wsh SF         Flint Tropics

Best Pick: Paul Pierce
Pierce still has old man game (old man game that he has had since age 16), so he should at least be a solid late round addition, especially early on with Beal out. That's not bad for the end of Round 12.

Worst Pick: James Ennis
Who is James Ennis? I am nearly positive he is a rookie, because his name sounds familiar. Did he play at Syracuse? Maybe. But I don't know who this is, and I know over 50 NBA players, so I will assume he is not good.

My Pick: No Pick
I cannot identify all of the players in this round, so I'm not too worried about missing out.

ROUND 13
145 Aaron Gordon, Orl PF      Team Marcysquirts
146 Otto Porter Jr., Wsh SF    The Outsiders
147 Nick Young*, LAL SG         The Kid From Thunder Struck
148 Andrea Bargnani, NY PF Butt Stuff
149 Channing Frye, Orl PF         It's Not The Same Macklemore
150 Timofey Mozgov, Den C For the love of the game
151 Anthony Morrow, OKC SG Wennington Baseline
152 Tony Wroten, Phi PG         Team Agan
153 Wilson Chandler, Den SF Team Roy
154 Jodie Meeks*, Det SG         It's Not The Same Macklemore
155 Dante Exum, Uta SG         Team Marcysquirts
156 Evan Turner, Bos SG         Team schneider

Best Pick: Channing Frye
Yeah, he is hurt to start the year, but he can be a nice fantasy addition when he comes back. They paid him a lot of money, so he will get minutes, and that is a nice asset in the final round.

Worst Pick: Jodie Meeks
If you hold onto Jodie Meeks until he gets healthy, you have a very sad fantasy basketball existence.

My Pick: Otto Porter Jr.
Beal is out early, so I am going to hope that Porter has discovered offense after struggling with injuries in his rookie year. He has a 50/50 shot of surviving two weeks on my roster.

When it comes down to it, my team is the heavy favorite, but Team Ehrecke and Flint Tropics both have a lot of talent on their rosters (Weirdly, two of my favorite picks from those teams play in Utah with Trey Burke and Gordon Hayward). If my team stays healthy, I'm untouchable, but I highly doubt that will happen, so the key will be filling out the back end of my roster, as there are definitely some changes on the horizon. Best of luck to everyone in your own fantasy basketball leagues, and if you can acquire 4 of the first 14 picks, do that; it will make things so much easier.

LeBron and the Leverage of Superstars

Breaking News: LeBron James signed with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

This is the news that got all of the attention, but his actual contract deserves almost as much attention. LeBron signed a one-year deal with a player option for the second year. The reasoning behind only signing a two-year contract is that the TV deal will run out after that season, and the NBA is due to make A LOT more money. With the players having a 50/50 share of that revenue, the salary cap could be taking a big bump up which would mean that the max salary will get a significant bump. This makes total sense for LeBron, as it gives him the best chance to maximize his earnings.

But that player option for the second year is what fascinates me most. LeBron basically has ensured that he will hold the Cavaliers hostage over the next two years, because it makes sense for them to do everything in their power to bend to LeBron's demands.

LeBron wants Kevin Love, so the Cavaliers are likely to trade Wiggins, Bennett, and whatever else it takes in order to get Kevin Love. But it could extend far beyond that. If he doesn't want to play with Dion Waiters or Tristan Thompson, there is really nothing stopping the Cavs from trading them away in pursuit of someone like Thaddeus Young.

And are we sure that Kyrie Irving is safe? As much as I would love to have a scorching hot take, I'll put it at a medium burn, because he most likely is sticking around. But maybe Chris Paul gets unhappy in LA and wants out. Would it be ridiculous for LeBron to request having Chris Paul as his point guard? He's a better facilitator, and a far better defender. Yes, Kyrie is much better for the future, but LeBron's best years are right now, so I certainly wouldn't blame him for trying to bring in the best current talent to play alongside him.

LeBron is changing what it means to be an elite free agent. He not only gets to pick his destination, but by signing a short contract with a player option, he can choose his teammates to an extent as well. The owners wield most of the power in the NBA, but if elite players insist on player options, they can lock up security, while also being able to leave when it best suits them. You can say that LeBron is a once-in-a-generation talent, and that's true, but this option is probably available for at least the top 10 guys in the league. No team is going to tell Durant, Love, Westbrook, Davis, etc. that they don't want them if they insist on some player options in their max level deal. They will do what is necessary to get them on the team, and at that point, they will do what it takes to keep them happy and opting into the team's plan.

Everybody knows that LeBron is something special on the court, but it's off the court where LeBron's impact is truly changing the game.

Something To Be Excited About For All 30 NBA Teams

The NBA is back, and I'm super excited about it. Since I grew up a Bulls fan, nothing will ever touch the 90s for my basketball love, but even though my love can never be as deep, the variety of things to love for the current NBA is incredible. There is not a team that is not at least somewhat interesting to watch this season, and I am incredibly excited for so many things. Here is one thing for every team.

Atlanta Hawks - Lou Williams is coming back. He is awesome off the bench, and I used to hate him, because my brother used to be the 76ers a couple years ago and dominate me with Lou Williams. If Williams finally becomes as good as his video game identity, he will be first-team All NBA.

Boston Celtics - Jeff Green. I have an unnatural love for Jeff Green, because I worked for the Sonics during their final year, meaning I saw Green's and Durant's rookie year. He also got Scottie Pippen comparisons all the time, and Scottie will always be near and dear to my heart. Is he going to be Scottie Pippen? No, but he showed flashes of brilliance, and the Celtics are going to need somebody to step up, and Jeff Green is probably their best option for that.

Brooklyn Nets - Aundray Blatche. Oh yes, out of all the changes the Nets made, I'm going with a guy they brought back. Blatche, who took the minimum to screw over the Wizards more, so they have to pay him as much as possibly after amnestying him is going to be one of the most interesting players of the season. That is because he will be playing with KG. Blatche has always had talent, so will KG help him unlock those skills, or will he drive KG insane? There is NO MIDDLE GROUND. Can't wait.

Charlotte Bobcats - Kemba Walker. I think most would say he had a disappointing rookie year, but his second year, he improved across the board with increased usage. Now that he has Al Jefferson to take some of the defensive focus away from him, he could easily go for 20 PPG. Also, do not count them out of having the worst overall record. This team isn't just going to stand up and let the 76ers be worse than them; they'll have to earn it.

Chicago Bulls - Derrick Rose. So I'm an admitted Bulls fan, and there are a lot of things I could write here, but everything pales in comparison to this team having Derrick Rose back. The Bulls could really use a backup center, but outside of that, this team looks great. They may even occasionally bench Deng since they have Dunleavy to take minutes at the 3, and they can just play Jimmy Butler 45 minutes a game so Thibodeau doesn't get out of rhythm. Taj added 20 pounds of muscle and has looked like a beast in the preseason. Okay, need to stop before I start waxing poetically about what Erik Murphy can bring in his 10 minutes of garbage time this season.

Cleveland Cavaliers - Anderson Varejao. Yes, Kyrie is great and everything about Andrew Bynum is worth paying attention to, but don't forget how great Varejao was last year before a blood clot ended his season. It's never just one thing with Varejao, but it's always something. I really hope he stays healthy, because he's a total hustle player, and if he's playing the Bulls, I'll want to reach through the screen and strangle him, but you just gotta respect what he brings to the court.

Dallas Mavericks - Dirk Nowitzki. If he's back to 100%, or even near there, he's amazing to watch. He does things that nobody else in the game can do, and we should not forget how great he is. Never forget: Initially traded for Robert "Tractor" Traylor.

Denver Nuggets - Everybody. Seriously, everyone. Checking out their roster from top to bottom, I can see the value in every player they have. They are kind of like an experienced college team where they'll play a lot of guys and can scrap with teams that have better talent. They will just keep throwing out lines, and they have an insane bench scorer who can turn into the best player on the court in Nate Robinson. JaVale McGee and Kenneth Faried as their starting front court has so much potential. They are likely going to regress, but they are also likely to bother every team they play as they keep sending out fresh guys.

Detroit Pistons - The Frontcourt. I kind of feel bad for Greg Monroe, because he is a very good NBA player, but he is completely uninteresting compared to Josh Smith and Andre Drummond. But how those three work together in an offense where they will basically just all be calling for the ball in the paint, with Josh Smith occasionally popping out for an ill-advised three just because he can. Also, they may never get the ball with Brandon Jennings running the point. They will have the biggest smiles on some nights and the biggest frowns on others. I expect this team to make Assistant Coach Rasheed Wallace proud with their number of ejections.

Golden State Warriors - Stephen Curry. He's really amazing when healthy. I don't think he'll ever be fully healthy for a full year, but who cares? When he's out there, it is nearly impossible to change the channel.

Houston Rockets - Dwight Howard. I know everybody hates Dwight Howard, and he does seem incredibly douchey, but back when I worked for the Sonics. I saw him put up 39 points, and I'm pretty sure that 24 of those points were scored on dunks. I just checked the box score and he somehow made 15-20 free throws in that game. To be fair, Robert Swift was injured during that game, but I will never forget how dominant he was in that game. Back surgeries are bad news, but he has actually had time to totally rest it, and if he's back to Orlando Magic Howard, the Rockets are going to be a contender.

Indiana Pacers - The Next Level. The Pacers have three guys who have a very realistic shot of making a huge leap forward in their game. The most obvious is Paul George who already showed that he's good enough to be a star, but if he can make a higher percentage of shots and get to the line some more, he might be a superstar. Roy Hibbert was dominant in the postseason, and if he does that all season, that could make things very interesting. There's also Lance Stephenson, who might be great, but could also turn into a guy who takes so many bad shots that he cancels out his defensive contributions. But if he developed a consistent three from the corner, he could cause some serious issues for other teams.

Los Angeles Clippers - The Wings. Yes, Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are great, but their wings are what could bring this team to the next level. They are all guys who are way better suited to be on a contender. Jamal Crawford is a heat check guy who can score a ridiculous amount of points if he's on. If he's off, you bench him, and it's no big deal because of the other guys around him. Matt Barnes is a nice contributor, Jared Dudley fills many of the same roles, as he plays tough defense and is high energy. And then there's JJ Redick, who was made to play for a contender as he provides above average defense and great shooting. Nothing else, but that's all they need. I also really like Reggie Bullock, but I do think it'll be tough for him to get many minutes.

Los Angeles Lakers - Steve Nash. I love Kobe too and am anxious to see him back, but I feel like everybody forgot how great Steve Nash is. The way that people talked about Nash, I would have thought he played 20 games and produced zero value. Yes, he's awful on defense, but he still has tremendous court vision and almost shot 50-40-90 last year. Also, Kobe. He's more like Jordan than any other player in history. And yes, LeBron's better, but he would cut his left arm off to win another championship, and you have to respect that.

Memphis Grizzlies - Grit n' Grind. This is not going to be pretty basketball, but if you fondly look back on the 90s, this is the most 90s style team you could ever possibly see.

Miami Heat - LeBron. I know I have picked some under-the-radar guys for other teams, but LeBron is amazing to watch. Remember, LeBron got better last year. He could still be improving. That is so scary. When he plays the Bulls tonight, I am going to be filled with hate, but I still can't wait.

Milwaukee Bucks - LARRY SANDERS! - Credit to Zach Lowe, because he deserves the CAPS treatment. Not only does he block shots like no other, but he also did this.

Minnesota Timberwolves - Ricky Rubio. Not only is he the happiest guy in the NBA, but he also makes others around him happier. He is encouraging Alexey Shved to play with a smile, because he plays better when he is happy. If I could adopt an NBA player, it would be Ricky Rubio. Am I the only one who imagines him as the Tom Haverford of the NBA. I can't be.

New Orleans Pelicans - Anthony Davis. If The Brow takes the leap (like everyone in the world seems to be predicting), New Orleans basketball will be really fun. I still worry about their defense, but with Holiday-Gordon-Evans-Anderson-Davis out there, they'll be incredibly fun to watch while they have the ball.

New York Knicks - Carmelo Anthony. He's got old man game. He's not an athleticism guy, but he knows all the tricks to get his shot off, and that will never leave him. Down the road, if he wanted to take a smaller role, he could probably keep being a valuable contributor for a team well into his 40s.

Oklahoma City Thunder - Kevin Durant. Nearly the same explanation as LeBron. Durant is still getting better, and that's scary. He's great. Enjoy him in his prime.

Orlando Magic - Youth. Trying to decide what young guy is the man to get most excited about is too tough, so I'm just happy to watch everybody. Yes, Oladipo and Vucevic are the best bets to stand out, but Tobias Harris, Mo Harkless, and Andrew Nicholson could also take steps forward this year. No, they probably won't be good, but it'll be fun to see who's the best of the bunch.

Philadelphia 76ers - Brandon Davies. Remember him? From BYU. He got dismissed for the honor code, which most likely means he had sex, possibly with the Mormons most valuable commodity, white women. But he's on the 76ers. There are 29 teams that he probably couldn't get playing time with, but he's on the one where he can. I know people keep saying that they won't break the record for most losses, but man, you look at this roster, and they definitely have a shot.

Phoenix Suns - Eric Bledsoe. This is easy, because he was exciting in limited minutes for the Clippers, but now the Suns may as well play him as much as possible and see what good comes from it. They may even trade Dragic to help with the tanking, which would give him even more freedom to do as he pleases. It's Bledsoe's team, and I can't wait to see how that turns out.

Portland Trail Blazers - Damian Lillard. He was Rookie of the Year last year, so he may be getting better still. Even if he is only as good as last year, that's still a fun player to build around. He's also got Aldridge in the middle and a lot of quality NBA players around them.

Sacramento Kings - DeMarcus Cousins. There's basketball in Sacramento, and maybe this is the year that Cousins figures it out. Yes, I could see myself saying that in six years too, but things might finally be coming together. If Cousins cared, just, like 80% of the time, he'd be an All-Star. If he cared all the time, he's an MVP candidate.

San Antonio Spurs - Teamwork. Yeah, it's cliche, but how do you separate an individual on this group that is made to be a team. Duncan is fantastic, Tony Parker is properly rated by hardcore NBA fans, but still underrated by the casual fan, maybe Ginobili can only play 15 minutes, but if he does it at Ginobili levels, that's still great, and then there's Kawhi who turned into a beast down the stretch. You put these parts together, watch them gel perfectly, and enjoy the fun.

Toronto Raptors - Jonas Valanciunas. He was super popular to be a sleeper last year, and he was fine, but what he showed in the summer and preseason lead me to believe that he might be taking a big step forward this year. Honorable mention to Rudy Gay who is seen as highly overrated by analytics, but he's still a really good basketball player, and that shouldn't be underestimated.

Utah Jazz - The Bigs. Enes Kanter and Derrick Favors. Who is going to be the dominant big? No idea. Are either of them going to be good? Probably, but we don't know. I'm anxious to find out.

Washington Wizards - Johnley Beall - John Wall and Bradley Beal are two players I love watching, and they work great together. They have been helping each other get better since the moment Beal was drafted, with Beal helping Wall on his shot, and Wall helping Beal with ball handling and defense. These are two guys who can be All-Stars with Beal as a dominant scorer, and Wall as the most athletic point guard in the league who can do things that nobody else can. Do not underestimate how good these guys can be.

The season opens up tonight, and there's plenty to be excited about.

LeBron's Struggles Are a Good Thing For LeBron Fans

LeBron choked again. Jordan will always be better. LeBron will never win the big one.

These are the common themes that have been harped on during and after the conclusion of the NBA Playoffs. Let's go through them one by one.

So maybe LeBron isn't clutch. Really, how many people are? Sometimes I'm clutch. Other times, I can give myself paralysis by analysis and not always do things to the best of my abilities. I'm guessing most people have some combination of clutch and unclutch moments. LeBron is the same way, as he showed clutch moments against the Bulls and unclutch moments against the Mavericks. Being clutch is something that is horribly overblown by the media, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist at all. Had LeBron been shot and killed after the Chicago series, he would have been looked at as someone who had finally figured out how to win, but was taken away from us at the height of his powers. Because of the Dallas series, he's back to square one. This is a good thing.

And finally, LeBron will never be seen as better than Jordan, because nobody will ever be seen as better than Jordan. LeBron could win multiple titles, lead the league in scoring seven times, lead the league in rebounding eleven times, and even lead the league in assists once to prove he isn't selfish. Hell, he could average 50 points a game for a season and he still wouldn't be seen as better than Jordan. You know how I know this? Because Wilt Chamberlain already did it. There is no possible way for a player to be recognized as better than Jordan. Jordan will forever be the best, so if you hear a debate starting about the topic, just leave, or change the channel, because all you're going to hear is two people wasting their breath. LeBron will never be better than Jordan, but that's a good thing.

LeBron's failures in the playoffs are what makes him keep going. He is by far the most talented player that has ever played this game. If he had five championships by now, what is the point of continuing? What drives a person who has shown they can dominate the league with sheer will? It happened to Jordan and he played baseball for two years. Jordan loved to win, but it came to a certain point where he knew the win was inevitable. At that point, what really is your motivation? It is a good thing LeBron still doesn't have a ring. Love him or hate him, he's pretty god-damned amazing to watch. I love Derrick Rose, but LeBron destroyed Rose in the playoffs. It hurts me to admit that, but there is no other way to interpret what happened. As a Bulls fan, I was pissed, but looking back as a basketball fan, holy shit, that LeBron James guy is something else. The scary thing is that he could get better. The scarier thing is that this loss gives him a reason to.

And that's a real good thing.

-Joe

P.S. But yeah, I still hate him and hope he never wins another basketball game for the rest of his career.

P.P.S. This has been thrown all over the Internet, but just in case you didn't know, Debbie LOVES cats.

Why I Still Believe In The Bulls - Part Two

I still believe the Bulls can beat the Heat in their series. I know I am in the minority with that opinion, but I honestly believe it can happen. Is it likely? No, I honestly do not think it is likely. As I said before this series started, these are two evenly matched teams, and either team can win on any given night. The Bulls went into Game Four, needing to win their remaining home games and win one game in Miami to win the series. After losing Game Four, the Bulls need to win their remaining home games and win one game in Miami. That hasn't changed.

Since these teams are evenly matched, each game is a coin flip. It landed on heads the first game, and then it landed on tails the next three games. If it lands on heads in game five, that doesn't mean it is less likely for it to land on heads in game six, and then game seven. And if the Bulls win Game Five, it puts a TON of pressure on the Heat in Game Six, because they do not want to go back to Chicago to win the series in a do-or-die Game Seven.

That's all well and good, but I can't ignore the fact that the Bulls have lost three in a row. If they keep playing like they have been playing, it will take a miracle for them to win three in a row. Luckily, there are many areas that, not only the Bulls can improve, but that the Bulls should improve on for the rest of this series.

The Bulls will stop playing so sloppy. Their turnovers aren't caused by overwhelming defense, they are caused by sloppy play and laziness. Sometimes the Bulls get lackadaisical on offense and either make a lazy pass or forget that, yes, the NBA has instituted a shot clock, so you do eventually have to throw the ball at the hoop.

Eventually the Bulls will start hitting shots. They aren't the worst shooting team in the history of the NBA, so I believe that their shots will actually start going in the basket. The Heat have played good defense, but not great defense. 

They have a song out that should propel them to greater heights. Wait, have you not heard "Hey Bulls" yet? If not, you are in for a treat. Actually, even if you have heard it, you're still in for a treat as this is simply a great song (and an even better video).

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have probably watched this video a dozen times. The most difficult part of watching this video is picking out my favorite part of it. The song is amazing. There is a random guy off to the side painting the Bulls logo. There are old ladies rocking out while wearing tie-dyed clothes. There is some random dude wearing a fake beard and Mario gloves. And let's not forget the guy dressed like a shriner with a wolf mask on. But this guy really steals the show.

An old guy with a goofy hat, tie-dyed shirt, and red tank top. He also gets bonus points over the ladies because he is still able to stand. And he takes full advantage of that by dancing around during the song. But he cements his status as star of the video, because of his batoning abilities. That's right, a male batonist.

Justice - The Heat chant "MVP" for half of their team. Joel Anthony. Really? You believe him to be the MVP? Heat fans are such douchebags, and I believe God (in this case, David Stern) works in mysterious ways. Yes, LeBron has been allowed 15 steps during the playoffs so far, but that is only to build him up to have it all come crashing down. And really, there couldn't be a better storyline than LeBron's team cruising to a 3-1 lead only to choke this series away. David Stern, er, God, you are one magnificent bastard.

My pick: Bulls in seven. Suck my balls, Heat fans.

-Joe

P.S. If all of those reasons aren't enough, don't forget that Luol Deng has a heart of gold.

Bulls vs. Heat: Who's Gonna Win?

The Eastern Conference Finals are set as it will be the top two seeds when the Chicago Bulls take on the Miami Heat. I have made no attempts to hide my love for the Bulls, but today's post will not be a Bulls lovefest, but instead, a look at both teams to figure out who will actually win this series.

I realize the Bulls have struggled with the Pacers and Hawks. Did they play like shit against the Pacers? Yes, for the first four games of that series they did. But the Pacers also played some of their best basketball during that series. Meanwhile, nobody wants to give the Hawks any respect, but they're REALLY talented. Horford, Smith, Johnson, Crawford, and even Jeff Teague is a lineup that can be terrifying. This team is the posterchild for middling team that has the potential to beat anybody on any given night. They dominated the Magic more often than not and took two from the Bulls. To say this team isn't extremely talented is ludicrous.

Now let's look at what the Heat have done. Can anybody explain to me when the Heat have looked good in these playoffs? Everybody is talking about how impressive they have looked, but what has been so impressive about these guys? Their supposed impressive play has led to them playing one fewer game than the Bulls who have apparently played like shit. And to call their competition definitively better is kind of ridiculous.

First off, the 76ers suck. They do a good job of playing as a team, but they just don't have that much talent. I don't think anybody is arguing about this.

Next, the Celtics haven't looked good for a while. It's not the Kendrick Perkins trade, it's the fact that they're worn down. They did fine without him early in the season, but this team just didn't have it by the end of the year. People will point to the fact that they swept the Knicks. Well, first off, the Knicks suck, and the Celtics were still taken down to the wire at home against them. Then Amare got hurt and they were able to stomp Melo and scrubs. This is not an impressive feat.

During the final week of the season, the Celtics got blown out by the Bulls and the Heat. I have never seen someone raped on a basketball court before Derrick Rose did it to Rajon Rondo in that game. Rondo would never go to the police about it; he was far too ashamed. He was so petrified of Rose that he dislocated his elbow to prevent Rose from doing it again.

If Rondo is healthy, they probably win Game 4, and then we are very likely looing at a seven-game series. The Heat took care of business, but they have had a fortuitous schedule so far.

This series is going to be close. If you say the Bulls are going to blow away the Heat, or the Heat are going to blow away the Bulls, you're a moron. Even if one of these teams ends up sweeping the other team, you'd still be a moron. Claiming that one team has a superior advantage over the other is asinine, because that great advantage simply doesn't exist.

Do the Heat have more talent than the Bulls? Yes, without a doubt, the Heat have more talent. Just having LeBron makes that a near certainty when matching up talent against anybody. LeBron has more talent than Jordan in his prime. Now don't get me wrong, Jordan was light years better than LeBron will probably ever be, but there's no shame for LeBron in not being the best.

And that's what this comes down to, the Heat are more talented, but can the Bulls be better? They're a better coached team, and it's really a bad matchup for the Heat. Deng is criminally underrated on defense, so LeBron is going to have to work for every basket he gets. Bogans and Brewer can harass Wade all game long. When they want to swtich to Korver, Rose can keep up with Wade for short stretches, while Korver guards whatever shit they are putting out there at point guard. Noah will be in Bosh's face all game long. And Boozer started turning a corner during Game 4 of the Hawks series so he should decimate whatever piece of shit they put out there. Oh yeah, and who's gonna guard Rose?

On the other hand, LeBron and Wade can produce no matter who is defending them. Chris Bosh could be harassed by the Bulls big men for every second that he is out there and still put up a double-double for the Heat. One or more of their outside shooters could get hot and nail their open looks. If that happens, the Heat are practically unbeatable.

So who's gonna win? I have no clue, and anybody who says they do is a jackass. I do know one thing though. Cheering for the Heat during these playoffs is like cheering for the Nazis during the Holocaust. Maybe you'll be on the winning side, but I hope to God you don't feel good about it.

Go Bulls.

-Joe

P.S. My birthday is just a few months away, so if anybody is looking for gift ideas, this yacht would be a nice start.

My Best (And Worst) Sports Predictions

I've really got nothing important to write about today, so I decided to take a trip down memory lane and figure out my hits and misses for sports predictions over the last year.

The Good:
When having my fantasy baseball draft, I predicted the following people were terrible picks:  Jacoby Ellsbury, Aramis Ramirez, Brian Roberts, Ben Zobrist, Michael Young, Derrek Lee, and Nolan Reimold.

When Baseball America ranked Alcides Escobar the #12 prospect in baseball, I called him the most overrated prospect on their list.  I don't care if some say that you shouldn't judge a prospect by his first year in the pros.  I'm like the immature cheese in that commercial (Cheese-It, I believe), la la la can't hear you.  LA LA LA, CAN'T HEAR YOU.

I liked Mike Trout more than Baseball America.  This is one I feel very good about since he's probably one of the top 3 prospects in all of baseball now.  Suck on that, BA.

I knew that Andrew Luck was really good, and Jake Locker was really bad.  Does that count?  It doesn't?  Fair enough, but I'm still keeping it up there.  By the way, although I never blogged it, I told everyone I talked to that Andrew Luck would come back for another year of school.

I predicted that if Jay Cutler could succeed under any coach, that coach would be Mike Martz.

I told anyone who would listen that Chester Taylor sucks.  Recently, Football Outsiders released their list of worst running backs according to advanced metrics, and Chester Taylor was the second worst running back in the NFL, right behind Lawrence Maroney.  Nice job, Chester.

The Bad:
When having my fantasy baseball draft, I predicted the following people were great picks:   Justin Upton, Grady Sizemore, BJ Upton (I LOVE me some Uptons), and Gordon Beckham.
I also said that drafting Ubaldo Jimenez in the 7th round was inexcusable (to be fair, I said it was inexcusable because Tommy Hanson and Clayton Kershaw were still on the board, so I'm still a jackass, just not a total jackass).  

When Starlin Castro was rated the #16 prospect in all of baseball, I called him the second most overrated prospect in baseball.  Now the real question is whether I will root for his success since he plays for the Cubs, or root for his downfall so I can look smart.  Cubs will suck either way, so probably the latter.

Proving that I have no business judging Cubs prospects, I thought Vitters should be ranked in the Top 40 when he was ranked at 70.  He proceeded to shit himself for an entire season.  How can he be bad?  His swing is so pretty, but he does like to show it off by swinging at every pitch imaginable.

I wrote an entire post on whether Jordan's Bulls could beat LeBron's Bulls, since, you know, LeBron was definitely going to Chicago.  Whoops.  The good news is that I picked Jordan's Bulls to win.

I advocated for the Bears signing John David Booty multiple times.  The worst part about predicting his greatness is that I still stand by it.   With his lineage, there is nothing that should hold him back:

I predicted a team to win the national championship.  That team lost five games.  We do not need to go into what team I am referring to.

-Joe

P.S.  This is the most dedicated tribute band in the world:  Of course it's a Def Leppard tribute band: